and i recently just had a baby with him but lately he has been very insecure everytime were together and there is a handsome guy around he swears im staring and we are always arguing.but that is only one issue.i have another daughter by another man and eveeeerytime im on the phone talking to him i have to make sure i'm around him or he'll have a fit.honestly i'm tired of his insecurities it's driving me crazy!! i love him but he seems to not trust me at all .. what can i do to ease his mind ? he was cheated on by his ex but so was i but i dont drive him crazy, i feel everyone is different and deserves a chance to be trusted what can i do??
2007-01-11 16:46:19 · 11 answers · asked by LOVELY S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You need to have a serious talk with your partner. Now your relationship has moved on to the step of having a child -that indicates a serious commitment to your relationship. However seeing you have had a child with an ex and still have contact with the father that shows a serious commitment to the well being of the child. You need to be able to differentiate between the two different relationships in your life. You do not say if your partner has kids to his ex but if he does not then it may be difficult for him to understand why you must remain in contact with your ex. A partner that is insecure will drive a wedge between the couple. He has issues with his ex that he must resolve, urge him to seek counsel ling, my guess is that there are also other abandonment issues in his life that are feeding his insecurity. Try to limit your contact with your ex after all access should be with the child and not you. Allow your current partner to be present during conversations this may alleviate any ill feeling he may have and make your ex realize you have a current family and that he is a part of your former family. Tell your partner if there is no trust in a relationship then there is no relationship at all as trust is that foundation a relationship is built upon, you need to gently tell him you are not his ex and it is not fair you are suffering for her wrong doings.
2007-01-11 16:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure there isn't more to this? Because even if he was cheated on by his ex, you said you had been together for three years, So why would he all of a sudden become the Jealous Type??? Kinda weird. Well maybe it's just because of the new baby, and he realizes how much he'd have to lose if you to broke up.....but still I'm not sure why he'd get all weird about you talking to your daughter's father, you'd think he would be more understanding of that atleast. How annoying! Just let him know that you can't deal with his Jealous ways, ask him why he is acting like this all of a sudden and say something to him like "Baby you know how much I love you and how important you are to me, but sometimes I feel like you don't trust me." See what he has to say to that. And most of all just make sure that you get the point across to him that HE is DRIVING you AWAY by acting all Jealous.
2007-01-11 16:54:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope i can help I just got out of a relationship like that but I don't mean that i actually got out what i mean is that my husband is nolonger like that, I know what and how your feeling it is the worst thing to have you feel like you are never satisfying him. I will tell you what i did I could not take it anymore and I left him I moved to another state to live with my mom. we also had a baby together now we have 2 little girs then we had only one. I told him why i left him and that i could not take it no more., oh I also have a little girl by another man also and he did the same things that your boyfriend does. Well he did not want to lose me so I told him that things really needed to change or I will never come back to him so it took me 3 months to come back and I was also pregant with our 2nd child at the time. So he promised me that things would be different. I don't know if you would be willing to leave him but in these cases that seems to be the only thing that will work. I was with my husband before i left him for 2 yrs I was dealing with the same issues so it took me some time before I left him. But when I came back to him it was like I came back to a new man, he said that he realized that what he was doing was stupid and that it was not worth losing me over. I hope this helps.
2007-01-11 17:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by babygirlftct 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecurities can be a big problem in relationships. I can understand where you're coming from as well as where he's coming from. Obviously, he still hasn't fully recovered from the pain that that one relationship caused. Instead of getting mad about it everytime he shows insecurities, try to talk to him calmly because if you keep getting mad, he might feel that his insecurities are being confirmed. Let him know how you feel about his insecurities and do something nice to show him that you care and also let him know you'll be there if he would like to talk things out in regards to his ex. We are all built differently and we all handle pain and loss differently. By helping him get over it completely, you'll also help your relationship. Good luck!
2007-01-11 16:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by Sharon X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are very different when it comes to being cheated on.It's a guy thing most of them think just because another man has been inside you that makes you unworthy of his respect.He loves you but hates you for not being pure.Your man thinks you belong to him you are his property to do with as he will.Most men won't admit to this because they no how foolish it sounds but it's true.
2007-01-11 17:07:54 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Let him know how you feel and what you are thinking.Find out about how he feels and what he's thinking. Alot can be learned about your partner if you pay attention to his words and ask yourself what he is really trying to tell you. Mayby he is afraid of losing you. if you talk to each other and find out answers, it will make you understand each other and you will have a healthier relationship.
2007-01-11 16:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Joseph W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship without marriage and never have kids out of wedlock...
You are not off to a good start...
It does not sound like you are going to marry this guy and have
a successful marriage..
Find a new man to care for you and marry you...
Start over...
Make wiser choices in men..
Don't base your choice solely on looks & charisma...
2007-01-11 16:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him outright.. "i'm not going to cheat on you. i love you. but your insecurities are controlling my life and i can't handle it. Why don't you trust me? You know i would never do anything like that, i love you more than anything" etc etc
2007-01-11 16:50:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pull his hair
2007-01-11 16:48:39 · answer #9 · answered by a_bike_guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he thinks you are gonna move on... either deal or dump him...
2007-01-11 16:49:33 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋