My husband who spends like an idiot without thinking bought me a laptop today for my b-day.?

Question

I don't want to seem ungrateful, but it's something that I really don't need at this point and we cannot afford right now. I'm really pissed at him. Should I ask him to return or should I keep it.

it was 1200.00 What an irresponsible ***

I just opened a yoga studio, so he heard me saying I need a comp. for my POS system. problem he is a very compulsive spender.... spends and THEN thinks. It ANNOYS me

Answer 1

why don't you exchange the lap top for a cheaper one...these days, you can get a great computer for 600 bucks, you just need to shop around...

if money is a problem now, it will always be a problem...unless you do something about it! tell you husband how you feel.

you might also want to consider deciding on a spending limit, for birthdays and everyday, and anything above you have to ask the other one first...for example, my boyfriend and i are trying to both save money for our future, so if either of us wants to make a purchase over $200, we consult the other first...it works, and we've both avoided a lot of stupid impulse purchases!

Answer 2

A laptop might not be the best computer for a POS system, and it's certainly not the cheapest. But, if you're going to use the laptop for other things at the yoga studio and other places, I might keep it. But, a man who spends in an uncontrollable manner is difficult to deal with. He'll probably say "but we needed that" each time he buys something outside of your means. If you love him very much, train him on saving money. It can be done, as long as it's not done in a shaming manner.

Answer 3

I understand a little how you're feeling. My husband called me one day and said, "Hey! I bought you a present..."

I was expecting a fancy chocolate bar, or maybe Chinese takeout. Instead, I walked into the food court (where he wanted me to meet him) and he was typing on this silly computer I'm using now.

There was no way we could afford it. I asked him, and he said that he'd applied for and gotten a new credit card, because he knew that I needed this laptop to further my writing career (since we didn't have a computer at all). He knew it was my dream to have one.

I understand that you're worried about money, and that you don't really need it. However, if you do ask him to return it (which is fine) do it politely and with concern for his feelings. He probably thought he was getting you something fantastic, and didn't mean to irritate you. Try to seem grateful, no matter what you do.

Don't be pissed. Try to see it from his point of view.

Answer 4

Marriage is a relationship that is suppose to be built up. Communication is necessary especially when your finances is at hand. Your husband seems to want to please you, or is looking for your approval, but the route he is taking may not be the right one. Your approach to returning the laptop should not be done out of fear, rather with him understanding why the laptop needs to go back. Start helping him learn how to save money, which will benefit his impulses to buy. It is not only necessary to address the issue rapidly, but carefully because you need to identify the reason "WHY?" he is spending without control. You are not being ungrateful, rather concerned which is of equal importance, because crippling your finances can eradicate future endeavours on every angle.

Answer 5

Tell him you married him not for the materialistic things he can offer you, but the deep friendship that goes along with being lovers. Tell him later on in the future you would rather spend that money when you have it on a getaway excursion with him alone somewhere. Just the two of you,, so you won't hurt his feelings. Then take his *** to the room and get freaky with him like you know you shouldv'e, for him probably worrying his head off. About what to buy you in the first place!!!Now go girl, you know you can do it!!

Answer 6

I am not really good with this kind of question but I will pray for you and him, and your yoga stadio.

Thank you for your encouragement on the other posting regarding "how did you get where you are today". It made me feel very motivating and good today espically when I had a bad day at work. You know, it is not easy to do good normally but I think it is very hard to be a good person when in the bad time. but I will still keep my words and principles and work hard.

Answer 7

well tha tis your husband and he had good intentions I think that you will hurt him to just come out and tell him that way. Maybe you should limit him on what he can spend. sounds like he is materialistic and you guys need to sit down and talk about what would be a approperate gift and set spending limits so calm down and reassis tthe situation there is no need of you getting upset when you already know how he spend.

Answer 8

Well if you don't need it and can't afford it well yeah you might want to return it. Just dont make him feel all bad about it if he did it with good intentions. Tell him you appreciate the thought but something small is good enough.

Answer 9

Yeah, in the same boat. My hubby bought me a pair of $1,200.00 earrings for Christmas....Nice thought, but, really whats the point? I am thinking of taking them back too! Don't they get it, I would rather have bills sent, then some damn earrings or computer. Maybe you could tell him that you had your eye one on that was different. Then return it and just delay getting another and say..."not a big deal, i didn't really need it anyway".....Guys are pretty easily distracted....well mine is!
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Ummmm..... this is one of the symptoms of bi-polar disorder, spending money recklessly. Does he have depressions episodes as well? In other words, do you see a cycling pattern?
From your additional information you posted about the "impulsiveness" is also classic for bi-polar disorder. I would have him evaluated by a REPUTABLE doctor, cause there are simple meds for this and your bank account will be saved. :-)