Detail she is 75 and has heart problems and had a lung removed last year. She wants alone time with the baby and I understand this but I'm nervous and worried that something might happen. I would be a nervous wreck leaving her there and my baby is only 5 months old and I am just not ready for her to be babysat by anyone. Problem is she won't stop asking for me to babysit and says she must babysit once a week, kind of a demand, how do I handle this?.
2007-01-11 19:53:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Oh hard one! I can see your point in worrying, I would be concerned myself. Just try putting it to your MIL in terms of you worrying that maybe the baby would be to taxing on her with her current medical conditions. That you don't want to see her get worn down by a demanding infant. I think that no matter what argument you use her feelings are going to be slightly hurt. I don't think it's going to be avoided but to help ease that, if you are comfortable with it, leave your child with her while you run quick 10-15 min. errands. That way you're not leaving your child for any length of time and grandma still gets a little time alone with the baby.
2007-01-11 20:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by cookiefactory4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR child, and you have to be the one to put your foot down and say *NO*. You can say it nicely, you can say it bluntly, but you really should say "NO!".
Bring the baby to her house and let he spend all the time she wants with the baby, but you need to stay there while she is having her visitations that way you know that your baby and your MIL are both safe.
This is not to be mean, it's for the safety of your baby.
What if your MIL has a health problem while she is ALONE with the baby? What if she passes out? Or even worse, what if she dies? (i hope not)
If any of these things should happen, then your baby would be left all alone, and would be hungry, would have a dirty diaper, and if the cops or an ambulance are called, then the baby would be reported and you could lose the baby temporarily. (awful situation)
So, just for safety, you need to be there while the visitations are taking place. But of course, let the MIL see her grandbaby all she wants!(just a monitored visitation) :-)
2007-01-12 04:00:33 · answer #2 · answered by Daft One 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would start out by letting her babysit for a short period of time while you run out and put gas in the car, go to the post-office, etc. Then as you feel more and more comfortable with it, work up to letting her babysit while you go shopping or even Christmas shopping. Then after that, have her babysit while you and your husband go out for the night.
Just take "baby-steps." Don't feel like you have to be rushed in to something as important as this. The MIL will also slowly get used to the feeling of watching a child again, since her son grew up. So it works out great for both you and the MIL.
Happy journies. =)
Sorry, I left out another important thing I wanted to mention.
Make sure to call and check up on both of them every now-and-then, too. It'll give you the comfort of knowing they're both okay.
2007-01-12 04:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by yitogwa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a 2 year old a one year old and about to have a baby in march.. and I have never let my Own mom babysit because I don't trust her... I have let my MIL babysit but I Will NOT EVER let her Drive with them or leave the House with them.. My mother in Law kept on and on about taking the kids out and driving with them and I asked my husband to tell her that I'm just not comfortable with that.... eventually, after about a year and half,, she stopped asking... you gotta stick up for yourself.. and your kid. I WOULD NOT LEAVE A baby ALONE WITH A 75 YEAR OLD..
2007-01-12 04:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by MADLYNN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her about your concerns & try to come to some compromise. Perhaps she could mind the baby at your house while you caught up on some other stuff around YOUR house. That way she gets baby time alone with bubs & you get stuff done but are also able to keep an eye on her. Best of luck, it's a tricky one.
2007-01-12 04:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by Mishell 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree that it isn't safe and would have the same concerns. I have a 4-month old who's great-aunt isn't even allowed to hold him, but her health problem is alcoholism, amongst other things.
Simply tell her your concerns. Pardon me for being blunt, but it's better to be thought rude than to have grandma smother baby son in the event of cardiac arrest. You mustn't let her talk you into doing something that you feel is unsafe.
2007-01-12 04:01:42 · answer #6 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are concerned about something happening to her while she is alone with your baby, then don't let her babysit unless someone else is there to call an ambulance or something. If she questions it explain it to her like that.
2007-01-12 04:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Her That Your not ready to leave the baby yet. Or you could let her keep the baby for say an hour while you go shopping or something.I Don't blame you.
2007-01-12 04:04:21 · answer #8 · answered by amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! This is a tough one. Only do what you're comfortable with. Tell her that you're not ready to leave your bay alone yet and that you know she wants to spend time with her, but you'd prefer to be there. What does your husband think? Perhaps he should talk to his mother!
2007-01-12 04:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask her to do something else, tell her you are not ready for a sitter. over 70 is too old to be babysitting for any long period of time.
2007-01-12 07:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by Andrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋