I have this friend (well, I can't call her that anymore since she's obviously not a friend) who asks a lot of favor for me and I do it for her (yeah, I'm not stupid).
Lately, I can't help but notice that when me and our other co-worker go out to have lunch or something like that, she really intentionally deliberately ignores me. She does it by talking to that other person with much enthusiasm and cheerfulness while she ignores me. When I try to start a conversation with her, she answered me with a very short sentence and with NO enthusiasm in her voice at all.
And when it's just the two of us having lunch together (without this other co-worker ), she hardly talks to me at all like she thinks I'm boring.
Sometimes life is really unfair. You invest by doing a lot of good things to a person and she treats you like trash.
I feel disappointed coz I always notice this patter in my other friends. When they’re with me, they don’t feel like talking and hardly starts a conversation. So I always end up trying to start a good conversation just so they wouldn’t think I’m boring and just so I could be close to them. But they look like they have NO enthusiasm in talking to me.
But when they’re with other people, even when the other people are quiet, they do all the talking with a lot of enthusiasm and the other people don’t even have to try to start a conversation., they just listen
2007-01-11 19:35:30 · 9 answers · asked by Mrs Brandon 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Gal... u are strong enough!! u can live without them being around u...
u jst do ur own work.. .. Jst pretend they are invisible wen u go for lunch and be alone...Mark my words sooner or later... they will come to chat with u..
Take care strong gal..
2007-01-11 19:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by sUnseT 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that was a lot to swallow in one seating so to speak. U my dear have one of two choices confronting u at this moment.
One, to stand proud of ur self and pick up ur self esteem, by choosing better so called friends or eating companions. If ur co-worker is like u describe her then why do u subject ur self to her outrageous company while having lunch. Then complain that she treated u like she always does, as if u didn't exist or in ur words "boring".
Two, U can continue this senseless behavior and continue to be just a body to have lunch with when her other friends and co-workers don't have time for her or u can find other co-workers to eat lunch with or eat alone. My mother had a saying, "Better alone than mal-accompanied." No one should be subjected to rudeness and that is the type of co-worker u have before u a rude person who doesn't know the word friend.
As for doing "so many favors for her she sees u as a wimp and a chump and so she will continue to use u as long as u allow her to. Shoo if I had a (and yes u r stupid) friend like u I'd used them as far as they allowed me to also.
Some people deserve or enjoy being used and being walked over. R u one of these types we call "door mats" or r u a caring sensitive type who can be assertive when she has to be? Get some spine and lose the loser u sound intelligent and I would love to have the pleasure of ur company at lunch and any other time. God bless u child and do what u have to do or take the punishment without uttering a word of complaints since that is what U choose.
Then of course there is another possibility that u r secretly jealous of her and her ability to be the life of the party when she's around her other friends and coworkers and u wish it was u getting all the attention instead of her. Hmmmm. Which is it? Strong and better off without her or Jealous cuz it could be u instead of her getting attention?
2007-01-11 20:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, well, you said it - this case is pretty clear. But like you said, the problem is bigger.
What sets off the alarm for me is your saying "You invest by doing a lot of good things to a person and she treats you like trash." Stop investing, stop trying so hard. This toatlly doesn't work, because you end up "working" on wrong people.
Just take some appreciation in yourself. Appreciate yourself first. Others will start appreciating you later.
If you are a nice person - you will find new better friends. Just don't look at them as an investment.
2007-01-11 21:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by Everybody's Favorite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in a similar case with me. you both need to sit down and talk about what you are feeling. Usually when things are brought up, people try to fix it. Now if you both have a talk and she fully understands how you feel and does nothing to fix the situation, you are clearly not friends anymore and it's time to move on to other people. She has made her choice by then. Good Luck.
2007-01-12 01:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think that you can't win them all. In life you win some and you lose some.
You just keep the good ones and for the bad ones they can kiss your butt goodbye.
2007-01-11 19:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by Rod 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would realize that he or she wasn't a friend and keep them away from me
2007-01-11 19:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by bobby h 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ohh wellllll... that would be difficult...have you ever listen to yourself?? it might be that you just don't notice that there MIGHT be a misunderstanding with what you are talking...check it out and observe
2007-01-11 19:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by milkee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first thing i would do is to take her name off of my list of "friends"
2007-01-11 19:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by mickey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
kiss her
2007-01-12 01:58:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋