Ok so as you may know from my previous question I am separated from my wife. Not divorced but she packed up and left. Although she left with out really telling me why and really was that she went to pursue the gothic life style. But she said the divorce was up to me. So if i wanted a divorce I would have to do all the paper work and what not. So I was thinking since i love her with all my heart even after she broke my heart and hurt me i dont want to pursue divorce. My thinking is it shows her I really love her and I am willing to wait for her to come back even is she does not I will still be true to her. I will never remerry. So is this thinking ok for me to do? if it makes me feel good and having hope gets me through the days. Well I just want to keep something from her and that is my peice of her all that i have left.
2007-01-11 15:01:22 · 12 answers · asked by ltcharles1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is a saying in Japan: leave the cage open so the bird will have a place to come back too...(something like that) You have no reason to even doubt your intentions. Yes it's a very commendable gesuture not only towards your wife but to the sanctity of your vows. Hope is always a rewarding thing. The validation you seek based on the answers your receive on Yahoo will not be sufficient, you and she are the only two that will benefit from your decision. I for one am grateful that you are man enough to stand up and let bygones be as they are until time and effort makes any deviation from your decision falter. 100 points!
2007-01-11 15:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by Goodie66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are to sensitive and dont want to sound mean but that will get you hurt. Your letter made me cry your ex wife should really think about what she is throwing away. As far a a nice gesture for her I would have to say no because she sounds insensitive and just plain aw full and if you dont divorce her she will probably be out there committing 2 sins fornication and adultery you could save her from one of those. Not to mention one day you might find yourself someone worthy of your love then she might not want to give you a divorce. Keep an old scarf of hers instead. Bless you!
P.S. By the way remember she left you so you will not be breaking you vows so fear not you will be o.k.
2007-01-11 23:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking as a goth - we do not go to the mall and stare at people, thank you very much. we have lives just as everyone does.
to the point, it is admirable of you to not divorce her. however, i am concerned as to the reason why she left, as you said that she left without really telling you why. if it was because she pursued the gothic lifestyle, then either she was scared of telling you in the first place or you refused to join in as well.
my advice to you, do not wait for her to come back. if you love her, you should find her and tell her that you want her to come back. also, tell her your intentions that you placed on here as well.
the idea of her leaving it up to you as far as the divorce befuddles me. almost as though she could have been testing you - yes, we females are notorious for tests. perhaps she may want you to join her in this gothic lifestyle? if you don't know much about it, study up on the different styles. this does not mean you should change your appearance just because you're studying it.
2007-01-11 23:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by Shakti Svātantrya Isa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is very noble of you. stop to think for a minute ,you have not done anything wrong Right? If she left you is because her feeling for you are not as strong. Why are you going to sacrifice your life when she is probably having a good time or being with someone she truly loves, Try to get over this phase of your life and live your life after all she is living hers.
even if she comes back she'll stay long enough to regroup and leave and hurt you again.
2007-01-11 23:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you really love your wife. Maybe give yourself some time before you do anything. Right now is clearly not the right time for you to file for divorce. Sit on it for awhile and see what happens. You may get back together, you may decide she's not for you, lots could happen. Hang in there!
2007-01-11 23:12:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unrequited love gains nothing but a miserable life. You need a reality check. You are hoping against hope. Wait a bit if you must but eventually divorce her if she shows no signs of coming back and get on with your life.
2007-01-11 23:15:51 · answer #6 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think waiting will be just the answer. You can wait until she realizes things but the waiting period might kill your feelings for her and worst her feelings for you. So offer yourself to her also, help her with her issues, be there for her. I'm thinking that she is the compulsive type. She will finally come to her senses and mirror down on the things that she did.
Good luck ......
2007-01-11 23:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that is obeying your vows you made before the LORD and she should realize that, even if she does have gothic ways. anyway, you should pray for her and yourself as well and ask GOD to help you through this and give you and her strength. she will realize what she's done a little while. keep the true faith that you have.
2007-01-11 23:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by ken's princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so sweet of you to feel that way but don't wait too long as you may never find true love again and l honestly feel you deserve it. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-11 23:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gothics don't do anything bad, they just go to the mall and stare at people, and they get taco bell cups from the food court and keep them forever so they can get free refills. I would leave her for good.
2007-01-11 23:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋