He's a wrestler and this year he feels he's gotten worse bcuz hes been losing. whenever he loses he ignores everyone and pushes away any act of kindness like a hug or anything. he says he needs to be left alone but is it fair to me that he ignores me for hours or days for something thats not my fault? also if i say something like to put him down in anyway he also wont talk to me even when i apologize and tell him i didn't mean to upset him and that i just want him to talk to me he wont. How can i get him to change and how can i get him to cope better with losing and make it so that he wont ignore me?
2007-01-11 15:38:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You can't change him. My husband is like that sometimes too. My best friend and I have a saying:
"Boys are dumb. Let's throw rocks at them". LOL! Just ignore him when he gets that way and don't coddle him or suck up. If he wants to stew then let him stew and don't allow it to affect you. He might actually enjoy the attention you're lavishing on him when he pouts.
2007-01-11 15:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People respond to personal pain with methods that they think is the best one to resolve the pain. Your boyfriend is having some emotional issues concerning disappointments in losing wrestling matches.
If he were my boyfriend I would tell him to just get over it and grow up. The world is not his oyster nor anyone else's. If he keeps it up, you should look for another boy friend.
Do the best you can with this guy until he realizes just what it is he wants from wrestling. You may simply have to ignore him for a while. Besides, when he's all quiet and moody, don't you just run up to him and give him loads of attention? Maybe that is what he really wants in the first place. A sort of push you away come here kind of return of attention.
Maybe he has hit the ceiling as far as his wrestling talent is concerned. Or maybe this will focus his attention on learning better moves to become a more successful winner. Hey! Even Hulk lost a few matches.
Do you really want to have someone like that in your young life? It sounds like you are being emotionally manipulated.
2007-01-11 15:49:30 · answer #2 · answered by Catfish_Woman154 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this....this is important:
You cannot change people. You cannot. No matter how hard you try. You can change yourself. You can change the way you see things and how you react to things.
Realize that your boyfriend needs to get over his matches and disappointments in his own way. He needs his own space to do things in his own way.
You need to analyze why you want to interfere with his private time? This has nothing to do with you. He should be able to cope in any way he chooses, as long as he isn't hurting you.
You don't need to "put him down". And apparently, hugs don't do the trick for him while he is meditating.
You've had time with him....learn his rhythm. Just realize that it will take him a couple days to recover. Give him his space. You catch up on your reading, laundry or shopping. Join back up with him when he is back in better spirits.
Not everyone processes information the same. Not everyone handles emotions the same.
You will need more self-awareness and find out why you are taking his silence so personal when you KNOW it isn't you.
Good Luck,
CF
2007-01-11 15:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people withdraw from others when theyre upset.
theres nothing u can do about it.
just accept him the way he is and he may be more willing to open up to u in the future.
2007-01-11 15:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by Trouble918 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him not to loose anymore cause you dont like it and you will leave him. That should motivate him
2007-01-11 15:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by huesito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋