My wife and I just separated . We have two wonderful children together. I don't think we"ll be back together. How long will the shock and grief last and how do i deal with it??
2007-01-11 13:53:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could take a while to get over what you are feeling...could be as long as a year. Focus on keeping your kids happy and keep yourself busy.
2007-01-11 13:56:59 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a big loss and getting over a divorce can be more difficult than a death. Death is a clean wound but divorce is messy because you have to deal with daily. The grief process can take 1 to 2 years and you will go through periods of Protest, searching, despair, reorganization, and reinvestment. Their is no hard and fast time table, everyone grieves differently. Counseling may help you get though it faster. Divorce support groups are also an option. Try not to put the children in the middle of your differences. They often internalize and think they are the cause of the divorce. Keep an eye on their behavior and get them help if needed. I wish you well
2007-01-11 14:39:35 · answer #2 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sense you have children that makes it even harder.The only thing that helps is when you find someone else .But then the more you see your children the more you start to think of all the good times you and your wife had.Then you look at her and she does something that takes you back to the day you fell in love with her.Her smile becomes much brighter to you,then you realise what a big mistake you have made and how your children have suffered over your separated and in the end you realise is it worth all this.
2007-01-11 15:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but l can't honestly tell you how long before the pain subsides. I know when my husband and l had a brief separation ( only about 3mths )it seemed like an eternity even though l was mad as hell with him it still really hurt. I honestly feel for you, believe me with time and lots of support from family and good friends, you will get through this. Try keeping yourself occupied and stay as busy as you can. The time will pass quicker. Best of luck to you, l wish you much happiness in the future.
2007-01-11 15:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and cry. Look at all the old photos and let it out. Remember the good times. The pain will lessen with time. You are, after all, mourning the death of a relationship.
Now, recall why you are no longer together. There are always things that 'could have' been done differently. You can't change the past. I found a lot of solace in prayer, if you are open to that.
If neither of you is open to counselling and continuing the relationship, just take it one day at a time.
Please, don't ever put your kids in the middle of it. They are hurting enough on their own.
2007-01-11 14:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIME heals all wounds. Keep busy with friends, join a club. It depends how long YOU dwell on it how long it will take to get over. Everyone is different. You can't set a time limit on something like this. I could say 6 months and you just like magic will feel better in 6 months, ...will you?
The more you become involved in something or someone else, the quicker and easier it will be.
2007-01-11 14:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by Deb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The shock will eventually wear off, you'll just have to get used to not seeing your children every day. It will get better, just give it some time. I would recommend spending as much time as you can with family and friends. Don't dwell in the situation, it will only make things worse. Good luck, and it will get better.
2007-01-11 13:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by confused angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never really be over it, you will just adjust meet new people and move on. How anyone can give you a time frame on giving up a dream yo committed to is beyond me. You will grow to be civil for the children(I hope) and start dating and find a new love. May your next relationship be filled with happiness.
2007-01-11 14:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have been told it will take you twice the time period you were together to get over this person, so 5yrs=10yrs. some people recover quicker than others, the best way to help yourself along is to keep busy all the time so you will not ponder this always. find friends or make some to spend time with, be looking for someone else when you feel ready.
2007-01-11 14:01:21 · answer #9 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deal with it by being the best dad to your children and giving them the love and support they need to get through this.That will help take your mind off of your own pain.As far as how long that is up to you.
2007-01-11 14:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by Chi-Chi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can really tell. It all depends on how you and the others faced it.
Remember that life goes on, you need to survive in this world. Do not let by-gones matters to hinder your life. Take each day as it come, and live life to the fullest.
You will return to normal eventually.
Good Luck
2007-01-11 14:01:02 · answer #11 · answered by sonisunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋