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That depends greatly on the relationship of he couple in question. For some couples, it's nothing but cons. You are fighting against yourself, and the harder you run from and fight yourself, the more enormous your problems seem to be. For example, if you truly can't stomach the thought of seeing your spouse pleasing or being pleased by someone else, barging ahead with swinging will result in nothing but disaster and heartache.

If it's done the right way, and for the right reasons, there are very few cons, and the pros are fantastic!

Pros:
-Increased intimacy in the marriage
-More and better sex...with your spouse.
-Stress relief
-Sharing a "secret" with your spouse.
-Increased self-esteem (from knowing you are secure enough to give your spouse this gift)
-Enriched sense of and appreciation for sexual self
-Improved social skills
-Vastly improved communication skills
-Mental and emotional "toughness"...as opposed to frailty...the ability to remain objective and not allow emotion to cause you to make poor decisions.
-Complete freedom from jealousy
-Complete trust and confidence in your spouse, as they have actively demonstrated their trustworthiness to you.
-No longer allowing sex to define your relationship, the quality or quantity of the love therein, or the determination of its failure or success.
-New friends
-FUN! and adventure...remembering how to play like you were in kindergarten again.
-Laying on your death bed with a heartful of beautiful memories and no regrets.

Cons (Best case scenario):
-You no longer "fit in". It's really difficult to sympathize with friends who still bemoan their husband's wandering eye, because you find it a turn on rather than something harmful.
-Sometimes you find out some things you wish you hadn't. That's a risk that is unavoidable when you take the leap toward radical honesty with one another.
-STDs. Yes. They exist, and they're scary. However, once we did the research, we decided that our risk was extremely low considering our standards of practice (getting to know our partners, using condoms, sticking with honest couples with strong relationships, and avoiding anonymous group sex scenes as that's just not our thing anyway). When you think about it, the couples we're talking about are otherwise pretty conservative. They're not out skulking around sleazy bars looking to hook up with whatever crack whore will spread for them.
-Hatred and misunderstandings from those who feel they know better, but who have no experience on which they base their wildy extreme opinions.

Cons (Worst case scenario):
-You ask questions that you don't really want answers to...but now that they've been asked, they DEMAND an answer. The reality of your relationship's health can no longer be denied. This has earned swinging the nickname Pandora's Box.
-Unequal interest (one partner dragging the other through the lifestyle)
-Obsession with sex. This is not a normal or natural by-product of swinging. The ideal outcome is the realization that WE control our sexuality, not the othe way around, and that the key to a happy sex life is moderation and balance.
-Emotional and mental scarring from trying to push one's self forward when one is unready for it. This leads to...
-Resentment towards one's spouse. This in turn leads to...
-Inevitible decay of the relationship.

PLEASE do your homework thoroughly before jumping in! You'll thank your lucky stars that you did, whatever you decide.

2007-01-15 17:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by intuition897 4 · 0 0

Never have, no people who have, it's a fantasy for some. Pro: self esteem stimuli, fantasy fulfillment, basically, do what feels right to you and your mate. Cons: you and your mate will break up, diseases, embarrassment if your family or community find out.

It's a personal choice. Just be safe and make sure you and your mate truly want to explore. You can always set up a meeting in a public place and talk and go from there. I've heard the Internet is a good way to start a friendship and find out if another couple could be a good match. In other words it's like dating again!!

2007-01-12 03:17:35 · answer #2 · answered by samfarriss 1 · 0 0

We swing. The pro's are having physical fun with other couples to spice up your own sex life. The con's are jelousy and losing sight of the agreed boundaries you have with your spouse and losing sight of the difference between swinging and cheating. Some men and women somehow rationalize that if you have sex with other people while you are together then it is ok to cheat and have sex with another while your partner is not there. They rationalize that is is ok because you swing together. Also, some swingers like to be "friends". This means you are allowing others to be part of your life. If you are going to swing i feel it is important to maintain a safe emotional distance from the people you swing with. Also, i have found that men seek to be with a woman who looks younger and is in better shape than the wife and if that persons husband is fat and bald and not attractive the man will say "hey honey this looks like a couple who'd be a good match for us". Swinging is not about fulfilling ones fantasies, it is about sharing the healthy sexual relationship you ahve with your spouse with others on a physical level. Once you swing it changes your relationship. There is alot of reading material on the subject. You can find mountains of articles online. There are "how to swing" guides you can find online too. My husband and i have been swinging for almost our whole relationship and to be honest i wish we never had. It is clear to me that I have never been enough for my husband.

2007-01-12 07:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by denise b 2 · 0 0

If you are both into it, meaning it is both of your fantasy to explore you sexuality together, and neither of you are the jealous type... than it is all pros and no cons.

If one of you is "manipulating", "coercing", or "convincing" the other to do it, than there might be some issues that come up.

Pros:

• More and better communication.
• Removal of petty jealousy from your relationship.
• You fall in love like two teenagers, again.
• More honesty in your relationship.

Cons:

• Can't think of any if all the previous rules are followed.

For good information about this and other swinger issues, check-out The Swingers Board. It's a free site dedicated to discussions regarding swinging, open relationships, and polyamory.

2007-01-14 23:03:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

To be very honest with you, there are absolutely no pros to swinging. The Bible says that Marraige is sacred, holy, and between two persons (man and wife- male and female). When you said "I Do" to your wife or husband, you made a covenant with God himself to honor your husband or wife. Swinging will ultimately bring strife, disloyalty, and disease to your marraige.

You do not need another person to excite your sex life withing your Marraige. Seek the face of God and He will restore all passion inside of you towards your significant other.
God Bless
I really hoped this help-it is the truth.

2007-01-12 03:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by butterrum28 5 · 0 0

Swinging is fun. I use to do it back when I was a kid. The cons are falling off when you get really high and then breaking a bone.

2007-01-12 02:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

well pros there is always a variety and you are never stuck with just one and of course it is fun. But the downside is if you are in a serious relationship with someone who is a swinger also i.e. wife and they get attached to someone that you have invited to be in the bedroom with you two, you just lost that person. I have seen it first hand

2007-01-12 02:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by b 1 · 2 0

YOu tell me, I' ve never done it. I would think it would be hard to ever look at my spouse again knowing we both had slept with somone else. I would think my spouse didn't respect me if he, she didn't mind I had sex with a stranger. There are the cons, I can't think of any pros.

2007-01-12 02:50:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

pro Sexual peaks like never before.

Cons Aids, syphilis ,herpes, to mention a few

2007-01-12 02:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by xxgq 4 · 1 1

theres cons ?

2007-01-12 02:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by snoogans 5 · 0 0

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