Do you think this person is really my friend?

Question

Okay, my friend and I have been best friends for a really long time. So anyways, we've been really good friends since we were little, but now she's changed after a while. She calls me names and tells me that I look ugly. I don't think she means it in a bad way, but she says it because she thinks it's funny and I don't think it's funny at all. She starts laughing when she says something insulting about me. I never tell her anything insulting because I know that insulting other people isn't really that nice. She only thinks about herself and not others. And she rarely says sorry to me. What should I do? Do you think she's really a friend?

The "try talk to her" won't work. I've tried doing this already many times, but she either says "whatever" or she just cuts me off and says, "Let's change the subject". And she changes the subject... so that won't work.

Answer 1

Try talking to her. Are you more attractive than she is? Are you thinner, or better than her in someway? Usually when a person puts us down it's because they are feeling insecure. While it's not your place to solve her problems if she is your friend and you really care about her you might try and find out what she's feeling so insecure about. You'd be killing two nasty birds with one stone that way.

Answer 2

It could just be her personality and attitude, which doesn't excuse her from insulting you. She's lucky to have such a compassionate and understanding friend. I think she needs to know how much her remarks hurt you. Let her know your feelings. Best friends should alwways be honest with each other and if she truly cares, she will curb it, tone it down or not do it again. It's tough for people to change sometimes, but if she persists with her old ways, then maybe it's time for you to find another friend. A real friend doesn't hurt another deliberately like that, think it's funny and not apologize. She has her own issues, but only she can fix it.

Answer 3

♥ That's definitely not a friend, and my old friend was the same way. She would call me fat and ugly.
Even though I knew I wasn't fat, it still bothered me- like it would anyone. Calling me ugly bothered me, too.
I just didn't think it was right to treat a friend this way, so I had to talk to her about it. You need to talk to your friend, too.
Say,"Listen: I know you're just joking when you say stuff like that, but it really hurts my feelings. Sometimes, it doesn't even seem like you're joking.
It just kinda bothers me. I don't want to be a baby or nothing, but it does."
Saying that should make her think about what she's really saying and why it would bother you. You are a person, and you do have feelings.
I had to do the same thing with my friend, and she got mad at me. Don't feel bad for sticking up for yourself.
She will probably get mad and act like you did something mean to her, and that just means that she's not a real friend.
Real friends wouldn't do it in the first place. ♥

Answer 4

I think you should tell her that even though she may not mean harm she does offend you and make it clear that you don't want her to do it. it is possible she is trying to make herself feel better by putting you in the slum. Do I think she is really a friend...that depends on whether or not she stops after you let her know how you feel. You sound like a good person, is possible shes jealous of you.

Answer 5

First of all, no, she isn't really your friend. She may be a long time acquaintance, but not a friend. A friend would never hurt you. Second, you need to be with people who have as much respect for you as you should. Respect yourself and distance yourself from this abusive relationship. You will feel sooo much better.

Answer 6

Wow, with friends like that....

If she seriously doesn't know she's being rude and insulting, maybe a heart-to-heart will help. Otherwise, if she's making you feel bad, lose the toxic relationship.

Answer 7

There is only one way to know and that is forgiving her and telling tell her that you don't like her calling you names and if she respects you after you tell her then keep on. Nobody is perfect.

Answer 8

This is called envy; the trick is that it could pass or get worse your friend is insecure and/or has a bad self image.

Answer 9

She may not even be aware that she is saying these hurtful things.Talk to her about it if you want to continue this friendship.Sometimes people out grow friendships.

Answer 10

Before you go assuming things confront her about how you feel and her reaction will tell you if she really is your friend or not!