after a week of marriage she showed me her real face.... she did many bad things to me... lie, rude, ... I gave her many chances and at the end I divorced her though she didn't want to..... My problem now I feel that she played with me and wasted my time and provocated the divorce .... at the court she brought a man with her and told me on the phone that he's her friend...... that hurted me too much and I cant forget that scene..... please what should I do? I think of revenge but its senseless..... Ihate her too much and that hurts me and let me think about her and about what she did to me..... I am really in trouble... who can explain to me my situation and what should I do...??????
2007-01-11 17:06:28 · 11 answers · asked by S_M_A_R_T_Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I'm glad that you are being honest in your feelings. However, you have the choice of whether these emotions control you or you control the emotions.
Tell me, is it really worth it to stay angry. Yes, she hurt you and you didn't deserve that hurt. But what I encourage you to do is to forgive her.
Because forgiveness makes you a better person than the other. Unforgiveness only makes you bitter.
I'm not sure about your religion, but here is how I learn how to forgive others.
I pray and ask God to help me.
I tell him that I am sorry for this anger
Then I ask him to heal my heart (after all, he forgave me for my sins and for everyone's sins).
Then I ask him to replace that anger with love.
If something triggers that anger once again, I just turn it back to God.
2007-01-11 17:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by Searcher 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seek counseling to tackle your issues with her and see if that helps!!! Sometimes it isn't so much of what you should do to fix the problem then it is for you to work on moving on in your life and letting it go. That is the best way to get over the hurt is to move on and I know that isn't easier said then done but I mean you have to find the strenght from somewhere otherwise this can consume you and ruin your life in so many ways you can't even imagine!! I missed out on living 4 years of my life for a situation similar to yours and now years later I realize that it wan'st worth the time and thought I put into thinking about him.. Needless to say he is right here with me at this day and time so move forward and count your steps until you are so far past this that it is not a thought but a shadow in your mind meaning you could care less about her and her ignorance because what goes around comes around so if she did you wrong then trust me her day in the hot seat is coming!!!
2007-01-12 01:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jazzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it hurts cos she hurt u and u didn't hurt her back. so it is like she played with u, damaged u, used u and remained untouched. some people say let it go, karma will get her, i don't believe in it. if someone hits u u hit back. no use to sit and wait for karma revenging for her bad dids. i don't know how can u get her and make her feel miserable and used, but there is always the way. u just need to use your brains and concoct some subtle but very vicious way of revenging, the main point should be she is all calm and relaxed, forgot about u and then bam! she got something really bad happening to her. after u revenge and will know that she is suffering it will stop hurting u and u even forget what was your ex wife's name
2007-01-12 01:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Meaning you got married without knowing each other that much, you were surprised of her behavior & you were disappointed. Frankly i can relate to that.. and it gave me a big lesson that you have to know the person first before getting into marriage. BUt that case is already water under the bridge, you are very hurt because you can not accept what she's doing to you and because you still love her. You know, we can't have all the things we wanted, we have to accept that even marriage or a beloved person that do something terrible to you because they can not hurt us if we don't have a feelings for them. For now, it's normal to feel the pain but you'll see, as times goes by you'll realized that it you're still alive. You don't deserve that kind of woman, i think you're a nice person and i know you'll find another one soon. get time to heal, accept that you can not save the marriage alone. enjoy life...good luck
2007-01-12 01:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by JANE G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my wife did the same thing to me to and the only thing you can do is for get about her leave for a while go to a other state and chill out and find your self a other women then if you can do this your feeling you have about your e- wife well go away.and the hurt you feel well go to.but you really need to stay away from her and have absolutely no contact with her at all and every thing you have that bring back though of her throw it in the garbage and if you are still living in the same place were you 2 were living move out get in to different place.you need to change your life and your friends that you 2 had together.
2007-01-12 01:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get help. it seems although divorced your ex wife still has some control over your life. But that is not her fault, we control how things affect us, so the ball is really in your ct. Put your marriage down to a bad investment we all can do those, learn from it and move on.
2007-01-12 01:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really love her still.Your bitterness is Eating you up alive. Tell her you need real closure, Ask her if you could go to a few therapy sessions to help you get through such an ugly divorce. So it helps take the edge off of the expeience and not such sour notes.....
2007-01-12 01:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by CARAMIA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it hurts you to see her with another guy just think of it this way. He might marry her someday and he's going to need someplace to turn to when she shows her true self. Start a support group for guys who married her. I have a feeling there will be a lot of members.
Don't be hating her. You decided to get married too and you decided to hang on for her to change. Take it as a learning experience and move on.
2007-01-12 01:28:11 · answer #8 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you need is to move on with someone New.It will hurt even though ,but eventualy you will get over it.Show her that you dont care for her because if she knows that u are hurt More power to her right?.Let her know that she was a mistake,and that you are moving on with something Better.
2007-01-12 02:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to mend a broken heart is with a new love..
Move on..
2007-01-12 01:22:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋