HELP!!!! My friend has 2 kids - somewhat well behaved - I watch them on and off. I also have a child same age as the kids. Lately, it's been more on that I watch them. She paid someone one time when I wasn't available. I turned down money offered to me a while back and said friends help each other. She got upset the other day when I told her I had other plans and she shouldn't count on me all the time. She finally called me... to pick her kids up from school tomorrow and to watch them. We hardly talk as friends and I don't like the way things are going. How can I get our friendship back and limit my free babysitting services?
2007-01-11 14:02:41 · 14 answers · asked by STAR 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Why don't you let your friend know what days or hours you are available to 'help' her out. Include in your conversation that you miss her company and you would like to rekindle your friendship with her so your going to let her treat you to a nice lunch or dinner, with or without the kids, so that you can rekindle your friendship. Let her know you miss her. This should work.
2007-01-11 14:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by hot single mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, the reason she is asking you to babysit makes a huge difference. For a doctors appointment, if she needs to meet with a child's teacher or go on a job interview, sure for an hour or two. If she is having her hair done or going shopping, no way in hell. What would she have done if you said you were not available at that time, for that long? How long have you been friends? Does she do this to other girlfriends? Does she readily babysit for you when you need someone? Look at the whole picture and if you are feeling used, don't be available more than once a month. This is a hard one. I do wish you the best.
2007-01-11 22:22:49 · answer #2 · answered by lollipop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate being put in that situation too! I The way to handle it is to be honest. Really, that's what friendship is suppose to be based on. Usually someone respects you a lot more for the truth than trying to beat around the bush or give lame excuses. There's something about the truth that just works. You just have to tell her that you really don't like baby-sitting and that you will in a dire need but that's just not your cup of tea. She may act mad or upset at first, but if she is your true friend she will understand and respect your wishes. Otherwise, you are dealing with someone who doesn't respect your wishes and does not base your friendship on honesty...and that's really not a friend at all.
As for the friendship, you can start calling her more, plan to meet up more and make an attempt to bring you guys closer.
I know the position you are in and the advice I am giving you is the exact way I handled it.
2007-01-11 22:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that watching her kids, once in a while - in an emergency is fine. However, you have other obligations and things to do that limit the amount of time you can take care of her children. Your other obligations have to do with your family, errends, taking kids to after school classes, or just time to get dinner on the table. As you mentioned, the friendship has backed off and you have become a free babysitting service.
2007-01-11 22:08:42 · answer #4 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with your friend and have a serious talk with her. Let her know that although you appreciate her friendship, you feel as if she is taking advantage of you somewhat. Let her know that you love to help with her children, but you also need to spend time with your child and you have other plans. Friendship should be respected and not taken advantage of. If she gets upset with you because you were honest with her, then I say find a new friend who will be a true friend.
2007-01-11 22:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask her if she wants a friend or a babysitter. if she gives an easy, what-you-wanna-here answer like, "of course I want you to be my friend, you're always there for me." ask her when the last time was that she took any interest in you life, and bring up something that you've done recently that she doesn't know about. if during this conversation, she is sincere about the friendship, then let her know that you will be there for her, but that she can no longer take advantage of you. if during this conversation, she just doesn't seem to understand what the big deal is, then the friendship is probably not worth saving.
2007-01-11 22:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by hunting wabbit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with her. By both of you not talking to each other it is hurting and ruining your relationship as friends. Once you have talked some bring up the issue of baby sitting her kids. You need to express to her that you have other obligations with your family and you may not be able to watch her kids. And she should not get up set if you say "no". If she is a good friend then she will except this and you and her can move on as friends if not then you need to distance yourself from her even if it means losing her as a friend. Take Care.
2007-01-11 22:12:12 · answer #7 · answered by angels 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is so sad that things like this interferre in friendships, but they do. Tell her no more babysitting because it has stained what was a wonderful friendship. Tell her you want the friendship back, so she should find another babysitter. Only extreme emergency's can you help her with sitting.
2007-01-11 22:07:04 · answer #8 · answered by tamlovinlife2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is the truth.
Tell her on the phone that you are uncomfortable with how the relationship is developing.
Tell her that you are a friend but feel somewhat taken advantage of,which you know she never meant to do.
If the friendship is real,she will accept it.
Remember that you determine how people treat you.
2007-01-11 22:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you don't mind helping when you can, you have your own life to live with your kids.
Hopefully she'll understand.
2007-01-11 22:07:27 · answer #10 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋