any of you woman who may read my question who has been abused bye your partner please help me to help my sister she is in the ICU tonight in the hospital her boy friend beat her badly and its not the first time he has done this .she had surgery 2 months ago to remove a blood clot from her brain . she stayed in the hospital for allmost one month for this . she won't admit it but i think he did something to her that time to cause the clot on her brain . i am scared he will kill her if she does not get away from him. but he allways talks her into coming back to him . i have talked to her about this and ask her to please not go back to him . me and our family have cryed pleaded and begged her but she allways does . i think she goes back maybe out of fear of him . i don't know i have never had an abusevise b/f or husband. can anyone who has been abused please help me to say something to her to help or to understand her more.
2007-01-11 17:28:29 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well a controlling husband only thinks about himself and will blame your sister for everything because he is mad at himself usually from a manifested abusive childhood. Pray for him! Abuse can be mental,physical or spiritual. Either one is bad, and that is the difference! If you believe in your Lord Jesus Christ, then tell your sister to see a priest with her husband and address his problem. If he can admit that this is a problem and get help for his mental,physical and spiritual bondage. Yes, there is hope he might be able to change. But, act fast! Please tell your sister that it is not her fault! and there is nothing that she did to make him act this way! Usually, it is something that happened in peoples past that makes them act out in certain situations like I state before! So many woman think before they get married, they think to themselves that they can change their future husband even know they see the warning signs, IT NEVER WORKS!!! Pray for him and your sister and try to encourage your sister get professional and spiritual help Now! In Addition, Tell Her to Think about these questions:1. Does he love you for who you are (inside first than out)? The Bible says: *“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
2. Does he honor you? Will he do things just to make you happy? Will he try some of the things you are interested in or maybe shares some of the same interests and hobbies? The Bible says:
* “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10
3. Cherishes your body, mind and soul? Doesn't go to far on these things until your ready? The Bible says: * “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
4. You trust him to the fullest? He is your best friend and you are his? The Bible Says: * “ Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7
5. You communicate well? He understands you like he could be your twin? The Bible says: * “ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29. Maybe just maybe when your sister reconfirms what love is and what love is not she will have a reality check and know what he does to her is not Right! I will have you and your sister and her husband in my prayers. God Bless
2007-01-11 19:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my own daughter Susan, stayed in an abusive marriage, think because she had such a low self worth, and didn't have the courage to leave. he kept beating her, we kept rescuing her, finally one day we told her not to call us the next time he did it, we were disgusted, and told her we could do no more. finally the nest time she was beaten, he inflicted scratches on himself, and called police first, she was the one put in jail, never even touching him, she finally had had enough and divorced the creep. but it took a long while, your sister has been beaten down so much by him, she has no self respect. get her some therapy first, and eventually she will get out of this when she realizes she is not to blame for it. abused women feel that somehow they deserved the hurt, that they can't get anyone else, and of course they are going to fear the future, as they have no self esteem, they can't see the future. they are weak, and their ego is fragile. get her some therapy first. offer her a safe place to live, show her there is a way out of it.
2007-01-12 08:49:02 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear as much as I sympathize with you, it is up to your sister to want to leave her partner. I was in an abusive relationship for 9 years, I have had every single bone broken on my body, my mouth was wired and rubber banded for 3 months, and I have had 3 miscarriages during that time.
The only thing I can tell you is show your sister a picture of herself before and after each time he abuses her. Call the police, be willing to go with her to counseling, but whatever you do do not insist she makes a decision, this will only drive her back to him. It could be fear that holds her, volunteer to go to self defense classes with her, at least she could defend herself.
He sounds like my ex and has soon as your sister learns to fight back or speak up for herself the sob coward will stop. He only has power because she is allowing him to have it.
2007-01-12 02:19:30 · answer #3 · answered by crazeebitch2005 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call me, I have a beautiful Smith and Wesson for sale, that hasn't been fired yet. He sounds like the perfect object for target practice.
2007-01-12 01:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
bad situation... it is her choice though. i dont know where you live, but in tx the state presses charges when the women dont. after all this, she stays. crazy. my heart goes out to her. maybe you could take her away. just for awhile to see that life is not supposed to be like that.
2007-01-12 01:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no understanding such. Only she may be able to answer, providing she lives long enough to tell you.
2007-01-12 01:36:15 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋