Pregnant, and going insane.?

Question

I'm 15 weeks pregnant. I was convinced I wanted an abortion, went to the clinic, and turned back, much to my mans relief. I don't know why, I just couldn't do it.
My question is, is it normal to go completely nuts while pregnant? All I do is think about how huge this all is, and that I can't handle it. I feel the baby kick and I want to scream. I cry over everything. I have a short temper and have fantasies of throwing things like vases at my family members heads when they make me angry. . All of these thoughts go through my head. What if my fiance leaves me? What if I don't love the baby when it comes out? What if I get worse after the pregnancy and I find myself needing to be locked up?
I feel I am going mad. Sometimes I wish for a miscarriage just so I can get out of this mental hell. I have heard that pregnancy hormones can be rough, but this is nuts. I'm going to see a therapist tomorrow due to my soon to be husbands pleas. He believes I have flipped my lid as well.
Anyone else??

Also, I can't sleep because I suddenly keep horrible leg cramps. All smells make me ill. Morning sickness should be fading, but isn't, I vomit if I even attempt to eat breakfast.
My doctors say I am in perfect health physically. And please, anti-abortion people, don't slam me. I'm not terminating. I'm just seeking comfort from other women who have experienced something similar.
My poor fiance has to deal with my crying and mood swings. He feels he's made me miserable. I tell him it isn't his fault. He thinks that by me being so unhappy with my pregnancy ( Bad timing) I am unhappy with him, which isn't the case.
I just want to feel sane again.

To the one poster.
Adoption is not an option. If I'm going to go through all of this, to hell if I'll give it up.
Thank you to all of you that are sharing.
And yes, I'm having a boy, maybe that's it??

Answer 1

Of course you're feeling overwhelmed! You're coming up on some major life changes, who wouldn't be themselves? What you're dealing with is huge. That being said, i want to commend you on deciding to see a therapist. It's never an easy choice, but i have a feeling it can help you. Just remember to take it seriously and to be as honest as you can. Talk through your options with her. I'm certain you will feel better eventually, you just need some time and maybe a little help. But make a pact with a loved one that if you feel you are going to do something drastic, you call and talk to them before hand. You don't want to make a decision you will regret one day. Good luck with everything. And remember, there are always people in the world that care about you.

Answer 2

It is normal believe that! I bet your a first time mom. I have a son that is four years old. I had him when I was 18. I felt the same way you do now.Very confused on what to do, how things would end up, would my man stay, how was I gonna be a mom. I cried and cried.I was all mean and hateful one minute and the next fine.(It's like PMS everyday)!I was very scared- I think that it all didnt really hit me until I had my son. Once I got to hold him in my arms it was the most amazing feeling in all this world. A love and bond that you will never feel anywere else. Your baby needs you and you will soon understand how much you need him/her! Im not no religious freak or anything, but a child is a blessing from god. I wish you the best with your pregnancy, and remember even though its a scary thought.You can get through it, I did!! Best Wishes

Answer 3

I have totally been in your shoes. I too thought about ending my pregnancy but went on. I had horrible morning noon and night sickness which seemed to last an eternity. (it ended around 18 weeks) and smells and lights made me so quesy. I didn't even like to hear voices when I was feeling sick. (I shushed my poor fiance very rudely so many times just because he made me want to throw up when he talked to me at times. LOL)

All the stress is not helping you. I think once you come to accept this pregnancy and get excited about it, you will see that everything will change. Have you gone for a sonogram? That is a wonderful moment. Also, start buying books on names and on pregnancy and caring for a newborn.

Well, I'm here to tell you that 7 years later (and 2 more kids later) I am SO happy. I married my fiance and he is a wonderful husband and father. My 7 year old is a gorgeous genius and I can't imagine life without her.

Good luck to you and hang in there!

Answer 4

Yeah, hormones can be bad. My grandmother actually plotted my grandfather's murder numerous times during her 3rd pregnancy, she was actually physically sick when he was around through the whole 9 months. I was very emotional too, I cried easy, got mad easy, and yes even wanted to kill my husband too ( I'd dream I shot him, a lot) But the whole experience is very overwhelming, especially if you were questioning your choices to begin with. I think it's good that you're gonna go see someone. Maybe they can give you some tips on how to calm down when you're the most stressed. I just want you to know you're not nuts, it's just that people react in different ways. Just remember that it WILL get better, and when you have that baby, you'll look down into it's beautiful little eyes, and you'll wonder why you ever worried so much. You'll love that child with all your heart. It really is worth it in the end.

Answer 5

I so feel you - thats exactly how i was!!

I was irrational, moody (mostly without reason), emotional and my anger was like a volcano waiting to erupt. EVERYTHING became my fiances fault - it was his fault i was hormonal, his fault i'm uncomfortable all the time, his fault i can't fit my clothes or wear my fav heels etc and i just hated my life and everything about it and in it.

Its hormonal - trust me it is. Such an influx of emotion - the major changes happening in our bodies, the responsibility of another person - i mean look at what a baby represents: a whole lifestyle change - not a temporary one either but one that will last the rest of our lives. And if it came unexpectantly (as it was with me) and was news that wasn't greeted with the most joy (like me again) then it is all alot to comprehend.

Eventually though your hormones settle down. You become more rational - more able to function as a normal human being. Sure i still have temper tantrums and i still act irrationally, and i'm still moody - but its not to the same degree and its not as frequent.

Cut yourself some slack - by all means talk to a therapist if it helps you but recognise you are entitled to be a little irrational - some of it just can't be helped!

I wish you much luck and happiness. And if you want someone to talk to you are more than welcome to email me.

Answer 6

It's not about being crazy, more about being confused, scared, unsure of what you want, worried about the new responsibilities, etc. Sounds like you are having a hard time dealing with those issues on your own, and that some counselling/ therapy might help. You just need to learn to channel your frustrations, and express your emotions some other way. Take the advice of someone who's dealt with their own share of depression and "craziness", if you don't deal with it now, it will start to affect all the relationships in your life. You don't want someone you love (including your fiance and your baby) to end up emotionally or physically hurt because of the way you handle your feelings one day. Email me thru my profile if you want to talk.

About the leg cramps, it could be that you are not drinking enough or have a deficiency, like calcium. Are you taking prenatal vitamins? You might also be causing yourself to be nauseous becuause of the stress you are feeling. Try to relax, eat as well as you can, but at least if you can't get plenty of fluids. And know that everything happens for a reason, either to make life better, or to teach us lessons that will make our lives better next time. It seems like it's up to you to decide which one this time.

Answer 7

Just remember there is post partum depression, but in addition to this there is a diagnosis that is depression during pregnancy. I would def. talk to a doctor. Mood swings during pregnancy is normal, however I think this is more than that. It is good that your husband/fiancea cares enough to help you get help and support you through what ever is happening. And usually once you see your beautiful baby you will fall in love. However do not worry if you don't. it can take up to a week or more, it is not abnormal. If you are still felling sad after the baby go back to the doctor. They will help and with you other half's support it will make it that much easier.

Answer 8

Its a big, life changing event. Of course it is normal to be stressed and think about ending it or not going through with it. I was happily married, and I thought about giving my baby up for adoption when I was 7 months pregnant. I called an agency and everything to find out how to go about it. I changed my mind the next day. I now have a beautiful 4 year old daughter that I cant imagine my life without. You will get through this and you will be thankful that you chickened out of the abortion.

Answer 9

I'm also having some of the same thoughts. I have been having really violent dreams too, and imagine hurting people that make me mad (not the baby of course). It's a good idea to see a therapist, maybe I should too. The other day I started crying when I saw a Nicoderm commercial! Your moods should stabilize after having the baby.

Answer 10

You need to hear some things: YOU ARE NOT GOING CRAZY, YOU ARE ACTUALLY FACING THIS RESPONSIBILITY WITH THOUGHT AND INTELLIGENCE! YOUR SYMPTOMS (EVEN THOSE MENTAL ONES) ARE NORMAL AND HAVE A LOT TO DO WITH HORMONES! YOUR MAN'S FEELINGS ARE NORMAL TOO AND HE NEEDS TO HEAR YOUR DOCTOR SAY THAT SOMETIMES HE IS GOING TO NEED TO JUST GO WITH IT.
Sorry for the caps but this stuff is important to know. Now, for some help.
First of all, dump the what ifs. What if you don't like the baby? There is nothing that you can do to change or prepare for that. Let it go. What if your man leaves you? Honey, he asked you to get help, he's not going to leave. If he does, there is nothing you can do to change that. Tell him your fears then let it go. Your thoughts and emotions will never be the same, you're a mom now. You are not crazy and the weird thoughts and feelings will go away with some stress relief and as the hormones return to normal after the baby comes.
Your temper being a little overactive is actually designed biologically to help you protect your baby if need be (not from family but from predators but hey, family can be a problem). Unless you can't actually stop yourself from throwing a vase, its nothing to be concerned about.
This is huge, but you can and will handle it. Just break it into pieces. The every day work like diapers and clothes and feeding, you can't change it, you can't fight it, you really get used to it. It isn't as hard as you think, they will help you learn to do stuff in the hospital if you have questions. The bigger stuff like what to feed the baby when, how much etc, the only decision you need to make during your pregnancy is breast or bottle, the food and nutrition stuff comes later and you will have lots of opportunities to ask your pediatrician before you get to that time. Now the big stuff: what kind of mom will you be? What kind of things do you need to teach your kid about life, sex, drugs, reading...? To help you get through this, write, write, write. Keep a journal (on paper or on the computer) about what you are worried about and what you want to have happen (what you think you SHOULD say about stuff), what rules you think you want to have (no TV, a little TV, no sugar or soda, respect, no locked doors) just remember that this can and should change as you and your child grow.
Most of this is related to the hormones, the hormones just make everything feel that much more overwhelming. Let your man read this and take him with you to the doc's. You need him to understand that you may in fact act a little crazy (men think we're crazy even without being pregnant). Whether you are happy about the pregnancy or not, you are. If you relax and try to take on each feeling or worry by itself I think that you will find you are more excited than you think you are. Tell your man that you could and probably would feel like this even if you had planned the pregnancy because your body is reacting strongly to the hormones.
Some words of comfort: pregnancies with such high hormones are frequently healthier and the babies stronger. The fact that you feel and are thinking about all these things mean that you will be a thoughtful and conscientious mom and I would wager you will be a pretty good one. I have known women who just pretend they are not pregnant and give little or no thought to the baby or the changes that a baby bring. The morning sickness may not go away, tell your doc how bad it is and ask if you can have something (I have to take medicine for the nausea). I think you would feel better if you sign up for a pregnancy class that also talks about parenting (many insurance companies cover this). Talk to La Leche League in your area (they are an organization dedicated to breastfeeding but most of the meetings are full of new moms, it would be a good place to meet some other moms to talk to). Talk to new moms you see in the mall etc. Try to find a mom who is just with one little baby. Older moms (those with kids who have been potty-trained, myself included) tend to be a little more removed from the feelings that accompanied their first pregnancy and tend to discuss the physical symptoms more. I think it is a good idea to talk to a therapist but if this person doesn't make you feel better or tells you that you have issues that need to be addressed, find someone else. Talk with your OB-Gyn to get help, or a good referral. None of what you have said indicates a serious mental condition. Depression is very common and you may have it, it is a function of the hormones and the stress, it is not a disease like other kinds of depression are.
I don't know you but I feel so much for you, I wish I could just have you over for tea and give you a big hug and tell you that you are gonna be fine a hundred times over. I do hope that you get to feeling better and I hope that something I said helped.
Lots of love