I have by boyfriend's password 4 his phone and I heard a message from his so-called -friend( was going to date her before he met me but she wasn't sure if he was interested in her so, she slept with another guy. When he found out, he didn't bother ti date her. By the way, at the time she was 30 and he was 22. She had 3 kids and is divorced from another man.)Anyway,I now have a son by him( 4 months old) and he he still speaks with this b*****.She knows that he is with me but she still won't leave him alone. he tells me that she has done a lot for him and he can't just let her go( I had asked him to forget about her and to choose between the 2 of us. He couldn't) She is in love with him and I think he know it very well. Anyway, yesterday I heard the message from her saying she wasn't feeling well and whenever he goes over, he falls asleep then when he wakes up, he gets horny and asked her to go down on him. he SWEARS to me that that isn't true. What dod I believe?He swore on his life
2007-01-11 16:35:17 · 28 answers · asked by natasha m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Could it be that she has found a way to make you leave and then she can stay with him. If given the chance I'm sure they would be more than just friends because of all the things she has done for him. He can't choose between you both because you have his new baby and because she might have something he is interested in.
I have to say talk it over with him and if you feel she is drawing him away again then leave him to see what he does. This is an awful situation because of your baby.
2007-01-11 18:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by VC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that your bf has made his choice by not making one. He will keep this up till one of you decides she is better than this. You have a child with this guy and are not married, his obligation to you seems minimal. His attachment is that she has done so much for him, and she of course, likes to heap gas on the fire by encouraging you to believe he is getting something from her that she is happy to give. In any case, this recipe for a disaster has pain and sorrow written all over it. If you tolerate him going over and "falling asleep" and accepting this as an answer to where is he, then you are getting what you deserve. If you still have a backbone, I would suggest using it to help you pack and leave with your child and find a way to the courthouse to file for child support and move on with your life. Women who allow themselves to be treated so shabbily, should not be surprised when their guys so happily oblige them. Also, your listening to his messages really is very telling about what you already suspected anyways, or you wouldn't be "sneaking about" trying to find out what you have obviously found out. The guy is a player and his girl is a slu t and you are the fool waiting on him. If he loved you he would have ended this and said to the girl "I am not interested in you anymore" and moved on with his life, but he has chosen to become more and more indebted to her and continue his "relationship", whatever that entails. Darling, bag up whats left of your dignity and dump his loser butt! Good luck!
2007-01-12 00:50:11 · answer #2 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a good relationship if he still has to keep in contact with this other woman. If he isn't man enough to choose between the two of you why would you want him to have to be the man in your child's life. Looks like no stability with this guy. Move on and be choosier in future relationships. Having a child with someone who hasn't committed to you is just a recipe for disaster.
2007-01-12 00:42:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you heard it on his voicemail, then it's most likely true! I'm sorry it say this and be so straightforward about it, but...it looks to me like he is cheating on you.
Of course, when confronted, he's gonna lie to you. Even if he's sworn on his life..
You should be glad you heard it so now you don't have to live this fantasy life thinking everything is fine. Now that you know the truth, i say leave his A** because he's a liar and find someone who appreciates you and someone who doesn't hide stuff from you.
2007-01-12 00:42:53 · answer #4 · answered by Alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, his excuse is this woman left a crazy message in on voice mail that she thinks he is the only one listening to? He had two choices, admit the message was true or immediately jump to crazy and deny, deny, deny. You wouldn't have posted this if deep down you believed that pile of crap.
It took me years and years to learn this lesson................If it sounds like b.s. It is B.S. If you want to share this guy with other women, stay with him. He is a cheater and he will cheat again and again and again. You get to decide if this is the last time or if you want to keep going through this.
One of the most amazing women I have ever met once said, "Any woman who can take my man, can have him." Let her have him.
2007-01-12 03:29:28 · answer #5 · answered by shana162 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is playing games with you and you need to make a choice to raise your son or him if he is a man then wht she done for him should not hinder him from moving on besides he is a man he should ack lik eone and not let no women take care of him that's not be a man with a child. leave him there with her and move on with your life he's not worth it and has no RESPECT for you or his child. Start your child support and move on ,you have a part of him his child you don't want to have to raise two do you? With no support. Forgove your self for calling her a b**** because it is al on him for leading the two of you on like that If you let him continue on he will have his cake and ice cream you have the power to cut some of his goodies off.
2007-01-12 00:58:37 · answer #6 · answered by miss out spoken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's lying - I'm sure he will try and turn it on you and take the heat off himself by saying you "violated his trust" by checking his phone messages - that's a ploy. Listen, the God throws pebbles at us a long time before he throws a boulder at us. This sounds like you are getting pelted with pebbles, wake up before a boulder (in the shape of "Honey, I don't love you anymore."} hits you and your 4 month old baby in the head.
2007-01-12 03:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you asked him to choose and he said he couldn't?!? And now you believe him when he swears on his life?
It's true that she may just be trying to break you two up but I wouldn't keep a man who didn't positively choose ME FIRST, especially when I have his baby!
I think he needs an ultimatum. One that you get to hear him make to her. Have him tell her it's over, in your presence or else. You and your baby deserve so much better.
2007-01-12 00:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrggg!! Guys are such dogs! Tell you a quick story about me....mind you this happend recently around Christmas time. My boyfriend met this woman only God knows where. He went out with her for a breif time even wanted to move in with her to another state. Anyway, I have access to his e-mail to find a picture of both of them on New Years eve. I confronted him, and he did not know where to put himself. He did admit to have slept with this woman. However, he wanted to be with me. I said that I am taking over (i am going to speak to her) from now on. I did, I got rid of her real quick.
With that said, take over from here, kill her with kindness and be very calm about it. Talk to her in a polite yet firm manner. You do not want to yell, because then you get excited and she does too. Then you will not get anywere and the big circle starts all over again.
Tell your boyfriend that for your relationship sake if he want to be with you then he has to make a sacrifice, and if this girl is bothering you then you need to get rid of that problem.
Lets see if that works for you. I know it did for me! Best of luck and let me know how you make out!
2007-01-12 00:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by jt_kitty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop being so insecure and let him go. Even though you have a baby with him, you are better off without him. Better to do it now than later. You can do it girl. You are a lot stronger than you think
2007-01-12 01:14:55 · answer #10 · answered by hidemi_jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋