I NEED HELP, can someone give me advice!!!?

Question

well here's my problem I cant stop over thinking. I over think on everything even on the little things. It makes me worry about what other people think of me and I get depressed over it. I want to change and take control of my life. I just have no control and I look at this one website every day and it has a daily horoscope and is always predicts my day for me. the thing is that if it tells me I have a bad day, I turn into a pessmit. I get more stressed out and depressed. I just cant seem to control of my life for the last couple of months. I've been getting getting less sleep and starting to eat less and my grades starting to fall. I have a family who loves me and been goood to everyone around me. I believe in god and havent done anything like alchol, drugs or been on a date. can someone help

im 15
in grade 10
im chinese
been a active person and in good shape

Answer 1

First off, don't worry about what other people think about you. just live a life that would make your friends and family proud of you, their opinions should matter the most. to tell the truth, you're probably never going to see all the other kids in high school after you graduate. but your family and close friends will stay with you in the long run.

secondly, stop basing your day on your daily horoscope. i find it hard to believe that some stranger can pinpoint my entire day for me. i'm heavy into astrology and i follow the personality traits more than anything else, but the day to day forecasts are complete shite.

it sounds like you need to find somethin to occupy your time, maybe write poetry, play chess or basketball, pick up an electric bass guitar, etc. find somethin that you like to do, that will get your mind off of yucky feelings. if you go thru your day, and still hav a shitty one, you can look forward to your hobby. shitty day solved.

there's nothing wrong about over-thinkin, but remember your 15. life is good rite now, you don't have any bills, you don't have any legal problems, you don't have a girlfriend that bugs you, etc. just hang out with your friends and continue to not do drugs/alcohol. go out on a date, it won't hurt : )

seriously, all you have to do right now is just go to school, do well, do great in college, find a dope job, get married and have kids. life's easy, don't make a habit of overcomplicating it.

Answer 2

You are 15!!!! You are a teenager , you are supposed to feel exactly like that. It is at or around this age that we all struggle with these very same thoughts and it is the manner in which you resolve your fears and insecurities that shape the adult you will soon become. Some people turn to drugs and alcohol, some give in to peer pressures and some find an inner strength they did not realize they had. They become decisive independent thinkers and often become leaders in their school and home life. Throughout our lives we have periods of change. We learn to walk, talk read and spell, ride a bike, drive a car etc... These are voluntary changes but also instinctive ones. They were challenges neccesary only to grow as a person not to survive but no less important. The changes you are facing now are not as easy for you to evaluate because you are at a very stressfull period of your life. You can rest assured that everyone has had similar experiences, but not the same results. The world is full of sad stories of people who never rode a bike or learned to read or drive a car, never went on a date or graduated high school. At some point when faced with the challenge, they gave in . They decided the result wasn't worth the risk and life passed them by. You are meant to do something great, we all are. We are meant to do what we can and be what we can on our own terms not some internet horoscopes terms. Your family should be your source of strength because they are part of you and you of them. You are not alone in any challenge you face if you keep your family close so when you stumble there is sure to be someone there to help you up. Set small goals for yourself, ones that are easy to achieve. With each achievment you will feel better about yourself and natural instinct is to try something harder. Little by little things will change. Chose a hobby, many things we enjoyed as a kid we lose interest in as a teenager and it leaves a void that we don't realize needs to be filled. Excersise, it's a great stress reliever. Just remember that 15 is a tough age for everyone. You are not expected to have all the answers yourself. Know that you WILL make mistakes and you will be forgiven by people who love you. You have to crawl before you can walk, run, ride or drive. Self confidence will come in time, step by step until before you know it you are a quick thinking, decicive, self assured young adult that still gets nervous, and angry and shy and sad. It's normal... It's human...

Answer 3

Woah kiddo woooooah. *pulls on reins*

first off trust me on this ok. your 15 and right now bud everything seems like its flying out of control. but believe me its just a mtter of will.

theres a time honored saying. " stop and smell the roses."

literally do that. stop where you are in a safe spot. close your eyes, and take a deep breath. then with your eyes closed listen.thats it. just listen. to the wind, the rain, to anything but the hustle and bustle.

when you do that youll feel a worlds different. As to over thinking things well its hard not too sometimes. but in the end you just have too. theres an old military acronym that may help. its this.

K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) it means why complicate what can be a simple choice. when your hungry what do you do? simnple you eat.

when your thirsty. You drink.

when your sleepy you rest.

see simple no hard thoughts needed.

As to astrology, take it from someone that believes in the supernatural. astrology like most fortune teeling systems is best taken in measured doses and as a GUIDE not a you must do this. remember horoscopes are highly subjective and can mean any of a multitude of things.

you need to keep a positive attitude as much as possible. things can be bleak I know. but in the end if you work hard and just keep breathing and smelling the roses. youll make it.

As a last resort. if you still find yourself running all crazy. try a couple of things.

first try a martial arts class, or yoga, or tai chi. these activities can help to provide focus and discipline which can help you get self control over your life.

or please speak with a councelor either at school or at a doctors office. the thoughts you have about being out of control are very common espeically for a young man your age. but believe me you have more control then you think.

good luck. ok.

Answer 4

Dear Joho,
You helped me so i am writing this:

We both are 15 thats why i know whats the problem with you
u start overthinking because its our age to over think.
Dont think or worry about what other people think of you. You should be cool and stable. You should never think so much. The more you think the more u will be tensed. Astrology and their predictions are never 100% true they are only 5 % true. Stop visiting those sites.
You should always be what you are.
I also used to check my day on daily predictions and i found them sick so i chucked it out and the same you shud do that.
You should always be frank and always try to be happy, Never try to think too much on a particular topic just think a little bit and if the suggestion still doesnt comes in your way then you should not get upset but in instead u should get happy and get challenging to face that problem.
Try to be what you are. Just do it and be cool.
Take care of your health, eat in routine and sleep well.
Hope i was helpfull to you too
by the way thankxx for your answer to my question.
Good LUCK!!!!!

Answer 5

Sweetie you need to relax.

Take life as it comes. Who cares what people think about you. They don't do it very often (think that is). Some days are bound to be rough. You just need to take it all in your stride.

Life is full of bad days and good days.

Here's a tip. Focus on one goal. For example given that you are in the 10th grade, you might choose to make finishing your schooling with top marks your goal. That's good. Keep your eye on that goal until you have achieved it. Then find something else you want to achieve, and do the same for that.

Sometimes you will have more than one goal to focus on at any one time. That's good too. Just don't lose that focus.

Here is a quote I read years ago; "Obstacles are those things that appear when you lose sight of your goals"

Let me explain this for you. If you lose sight of what you want out of life, you will end up worrying about the all the small things in life, and just make yourself sick with worry.

When you make a goal for yourself. Write down what that goal is. Next write down what steps you need to take in order to achieve that goal. Then start taking those steps.

After you have made each step, congratulate yourself, because that means you are one step closer to your goal.

I made the mistake of not rewarding myself for each littel step I took. I ended up getting really depressed and contemplating suicide, cause I felt like I was not getting anywhere.

Please don't make this same mistake. Be proud of who you are, and what individuality you bring into this great big world of ours.

Best of luck for the future.

Answer 6

Dear

Good and Energetic peoples are always has this problem of over thinking., This is due to over confidence of us and more beliving the others, u should not belive others at any circumstances wherever u have 2 act individually.

Don't think the past, it will create some bad feelings and worries in present and it will spoil ur future.

The society (means ur colleagues, friends, etc.,)
is a dracula of sucking blood, it will depends u when u r in good condition, if you lay down nobody will turn on u , even good friends too, so please, please, please., don't belive any body. it creates expectation if your expectation is not fulfilled u are getting angry and worry.

The body is ur's u have to eat to live, if any of others have food ur hungry will not fulfill,
so u have to earn money, if money is there all is there, if not,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, nothing will happen, no body will support.

Take meditation, try to be calm at maximum times, don't argument, keep smiling, don't listen any other bad things happen in the society

Answer 7

you actually sound like me. haha. thing is, you must take control of your life and the way you think. over thinking isn't the problem. it's disecting every part of the "what if's" that are bad. realize that doing this does create worries then depression then you physically and mentally reacting and these are not good. course i'll be eating my words later because i am much the same way. thing is to just breathe. relax. focus on what is real and true in front of you. it is good to think and analyze things, but don't stretch yourself thin and disect every bit of your life into nothing. try to keep yourself positive by proving to yourself that you are worthy. there is no one more important to you than YOU. take care of yourself as though you would take care of someone else.

Answer 8

Firstly, don't read (or believe) the horoscopes: realize if you think pessimistically it will show in your body language and more cause people to treat you badly (much like an animal showing fear and, upon doing so, being recognized as prey by another animal...so it's only by this coincidence the horoscopes "work").

Secondly, don't feel guilty about things like dating or bad grades. When you are depressed, even if you are a genious, your physical energy and ability to think and concentrate (and study) becomes quite small no matter how hard you try...and very few peers care about your grades as long as you show them you have interesting hobbies/talent and/or are funny (which let's them know you are smart even with bad grades).
People (outside your family) likely won't dislike you for bad grades or dating, they are more likely to dislike you for being boring, even if/when you have great grades and refuse dates. Do dating and studying for yourself, not for other people...and you will get much better at both and much less depressed.

It's also often good to give yourself excuses for any "insults" or things people may think badly of you. The first step is to work on your talents, things you are either very good at, very passionate about, or both.
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I often think people think of me as a weak personallity because I have a rounder face (as opposed to sharper, more masculine looking one) and am a small build.

But I tell myself...who cares, even in the odd case some strong/big guy approaches me expecting me to, say, let them and their girlfriend cut me in line by pushing me, I'd just push back and say something like "I'm not moving, and if you want to know something about my strength, race me (running...which I'm very good at) and then try to call me a wimp with a straight face".

The trick is
A) To assume it's unlikely someone will push you around or think of you badly unless you give them a reason...
B) To know you have many talents and figure, on the odd case someone tries to tell you that thinking of you badly is justified, take a talent you have and let them know that your attitude is not one of someone who lets others take control of their lives...and they need to move on and find a different person to bully.

Note, in society, usually just being a "good person" is far from enough. What people think of you is what good/fun/creative things you do for the world (including skewed things like social humor and sexual talent) minus what you do that is bad (IE taking advantage of people).

In other words, say if you do perfectly at not being bad, you get -0 points (no penalty, as opposed to up to -50 if you have done bad)....but if you do almost nothing good/exciting you get +10 points, which gives you 10 points.
Compare this to a guy who, say, often skips dates with his girlfriend for parties (-15 points for being bad) but is a great lover and is very surprising with humor (+40 points for being exciting), and he's 25 points, more than twice as likable overall as the "nice/being-good guy".



I've been there man, especially back when I went to High School, and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 9

Nobody can help you in here.You need a professional help.I was in a situation like that.I felt like i had to help everybody and i did.I went out of my way to help people.It was too much for me but i couldn't stop.I am better after a session with a shrink.But i still do things that i don't have to.