My wife and I have been married for 7 years, have 2 boys and like most couples have had our challenges.
We have been to counselling for the past 4 months, both as a couple and individually.
We have not been intimate with each other in 5 months. I admit I wasn't the best emotional support for her but I also know that for 4 years of our marriage I was on effexor ( the highest dose ) and it shut down part of me without me even realizing it. and she kniows this was a major factor.
That said we have decidied to take a break from each other ( still have our date nights, family days etc.. every week ) so she can figure out her feelings. Part of her says the emotional rollercoaster is too much for her, while the other side says she finally has the husband she married again ( I am off the meds for the past 6 months ) one that loves, supports and has become her friend.
She still calls every night and is starting to show postitve signs of affection when we are together.
Thoughts?
2007-01-11 12:53:53 · 16 answers · asked by canadianfinatic1973 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It will take a while to build up the relationship again. Remember you were emotionally unavailable for so long that she has to get used to having you back again. I think that in this case the wife wants to make sure that this is not just a phase that the husband is going through, and if not does she still love and want to be married to him. I encourage you both to continue to seek counselling so that you can work through your issues and I wish you both the best in the decision you come to. You sound like you really want it to work so I hope it does for you sake. Good luck.
2007-01-11 12:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when having problems in a marriage the best thing to do is come together and remember how good of friends you were before. Build on the friendship and the trust again and your outlook seems to sound good. I would suggest to you also, recreating a time when times were good with you and her. Whether it be a dinner out together, a picnic you had, etc. Perhaps, pulling a memory out of her before the kids were born. Shows her you are going the extra mile. Tell her you miss her friendship as well as her companionship. All the best to your family and your boys.
2007-01-11 13:05:20 · answer #2 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's being a bit dramatic and complicating the issue a bit, but that doesn't mean that it won't get better. Infact, it sounds like things are working out, but with all the drama "emotional roller coaster" gah, unless you were on those meds for bipolar disorder she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about and that kind of dramatics might lead to a full turn around and you'll find she's dating another guy. Probably not though, but dramatic people cannot be trusted! I know because I'm one of them.
2007-01-11 13:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you two are on the right path..Just continue down that road and see where it takes you...you cant force love or any emotion..
I know this is a played out saying but if it is meant to be then it will work out
I wish you luck
2007-01-11 13:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by Pretty Princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on getting off the meds sounds like things are going in a positive direction hang in there and good luck.
2007-01-11 13:11:33 · answer #5 · answered by noddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is continue on the path that you're already on. I can understand a woman getting to the point of feeling unloved and hopeless. As long as the love remains and you are both working on your relationship, then you're heading in the right direction.
Good luck!
2007-01-11 12:58:30 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is it that you want from this relationship? Do you want it to work? If so it sounds like she is learning how to deal with it and it sounds like there has been some improvement. If this is what you really want, show her and let her know how you feel and that you are there for her. Do not rush her. Things will work out.
2007-01-11 13:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by L.Sincere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's hope here.... good for you for making changes in your life! I would suggest that if you want to do some really speedy eradication of remaining anxieties and other negative energy blocks, you might want to check out the most effective energy psychology that I know about: Emotional Freedom Technique. It is easy to learn and easy to apply and has made an enormous difference in thousands of lives worldwide. You can download the free "Getting Started" package here> http://tinyurl.com/yh5zhu
God bless you!
2007-01-11 13:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep going ... marriage can be tough as we come into it with past issues but it sounds like you're on the right track. I truly hope you and your wife work things out and are blessed with a long, happy marriage. Peace :-)
Read Dr. Phils web pages on;
"Maintaining A Successful Relationship"
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/142
"Saving A Marriage"
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/349
2007-01-11 14:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Truthfully, your relationship didn't get where it is, overnight. It will, by the same token, not get better, overnight. It will take a long time to repair the damage, but with love and patience, it can be done! I think you have enough of it left to work on.....Good Luck!!
2007-01-11 12:59:23 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋