Some times, I am wondering if I am really attracted to her? I never sexually ( physically )cheated on her nor thinking about doing it.
What should I do? Should I let my self suffer? I am straight, physically attractive, but suffer in sex..:(
2007-01-11 14:01:07 · 17 answers · asked by reza p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good question...I was sort of the same way. Turned out I had some MAJOR medical problems that caused my low sex drive.
Be brave and go see a doctor.
Good Luck!
2007-01-11 14:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life is short, man. If you're not having a good experience in the bedroom, life must seem like a drag. This is worth spending some effort trying to resolve.
Start with a medical checkup. Make sure there isn't anything wrong with you physically. Have a complete physical exam. Once you rule that out, it's time to go for some counseling. Find somebody competent and explore what's going on in your life that makes you feel the way you do. Maybe you're depressed? And that brings me to another question... Are you on any drugs such as anti-depressants or anxiety meds? That can do it. How about drug or alcohol addiction? That can do it too.
But I guess you know you're missing out on what has to be one of the best things that life has to offer. It must be really frustrating for you. This can't be good for your wife either.
If your wife is physically not attractive, you might need some help in addressing that. Extreme weight gain would be hard to overlook. If that's an issue drag her in to some counseling. If she still looks nice then I'd say you've got a problem and you need to fix it.
If your wife is just a bit chubby and you don't feel attracted to her, you need to get a bit more realistic. A bit chubby is no reason not to be attracted to your wife.
So I don't know... you didn't give me enough to go on so I've guessed at every angle I could. I hope something here at least gives you an idea. Life could be so much better for you and your wife. Invest some time and energy into this one. A divorce can't be that far off if you continue like this -- and that will be hell.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-11 15:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in relationships, people do change. Their attitudes and feelings about the other person changes, as well. Are there problems in the relationship? Has there been illness? These and other factors can adversely affect your sex drive. If you have not thought about cheating on her, you might want to have a complete physical checkup, just to make sure that there is no physical reason for the low libido. If it's not physical, then it may be time to get marital counseling, either together or by yourself. You may sort out your ambiguous feelings, both sexually and emotionally. In the meantime, search your heart and ask yourself are you still emotionally invested in the relationship. If not, that may also be killing your libido. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-11 15:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat as you. If you are not attracted to someone, you cant make them attractive. Counselling, toys, spicing up your sex life wont make the person attractive to you. Attraction is a biological thing as well.
You have to be true to yourself and your feelings. We only live once and you dont want to spend the rest of your life sexually unfulfilled. Life doesnt always work out the way you planned, and you have to look after yourself.
Go and meet up for a coffee with other people in the same situation as you. It is good to have a chat with others and discuss experiences. You can make up your mind then what direction you want to take.
2007-01-11 14:51:08 · answer #4 · answered by Peach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When is the last time you had sex with her? Why aren't you having sex? Did she gain weight? Change? Did you change? Do you love her? Maybe see a counselor. Try new things in the bedroom to get spice back into your life. Try talking to her about the two off you not being sexually active. This must be very hard for her as well. Good luck!
2007-01-11 14:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by chemky1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
same here. Except its me who wants it and him who doesn't. Go figure. He's 43 and I'm 33 and it's been two weeks, and I'm ready to start climbing the walls. It's really driving a huge wedge between us, if I could just get laid, I'd be way happier. I don't nag at him or anything, I just wait to see some sign that he's ready, and none ever surface. I think its a total bummer. I guess pretty soon I'll leave him for someone who will appreciate me in the bedroom, I love sex, and experimenting, and even at 33 I can still say that I look great naked! All that working out has paid off but I'm wasting it with someone who just plain needs a bottle of viagra to get him motivated. You might want to try it, it might rekindle your desires....if only to get you through that 7 year itch stage. Me, I'm thinking of hiding it in his ice cream.....hee hee
2007-01-11 14:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh please--everyone falls into a slump now and then--I am sure you used to be attracted to her and that things are just sort of boring right now--if you want me to say--hey--you are in a boring, sexless marriage--so you poor thing--get out of it--or satisfy yourself with other people--nope--not gonna do it--I think that you just need to spice it up a bit--if you're feeling bored with your wife--sexually bored I mean--chances are she's also feeling bored with you! That's the way it works--so maybe try to be more romantic with her and find out why the chemistry is dying out--fake it till you make it you know?...make some efforts--both of you--and you can rekindle the flames--don't let it die out--
Take the time to find out why you are both losing sexual interest in one another and it will pay off...remember--marriage is for the long haul--and sexual interest and passion are intense and low at different times in a marriage--If you're at a low point--well--do something about it...
Good Luck
2007-01-11 14:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you seen a doctor. Even thyroid problems and affect sex life. Get yourself checked out first. Then, if it isn't medical, sit and think about what happened to the sex drive - too much work, stress, money problems, etc. Then sit and talk to wife and tell her that you are worried about the lack of intimacy between the two of you. If you don't talk to her, the problem will not end by itself.
2007-01-11 14:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More and more I hear, of men having a low sex drive.....I am the one who suffers in my relationship. My husband and I love each other and have great sex, when we do have it. I feel like I want it all the time and he could settle with it about once a week. I think allot of it has to do with stress at home also.
2007-01-11 14:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by veronica c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! dishonest is by no skill the answer you're married and meaning assisting the guy your with, this isn't a open card to flow get some else the position. yet in case you do not search for help for her and also you the marriage will be over quickly. I had this difficulty with my ex- i didn't want him to seem at me or contact me for years notwithstanding it replaced right into a reason I felt that way. refer to her attempt to get severe and that i dont experience you telling her in case your not feed you'll go out for foodstuff, WTF? dude you're inviting issues on your relationship she is incorrect for not pleasing you yet you're incorrect for happening a relationship website. A healthy marriage you may do it some situations per week per chance two times in case you artwork. per chance you're having themes that you're literally not telling us about discover help and if that do not artwork search for pro suggestion per chance its the right who's known with yet in case you adore her try, you married her for a reason. What have you ever and her finished in yet in a special way that ought to reason her to be this type, Is she in simple terms not satisfied anymore refer to her, Love is nicely actual worth the wrestle, at the same time as the wrestle is over then you actual can say you probably did your suitable. good success i desire you adult adult males artwork it out.
2016-11-23 13:09:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋