As a child growing up I was always known as Mike's (my popular older brother) fugly little fatso sister! Almost everyone one in school ridiculed me about my weight. I would sit in class enduring insult from every direction, feeling like crap as kids through paper balls at me. I would come home crying everyday after school, ashamed of what I was. Mike’s fugly little fatso sister!!! Basically I had a horrible childhood.
Anyway let me get to the point…
My brother’s best friend Jake use to come over to our house like everyday, and like any freshmen girl in my high school thought he was the hottest senior in school. So, I cut his picture out of the yearbook and paste it in my diary, writing my heart out about how I was hopelessly in love Jake Thomson. Soooo… one day I forgot my diary in the living room. And of course my brother and Jake were in the living room goofing around and watching TV. At the time I had no idea my diary was missing, and I definitely did NOT think Jake would find and read my diary!
When I finally found out he had read my diary in was too late. He went around school telling everyone what I wrote. How I was so very hopelessly in LOVE with him, and planned to merry him on day. He even told everyone how my dad would call me his “little butterball”! You know like the butterball turkey? I want to commit suicide everyday I was force to go to school, however I didn’t I just end up eating more and getting ever fatter.
Jake made fun of me more then anyone in school: pushing me out of the way whenever I was around, constantly making malicious false rumors about me. He NEVER gave up an opportunity to humiliate me!
Finally my parents got sick and tired of me coming home crying everyday, from all the teasing at school. So, the next thing I knew I was off to an all girl boarding school in New York, were I over the years lost weight. No longer the FUGLY LITTLE FATSO BUTTERBALL! I became the tall, beautiful girl, who later on in life became a model.
It’s been years since high school, and I see him… Jake! At a club, the azz who made my life an absolute living nightmare! Though now he’s not so much of an azzhole anymore… and I realize even though he made me feel so bad… I like the person he is now… or appears to be. He has apologized a million times, and I do believe he is truly being honest, however my friends and family think differently. They think he’s just playing nice because of my looks. Jake has been nothing but nice to me for the pass two months since we bumped in to each other at my brother’s club. He’s constantly trying to get me to go out on a date with him, and I’m constantly telling him NO; when secretly kinda wanna go out with him to. He really seems like he has changed a lot and though I have not forgotten I forgive him. Jake treated me so badly all those years… now he treats me better then any guy has ever treated me in my life.
Should I give him a chance and go out with him or should I tell him to shove it???
Should I forgive and forget?
2007-01-11 20:38:49 · 9 answers · asked by Maria 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes I do believe that people can change and we can forgive but we will never forget our brains remember everything that's how they work and if you can remember kids can be the meanest group of human beings on the planet until they grow out of themselves. They don't care nor do they understand that what they say causes pain, real mental pain and a lifetime of memories. Outside of physical pain they don't understand until later on what mental pain is all about. Each of us must go that route! You may say "hay not me, I never did anything bad" but think back a little harder none of us are guilt free. It is the memories that teach caution and help to warn us when things could possibly go wrong, if we listen. However, you must remember that there has got to be room for forgiveness even though we don't forget because if we can't forgive a child's stupidity, a teens rebellion an adults inadequacies then we will never grow, we will never have peace and we will never find true happiness and joy in life. Hold on to the memory not the pain, keep the knowledge get rid of the garbage for there is a lot more in life to learn and the person who stops learning is the one who has no room for growth because of all the garbage he has dragged along with him throughout his life. You have a good outlook don't let others take away your gift of realizing that life is a learning process both good and bad. We have to learn it all. Life comes with hills and valleys. And by the way, good luck and always remember to smile and laugh each and every day of the rest of your life. However, I am in no way saying you should go out with the guy, use your own judgment but base it on today not yesterday or when you were a child.
2007-01-11 21:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by Yarborough51 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This made me think twice anyway I think dating him will be too much of a gamble because while some people can change some wont so which one is he? Fare enough he apologized several times but how can you grantee he wont do it again and most importantly will you ever be able to trust him. If I were you every little thing he said and do will make me think owe he is at it again.
Why not keep him as a friend and forget about it all. Guess what when u were little and vulnerable he read ur diary and knew how much u loved but how did he pay you back?????
The more I think about the stronger i feel you shouldn't give him a chance, after having a bad time at school now you deserve a better adulthood.
Good Luck.
2007-01-11 21:01:03 · answer #2 · answered by SMB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is hard...people are stupid in high school [weird, because i am in high school, LOL]
i think that everyone has the same 'base' personality, it's just that little tweaks and changes happen over the years. that, at least, holds true to most people i know. why not try going on a date or two, and if you don't like him, then no need to become a couple. however, you say that you changed physically? this makes me question this jake a bit...does he know your personality now any better than he did in the past?
yeah...i think that, if you aren't too horribly worried about your pride, go on a date or two with the guy and if you don't like him, or if he doesn't seem authentic, no need to become more than friends.
2007-01-11 20:45:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems like you want to go out with him. Do it, go out with him. Have you ever been in love? if not, then you will probably fall in love with him and he'll break your heart. It's ok, it has to happen to every girl (and guy I think too) eventually. You will think about him for years.
It just sounds like you really want to go out with him. I don't think anything anyone says on here will make you change your mind.
Also, he might not be the ****** he used to be. I used to be pretty mean to a lot of people in high school but I'm not that way now, not so much anyway. But I mean, who DOES make fun of people all the time once they're not in high school anymore? Mostly losers. So it's nothing special not to make fun of people anymore. Most people stop eventually.
I guess you have to answer this question for yourself.
2007-01-11 20:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by Montel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people change... life is a great teacher, people do learn to co-operate with others. what does not change is the basic quality of thinking and living which comes out clearly when the person has to make some hard choices.
as far as giving a person a chance is concerned i believe, if you are sure for once that the intention of the person behind any action that hurt you was good and no to hurt you ,you can always forgive the person. if the intention was bad there is no question of any more chances.
2007-01-11 20:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by k r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
from your story your love of him at a early stage of your life has not changed, even through all the hurt and pain he caused you he seems to have seen the error of his ways it is easy to make fun of people when your under so much peer pressure to fit in at school but once we are away from that. we seem to each go our own way and find our own meaning of life and happiness. i would test him to see if sex is his motive or if true love is in his heart. either way you win. since your such a hottie
2007-01-11 20:52:17 · answer #6 · answered by kiphyn b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im really sorry to say but u should make him shove it as deep as possible. all he sees in you now is a nice piece off A grade *** that he would like to..... who knows. im not even going to try and explain as i am a guy myself, and most guys think alike. take it from one with similar hormones and thought patterns. GIVE HIM THE BOOT
2007-01-11 21:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by Tertius 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Jake liked the attention you gave him even when you were younger .......hence, all the teasing.
Yes, it's possible that ppl can change.
Enjoy your fame now!
2007-01-11 20:48:44 · answer #8 · answered by Md_gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did'nt like u b4 the way u looked but he does now? Who cares what u looked like then & now. If he did'nt like the PERSON u were then he won't like you now. You sound like a nice person, find some1 who likes YOU.
2007-01-11 21:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by MJR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋