I don't feel like I'm ready to be an adult?

Question

I am 17 and still in highschool. Soon I will be turning 18, graduating, probably going to college, and then getting a job that I'm not really interested in. I don't know how to pay bills, or write checks, I don't know anythign about politics, I'm not particularly GOOD at anything, really.

So my question is to any adults out there, before you went out to live on your own, did you know how to pay bills, write checks, how to get an apartment, how to pay for the apartment (literally how to pay for it, can you just give it to the owner). These are just a few examples, but just anytghing have to do on their own. I'm really tired and I didn't write this very well so I hope its not confusing. Thanks

Answer 1

I thought I knew all there was to know about everything at 17, so you're already a step ahead.

I did know how to cook, clean and take care of my personal needs. I also had a job and was required to buy my own car and take care of the expenses that came along with it. But I was woefully unprepared for the real world at 18. Luckily, I did a great deal of maturing in college. I had to learn to budget not only my money, but also my time between work, studies and life. During that time I also learned that nobody will hold your hand and help you through the tough times. You've got to commit to being successful on your own.

I wouldn't stress too much about the world around you, but you may want to ask your parents or someone else you trust about managing money, writing checks, paying bills, etc. Later, your credit score will become the most important number in your life. Many teens do not realize the value of making payments on time and not getting in too deep financially. The results can be devastating in the future.

As for the apartment and payment terms, etc. Every case is different. Some owners handle their own rent while others operate through a management agency. When the time comes, you will undoubtedly be surrounded by other people in the same boat as you. Team up with them, share information and seek the advice of other people you trust. Pay close attention to what they tell you, then ask someone else and make your own decision. That's how you learn. It's scary, but quite rewarding when you get it right. Everything works out in the end and the worst that can happen is you mess up...but you'll learn from it.

Worrying needlessly just zaps your energy so that when things do come up, you'll be too exhausted to deal with them effectively. Help is all around you so don't be afraid to ask for it.

Answer 2

I really believe none of us feel like adults inside. I am an adult, have an adult job, etc, but, man, do I still feel less adult-like than my parents were at my age. Much of it is perception. I think it will be great for you when your older and need to be young at heart!

What you need to learn are basic life skills. Half my adult friends don't have all the life skills you listed so you are doing a good job by being proactive. Here is some advice from an unadult adult.

1) go with an adult and open a bank account if you haven't already. It is very easy and your local branch will be more than happy to have your business. When you are 18 you can turn this into your own account with checking, so you'll already have a start. Do not be embarrassed to ask the new accounts person how to write proper check. I worked for a bank for years and it is a smart question. They will love you for asking because it means less errors for them down the road. Writing checks is simple, the hard part is keeping very careful track of when you write checks so you don't overdraw your account or bounce a check. Having a checking account will help you get an apartment.

2) getting an apartment. if you are the renter you will sign a lease or a rental agreement with the landlord. When you sign the lease you give them a check for the rent and usually a security deposit. Read the lease carefully and try to follow the rules. Walk through the apartment with your landloard and document any prior damage or repairs needed prior to signing the lease. This protects you when you move out. For example, you walk through and notice something damaged, your landlord cannot hold your responsible for that damage since it was not caused by you. Pay your rent on time and if you can notify your landlord well in advance so you don't get a bad rental history. Also, consider roommates if your going to college or even student housing for one semester. It is less of an overwelming transition in terms of adult responsibilities.

3) getting a part time job in a certain area that typically employs students can help with the bills. try something unique like working in a coffee house or a bank or art store. Something that you can build experience in while you figure out what to study in college to become an adult.

4) paying bills. use your school calendar or whatever youngin's use to keep track of life and put your bills as due at least 5 days beforehand as a reminder. That gives you enough time to scrape up the money, write a check, mail it or pay via the internet. You don't want to be late on bills.

5) you may need a co-signer or a deposit to set up cable or ulitilies for the first time you rent a place. Usually not a large amount, but you should check into that. Ask your parents, they will know what it costs to sign up.

6) phone--same as above unless you have a cell phone. Cell phones are good if you have roommates because fighting over the phone bill is a major annoyance.

7) if you live near a college, look at their off campus housing list online. It is free and a resource for finding different living situations.

8) laundry is important. learn how to do it; try to wash your sheets and stuff regularly, You'll feel more adult if you do that. I'm not sure why except I associate a messy room full of laundry as a sources of my lack of adultness!

Lastly, you have already done a very adult thing by asking for advice on all this stuff. That is responsible and smart. You are ahead of a lot of 17 year olds. Enjoy your time right now. Enjoy your first year of college. Be responsible, but don't worry about the definition of adulthood. When someone has the correct definition for society it will be on headline news anyways, so you don't need to worry about it. You do just fine; if you don't, you'll learn and do it different next time.

Also, learn how to cook a few things. I did not do this as an adult and my kitchen is rarely used, which means I eat out alot and that can be a huge money drain when you are starting out.

Answer 3

I left home when I was younger than you are so I hadn't a clue. I think more often than not, it is rare to have answers before you reach a situation but fortunately, one of the things humans do very well is learn and adapt.

Look around at the people you know who have a lifestyle you aspire to. Look for those people with talents and gifts for stretching a dollar, understanding contracts or finding the right bank. Ask for their advice and help.

Since we're in the information age, almost anything can be found online. If there's something you don't know how to do or don't understand, someone, somewhere has written a tutorial or article about it. If you can't find it, relax. Someone else will know. Just make sure it's someone you can really trust and who is willing to look out for your best interest.

Sometimes it's easiest to go to the source. If you don't know how to write a check, stop by a bank and ask. This isn't something we are all born knowing. Don't be embarrassed or feel stupid.

You are about to enter one of the most exciting times, yet anxious times you'll ever know. The first time you write a check, the first time you make a meal in your first apartment, the first time you buy groceries will be very special moments in your life. In no time at all, you'll be completely settled and it will be like you've been doing them forever.

Take a deep breath and relax. You don't have to know everything now. Some you'll learn from others. Some you'll learn from experience but, you're starting out the way many of us have and you're going to be just fine!

Under the source list, I'm including links that might be helpful to you.

Answer 4

Life is one big learning experience. It is ok to ask for help. Noone will think you are an idiot. I remember when I left Secondary School, all I knew how to do was fill out a dole form.

But as I got older I learnt more about me and what I was good at. Some things came natural. Others were a lot harder to achieve.

Don't go thinking that an adult means you automatically know how to do everything.

I am sure we all wish we had a mannual on how to do things, like raising children. But the fun part of growing up is learning along the way. If you make a mistake, so what, one day you will look back and laugh at the mistakes you made.

If we all could choose when we became an adult, I am sure the world would be overpopulated with teenagers.

Answer 5

I am 58 now and I can relate to absolutely everything you said. I promptly failed out of two colleges although I had always been in the top 20% of my class. I floated from NY down to Wash., D.C. so I could stay out of the nest. I had friends there, a few were a bit older than me. They already had the rattrap apartment, and one of them got me my job. We lived off of one canned ham for a month. Cooking = toast.

I paid by cash for everything. Eventually, I had to start using money orders, it was a long time before I opened a bank account.

I made the usual dumb mistakes: signed up for a modeling agency that wanted my non-existent money. Bought a HOT ancient MG convertible for 50 bucks that wasn't worth a nickel.

Regarding politics, I never gave it serious thought, until the night before a huge anti-war (Vietnam) rally in DC, can't remember if it was 68 or 69. A bunch of us stayed up all night trying to decide where each of us came down on the issue. Most of us went to the rally. Unfortunately, I brought a bottle of wine, and the peace, love, singing and dancing turned it into something not quite political. lol

I think lots of young people go out into the world pretty clueless after high school, even after college. The main thing is this: DO NOT BE AFRAID or embarrassed to ask questions as they come up. Nobody is born with that practical knowledge. You can bet that anyone who would make fun of you for not knowing only found out yesterday for themselves.

Have a great life! Plan for it to be different from what you thought it would be like, scary, exhilarating. You will feel so good about accomplishing things you really didn't want to do in the first place, but had to, and succeeded.!! Allow yourself -- make yourself -- enjoy every step of your journey!

Answer 6

Wow, 17 can be a scary age because the 'nest' is getting too small. Don't feel overwhelmed before you need to. Get the education you'll need and cross one bridge at a time! If you can't handle a checking account or pay bills and you don't understand how things work, please get someone to explain it to you and don't be embarrassed because most people need help and it's the ones that ask for it are the ones that succeed! Go into a bank and have them explain exactly how the account works and what's expected of you. You might decide to apply for a job!
Instead of being afraid of being an 'adult' embrace the freedom that you will have!

Answer 7

When I was 17 I had NO clue about any of those things. (But thanks for reminding me... gives me a heads up of what to teach my sons when they get to be that age).

I'm 33 and sometimes I don't feel like an adult either. I've got three kids, and having kids does make you grow up.

Going away to college is a great stepping stone for the "real world". You have some independance, but still have the safety net of mom and dad at home. I would not recommend staying at home and going to university/college.

I did that, and I really didn't learn much about life that way.

It will be freaky and scarey at first, but also freeing and wonderful! Talk to your parents, a trusted teacher or school counsellor, a member of the clergy (if you're religious), and ask them for advice. While it may not seem like it, your parents were once 17 too, and had to learn all that stuff.

The "school of hard knocks" is tough, but a good teacher.

Good luck! You can do it!!

Answer 8

Well i thought i knew how to do a lot of things on my own!
But i found out really fast the hard way to do checks, pay bills and other stuff. Now i have two kids, three cars and a house on the beach in japan. I'm in the military and i was just talking about this to a friend last night. The more money you make the more you have to pay but it just kinda all works together. i never thought i would be getting around $3,000 every two weeks but i'm now. I love getting paid but hate paying bills.
It's something that will just happen, just like high school it comes and goes really fast before you know it your married with two wonderful kids and only 25 years old! But i love it, it's my life and now i'm the father and have to the MAN things for my family. I would not trade it for anything, i love my life.
It happens fast just make sure you enjoy it........LIFE

Answer 9

Its a big step but you have (I hope) support from family and friends. Its all a learning process so listen to the experienced people in your life. Don't know something?-ask how. I had a regular job by the time I was 18 and was living on my own by the time I was 20. I worked as an operator for the phone company and everyone I worked with was older than me. I asked them questions and I had my family to turn to. Its a big change in your life but its something to look forward too. Remember, its all in how you look at it. Be in a good frame off mind and don't sweat the small stuff-Its all small stuff. Conbrats on graduating high school and good luck in college or where ever life takes you.

Answer 10

Watch how your mother/father pays bills, writes cheques and pays for the apartment. Learn a bit of cooking too. Once you start living by yourself you will get used to doing these small things with ease and confidence. Never think you are not good at anything. This thought drains the confidence.