An old flame from years past was searchable online, and apparently, unmarried, as her maiden name indicates she's possibly unattached. We broke up over not being too compatible do to my occupational travel. Unfortunately, it was also due to our differences not wanting children. I got her pregnant. She had an abortion. At the time, we both agreed it wasn't time for either of us to start a family either. I paid for half the abortion, even though as a practicing Christian, I felt it wrong. Needless to say, I never spoke to her but only twice, and briefly, a few weeks after, some 16 years ago. As I recall, it was more or less negative. She's 44, I'm 42. Should I drop a post card, a letter or just leave it alone? I'm thinking she had issues with finding the right guy, otherwise known as Mr. Right I suppose. Apparently, she still hasn't married. I was wondering if she would remember me. Should I contact or leave it alone?
2007-01-11 14:30:03 · 15 answers · asked by cpinkfloyd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your story sounds alot like mine,15 years for me, I passed him on the street one day,he made the block, a few dates and phone calls, been together ever since.I would call her!Or just show up one day! And no she has not forgot you trust me!!!!! Shes probably been waiting......wounds heal, love is forever, Good Luck........
2007-01-11 14:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should call her over sending her a post card. If you call her it would be more personal. I'm sure she wonders about you as much as you do her. You both went through something very tough and it was something you both did together that will always still w/ both yous forever. I have a friend who gave up a baby for adoption when she was 17 or 18, her and the babies day are still friends and even though she is married she still has love for this other guy.
Good Luck!
2007-01-11 14:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by jaden2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut feeling. You obviously want to or you wouldn't put the otion up here for a vote, lol. Be sure you communicate with an honest heart and mind. If it is God in your heart telling you it's the path to follow, then why doubt fate/destiny. Be sure she knows you aren't looking to reopen old scars from the past, but to look for a fresh start at a renewed friendship. The worst she could do is not respond or tell you to leave her alone with colorful metaphors and all. The Lord works in mysterious ways. At least you'd know in your heart and sound mind that you have put forth the effort to try to heal a mental scar between someone and yourself, without the constant shadow of Satan cursing you every day with doubts of 'What if you would have....' No matter what you decide to do won't matter, God will still show His love and grace. God bless!
2007-01-11 14:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her. Why not? Both of you are different people by now. You're more settled and you know where your life is going as far as careers. A lot of things have been settled already. Who knows? Maybe she will be happy to talk to you and reminisse. What's the worst she could say? Don't bother me? But if she says lets have coffee I'll bet that would be ok now won't it. If you don't try you will never know. Let her see that you've grown into a decent person and are responsible now. You are aren't you? Sounds like you were before too if you paid your share of things. That was a misfortune. Try it. Things and people change.
2007-01-11 14:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Me2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you've been 18, i does not blink an eye fixed. see you later because that is both of you and that is all in the course of the day in public, it truly is okay for the on the spot. i'm not shocked he's interested in you. you receives a large number of those who provide you with a warning off, yet attempt to sluggish the entire aspect down and do not go away with him. the same peoplw does not blink an eyelid in case you've been having unprotected sex with some 16 12 months previous loser with an STD who smokes marijuana each and each weekend. once you recognize slightly about him, you are able to make some discreet inquiries, to even if he's a few loopy or something. notwithstanding the reality is that he would in simple terms be something of a nerd who works truly lengthy hours and particularly socially inept - in reality slightly immature. do not take your pants off until eventually you get an engagement ring. The divorce fee is totally double in case you marry earlier you're 22. i'm assuming that you're criminal the position you're - the age of consent is 16. even if it isn't, i ought to provide him a tremendous berth.
2016-11-23 13:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it could hurt just to find out what she is doing these days, sometimes we just need closure. I had a boyfriend in high school that I cared about a lot; after we graduated, we went our separate ways, and I always wondered what had become of him. One day I took a different route home from work, I came to a stop light when this man in front of me jumps out of his car it was he my old boyfriend it had been 10 years. He told me to pull over the next corner so I did. It was nice to talk to him again we laughed and talked about old times it was good to know that we were both married and happy it felt great, and as I drove away I new that I would never see him again I got my closure.
2007-01-11 15:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE IT ALONE!!! if you weren't compatible then, you are less compatible now. i looked up an ex from 8 years past. it was horrible. emotional baggage gets bigger and heavier with time, not lighter. she would remember you, and it wouldn't be for the good times. she would remember you being gone with work, "making her" terminate her pregnancy, and probably for 'running away' since you had little contact after the abortion. she may have even blown you up into the ultimate hypocrite, since you were a 'christian' and still paid for an abortion.
'
2007-01-11 14:49:49 · answer #7 · answered by cml4603 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would try but be prepared for the coldshoulder..She might however have thought of you too..Send a post card or email so she can answer on her terms and if no response you will know and if she does well then maybe she was waiting for you all along.16 years is along time and time heals too..Best to you..Send me a wedding invitation..I feel good about this one
2007-01-11 15:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by karen e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's always exciting to receive a post card from an old flame...worse comes to worse you go back to not speaking to each other not unlike the last 16 years. But if things turn out good...oooo things could get friendly.
2007-01-11 14:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave it alone. Especially since there was an abortion in the past. You might reopen old wounds. Let it go.
2007-01-11 14:34:27 · answer #10 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋