how can i tell my wife about my crossdressing desire?

Question

i am married just a month back. i like to crossdress in women clothing. nobody knows about my this fascination but i do not want to hide this from my wife. will she be acceptable if i tell her or i should not tell her

Answer 1

Well "Mona", I think that you just tell her (probably something you should have divulged before the marriage). Will she accept this? Who knows...but if she does, then you both can share underwear and save money.

Answer 2

You should tell her , hiding it is just not good. Your best bet, is to take it slow and easy, don't just surprise her by showing up dressed up, that is too much for anyone to handle. Be prepared to answer some tough questions, and always be willing to talk about it. Point her to some great online resources, and above all do not rush it, let her set the pace as she takes this all in.

Answer 3

Okay, this is how you do it. You begin by asking your wife what she thinks of crossdressers? She will probably think that they are all homosexuals with gender problems. Then you will ask her if she ever met one? She will probably say she saw them on TV, or knew someone who knew someone.

Then you will say that she probably met more than she knows because 5-10% of the male population is somehow associated with cross dressing. Crossdressers are normal people who just get a feeling of well-being by wearing clothes of the other gender. Tell her that you've done some research on this.

When a male crossdresser wears woman's clothes his brain releases a series of neurotransmitters which give him a feeling of well-being, pleasure, gratification and self-identity. Its a powerful stimulus and the neurotransmitters are the same ones associated with addiction patterns. So the crossdresser feels a NEED to crossdress. He will then either struggle with it for the rest of his life or give in to it.

If he gives in to it then he develops a female alter-ego gives "her" a name and even falls in love with his alter ego. He often associates with crossdressing organizations where they encourage each other to go further and further with their crossdressing. It is not unusual for these people to sacrifice their careers and their relationships to pursue their first love - crossdressing. These are the people who eventually undergo sexual reassignment surgery to become female.

The other, and larger group, are those crossdresser who struggle with it. They fight off their addiction and seek ways of coping with it. They limit their crossdressing, they don't let it interfere with their relationships, or their job, or their families. If they marry they work with their spouse to find a solution which is agreeable to both. For instance the wife may insist that he not wear her clothes, not crossdress when others are present, not join crossdressing organizations, or not impersonate a woman. They may agree that crossdressing be limited to the bedroom or only done when the man is performing some helpful chores inside the house. The husband may agree to limit his crossdressing to weekends, or limit the crossdressing or a couple articles of clothing. He may try to wean himself down to just slips wore under his pajamas at night. Whatever, they can agree on to make the relationship work.

By this time she will probably figure out that you know way to much. You will assure her at she comes first. You will begin by limiting yourself to just men's tricot nylon pajamas ordered from J.C. Pennys. (with a half slip wore underneath.)

Good luck... Yes, you and her will struggle with this for some time. You will have to admit it is an addiction, but one that you will fight. Afterall she means more to you than life itself.

Answer 4

Why would you start a marriage under a veil of secrecy. if she wont accept you for who you are now... its better to call it quits before you have kids and or more obligations. Tell her now and hope she loves you with your desires. If she doesn't, find someone who will.

It may not be easy to hear, but may be your best choice.

Answer 5

you probably should have told her back when you first started dating seriously. You need to be honest, if she doesn't like it then there is nothing you can do. Just let her know gently, it will probably be hard on both of you and if you are good enough of a couple you will both be fine

Answer 6

That depends on what type of wife she is. I'm sure she'll ask a million questions, question your sexuality, etc. Are you prepared for that? If it were me, I would, otherwise, you'll go through life wondering and hiding forever.

Answer 7

You should have told her. I told my wife before our first actual date that I had an interest in bondage. If she hadn't shown some interest I never would have gotten involved. She may support it, she may reject it and you will have to do it in private. But you need to tell her and if she doesn't support it, then tell her you understand but she must understand you will do it in private without her. This doesn't involve any other women does it?

Answer 8

What you should of done was tell her before you said I do. I think if you have such a desire for it then you should of been up front about this desire before you got married.

Answer 9

That's a toughie...You do need to sit down with her and tell her the truth. If doesn't accept you for who you are at this point, then there's definitely a problem.

Answer 10

Well your name is mona and your avatar already looks like a girl, are you sure she doesnt already know?