Do you feel you can tell your spouse everything and be open and honest? Do you feel you have to keep secret?s?

Question

I want honest and open opinions on this matter! I would love to see the response on this one!

Answer 1

I have been married for 17 years and have learned the wisdom of discretion. Keep your own counsel; there is no need to share EVERYTHING with anyone ~ your spouse included. I don't share anything with him that would violate the privacy of other people. If someone shares something with me in confidence, I would never share it with my spouse, unless it would harm him for me to withhold the information. I am not advocating dishonesty, just tact and diplomacy. I don't do anything that I need to hide, but I also do not feel the need to tell my husband things that will upset him or damage our relationship.

Example: My husband and I have very different ways of handling finances and we keep separate finances (his idea.) . He is unaware that I have been contributing to college savings funds for all of our children for years. (He would want to use that money for something else.) I am not lying about the accounts ~ I just haven't told him about them. I also have an emergency fund of which he is unaware.

Example: My husband's cousin made a pass at me once several years ago at a family function. The cousin had been drinking, and the behavior was uncharacteristic. I chose not to tell my husband (and create a huge family feud.) It never happened again. I am glad that I didn't tell my husband. It would have forever ruined his relationship with a man who ~ apart from this incident ~ has always been a good friend to my husband.

Answer 2

My hubby and I have always been as open and honest as possible. We don't hide much from each other that I'm aware of, LOL, we even discussed that neither one of us wants to be in the bathroom while the other is doing a number two but don't mind peeing with the other there! My hubby did hide a porn movie from me and I came across it while cleaning. I asked him about it and he said he was curious and didn't want to feel uncomfortable watching his first porn in front of me. Totally understandable situation coming from a guy that used to be Amish (seriously). Now we watch together sometimes! He tells me everything including the embarrassing things(which I won't share on here) and I do the same with him. If you're not doing something wrong then you have nothing to hide, right?!

Answer 3

We've been married for 36 years, and we don't demand absolute, 100% disclosure from one another. It's just a matter of mutual trust and allowing the other person some space in the relationship.

Some sexual fantasies we share, and others, perhaps we don't. It's nothing weird or anything.

You know, we all receive separate postal mail, and email accounts are no different. I don't go snooping in her email and she doesn't read mine. It's called privacy and there's nothing wrong with it.

Neither one of us has an affair on the side or has any reason to suspect that anything illicit is going on.

Answer 4

I am open and honest with my hubby, except for one thing-I didn't tell him that his Playboy renewal came in the mail. I ripped it up and threw it away! Little things are ok, like what I did. Most of the time he can read me like a book. I never want to hurt him by keeping secrets. Lies are like snowballs-they get bigger as they go along.

Answer 5

I feel its easier to be honest,not that I really do anything that I would have to hide!But I basically tell him everything,well there are times when I over spend but I put everything away before he gets home,so its more like an don't ask,don't tell situation!

Answer 6

I am an open book with my husband. He knows everything about my past, he knows what I do everyday, and he always knows what I'm feeling~ all because I TELL HIM! When I met him I'd been through 2 relationships with nothing but abuse, lies, deceit, cheating, and selfishness (all from them); I'd decided to try something new with this relationship! It's been the happiest relationship of my life!

Answer 7

I can honestly say that I do not keep secrets from my husband. I do not have the time nor the energy to keep things from him. I do believe in the use of tact when divulging less than savory information.

However, if it is a surprise, (birthday or special occasion) you couldn't pry the information out of me. I love surprises, and believe they should remain so.

Answer 8

I tell people what I want them to know, spouse included.