My husband and his ex girlfriend!!?

Question

My husband and I got married on May 20,2006 and before we got married his ex girlfriend would call his cell phone to talk to him I told her to stop calling but she didn't and than on top of that he told me that he wasnt going to call her but whenver she called him and he doesnt asnwer he would return her call after I told him not to and than he promised me that he wouldn't. My husband recieved a nude picture of couples having sex on his cell phone he knew about it for about a week I found out by going through his cell phone one night he said that it meant nothing than two weeks after we got married he told me the truth that she wanted to have an affair before he got married my husband doesn't want to be rude to his ex but when it comes confronting it to me he will say things that I dont like her but he still wants to talk to her after all this happened he would not do anything about it what should I do???

Answer 1

I would divorce the devious sucker and move on to greener pastures. But hey, that's just me..some people like being put in uncomfortable/weird/stressful situations. You know the right thing to do. Take care.

Answer 2

Well considering that you have already confronted the situation, and he has refused to blow her off, he's entertaining the idea of being unfaithful. He already knows you don't like her, because as a man he knows any woman doesn't like a third wheel, especially in a marriage. The problem is not that he doesn't want to be rude, but seems more that he doesn't care how you feel. Alot of men these days seem to have a problem with apathy towards their wives. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do that won't stand the risk of making him REALLY angry at you and possibly ruining relations between you, because he knows what he's doing is wrong. Don't be blindsided by it, keep in mind always that he's not a child. He knows the difference between right and wrong. Maybe you should confront him with that fact in words. Don't challenge him or start a fight, simply state to him that what he's doing is wrong, and disrespectful towards you, and it's really hurting you. Tell him how it makes you feel towards him. Try not to be angry or say mean things to him while doing this, say all of it with love and really from the heart. Men take things better that way, and if you've already fought over it...well...you know where that got you. If he blows you off again, then you should keep in mind that he wants this third wheel in the relationship, but he's innocent until proven guilty.

Answer 3

You guys are just newlyweds and he's already disrespecting you!!! You have to put an end to this before it gets worse and to prevent stuff like this happening later in the marriage. Tell him to change his cell number if he doesnt want to be rude to the ex. Give him an ultimatum its his ex or you. How do you know nothing is going on between them??? How do you know he's not lying. Check the phone records to see how often he really talks to her. This isnt the way to start a marriage. Marriage is about honesty and if you cant trust him well get rid of him. Good luck.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like the relationship between the x and your husband never ended before you got married. You asked "what should i do". It is not for "you" to do it is for "him" to do. Either he tells the x he is married and loves his wife and that the relationship between them is over and to stop contacting him. You could ask him to call the cell phone company and have his number changed or ask him to block her number on his cell phone. Either way he has to realize this is causing you a great deal of stress. If he refuses to take any action and encourages her to call by having conversations with her when she does ,then i think it is time for you to tell him either it's you or her!

Answer 5

Dealing with he ex is very hard. First i would take her number from his phone and call her up and i would tell her for the last time please stop calling my husband he is married now and we want to get on with our life and sorry but you are not a part of it.
Than i would sit my husband down and i would lay it on the line, He can stand up to her, change his phone number and the only way she can get the new number will be if he gives it to her
i would tell my husband that it is hard for you to trust him if this will contiune.
Take a stand honey he is your man. put that foot down leave him no choice if he loves you enough to marry you he will love you enough to tell this girl to take a hike...

Answer 6

It's reasonable for you to be upset, just so you know.
..Assuming that you do trust him.. please try to tell him that. Otherwise, it will be frustrating for both of you over time.
Again, assuming he is basically behaving well, the problem boils down to the fact that ..he's being a ..basically kind person. Since she is an ex, that means that at one time, he cared for her very much. Sometimes this wears off, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it comes and goes. Regardless of which case it is, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. It means that, at least for the time being, he would be sad to upset her.

It'll be difficult, but ..for one, ..do try to avoid snooping. Married though you may be, it would still be upsetting. You have to convince him to try to deal with the situation, ..but you have to understand that he would have to hurt someone he at least once cared about, in order to deal with it. The truth of the matter is that ...that's what it will take, and he has to come to terms with that. ..More than likely, it will not be helpful for you to push him unwillingly into it.
..I don't yet know what married life is, but ..even just being in a relationship, ..difficult times boil down to trust and support. Sometimes it's difficult and sometimes even unfair, to be trusting or supportive (such as when you're upset or even angry).

..try to distance yourself from it so you can think about it without getting too upset. be calm when discussing it, and keep in mind that ..he may be skittish about the whole thing 'cause it's uncomfortable and awkward, or he's a little hurt by it, and might shoot a few biting remarks your way. In any case, you have to approach it as a problem that needs to be solved, and do what needs to be done so that it IS solved. This will likely involve making compromises that are difficult, on both ends.
and try to stay away from "holier than thou" types of conversations, ..he probably knows, and it serves no purpose but to make him feel bad.

..and if or when he does manage to deal with it and cast her out of his life.. be kind. be grateful (even though you know it was your right to begin with) ...and try to make up for the friend he had to lose; make it worth it for both of you to spend your lives together.

best of luck, madame

Answer 7

seems as if he is doing nothing to discourage it, and she has no shame or compassion or respect for u. he is somehow encouraging it, and letting it happen. he isn't being fair to u, and u must not mean as much to him as u think. maybe since the marriage is so new, and u don't have that much invested in it, maybe u shouldn't invest in it. maybe u should get out now, before the children come, and u buy a home.he isn't as sincere as u are about his commitment to u, time to give him an ultimatum, don't excuse his bad behavior, confront it, and if u still get the same ole same ole, remove yourself from him, get rid of him, and get someone to love u, who hasn't got alot of baggage from the past.

Answer 8

u met an ex u made war path not love path u took the man indian love peace lol what got u hot is she in
a war path
call it out
it not right
grab that cell phone throw it out
no more calls
u got a man that better keep u


or it war in tangle 3 crowd it smoke signal get it out in the zone no more cell phone no more .... u get hints charge ya bulleyes u in control with ya zone ...ps be prepare to do what deep in the spirit u win when she moves on move on to another zone ...lol what place u can only hope love grows/// he need to decide who win


power is love

Answer 9

if this was happening to me personally I would divorce him and even before I would married him he would have to stop talking to her or I would of dumped him because I don't ever put that with crap like that BUT this is about you and you think differently because obviously you haven't dumped him like i would do lol well talk to him tell him AGAIN and speak CLEAR about how you feel about that and see what he says and does and if he still can't stop talking to his ex you can either let them be friends, ignore the situation or dump him!! sorry but I can't see many other choices.

Answer 10

Above all things, he should respect your feelings. You have expressed a concern and he should do his part to make it right. He needs to tell this girl to buzz off and if he truly had no interest in her he would not hesitate to do that. Its kind of unfortunate that you have already married him because it seems to me he is not totally committed to you. He needs to put you and your needs first and tell this pathetic woman to move on!