O.k. so this is a very free verse type of poem... no iambs and stuff at least not intentionally... just want to know what you think..?
The Coming...
An excitement masked by clouds,
sweet but not yet here,
anticipated with the air of uncertainty,
foreseen but not fulfilled,
like the message of good news
which only the messenger keeps
closed in his heart,
yet running, rushing towards bursting
of the inner hidden bloom.
The light one of a constant dawn
or dusk
for that matter.
A time of twilight;
the perfect mood.
Not dead but not yet born either.
The peak of potential.
Fulfillment or doom.
2007-01-11 17:28:08 · 9 answers · asked by Karo 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
It reminds me of one of those romance novels on sex and lust and impending doom. I like it. But i cant help but feel you are holding back more emotion and passion in the poem. Do you ever draw a picture first and then write a poem on top of it? I do , weird i know, and this poem makes me see purple background with leaves and grapes of fallen vines. I see a dark sky on the horizon and a piercing sun in the distant clouds. Man you just inspired me to draw this vision. Good luck with your poems and keep delving deeper into yourself for more great inspirations.
2007-01-11 17:35:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not a master in poetry but ur poem is really good but i feel you have the potential to do even better
all the best 4 the next one!
2007-01-12 05:26:54 · answer #2 · answered by FARAH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The light one of a constant dawn or dusk confused me until I read it a couple times....but I think its sincerely deep.
2007-01-12 01:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really like this.....its very cool n romantic too....the way u have attributed the poem sounds great..and also the use of comparison makes the poem more good....a nice job...
2007-01-12 01:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by pavithra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo!
2007-01-12 01:37:18 · answer #5 · answered by charley128 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. Good job!
2007-01-12 01:33:48 · answer #6 · answered by Rat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually like it
2007-01-12 01:33:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice !!
2007-01-12 01:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by devon . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AWSOME!!!!!!
2007-01-12 01:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by Josh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋