why do men feel it necessary to keep secrets?

Question

by this i mean why hide things, if you really love the woman you are with be honest up front. Can a man explain why you men are like this?

Answer 1

The same reason that anyone wants to keep secrets. Besides, it's not all men that are like this. Making such generalisations about the genders is probably a cause for your relationship woes. Instead of inappropriately worrying about the fact that your man has a penis and testoterone, why not worry about who he is? People are much more than their genitals.

Answer 2

When you say "why men are like this", I'm not sure I understand. Not all men a like a certain thing. Sure we all do guy things but we're also all pretty different.

Keeping some mystery in things is not a strictly male trait. Women often do the same thing. And let's face it, I don't think we really want to know *everything* about one another. Honesty sounds really good until you take it to an extreme. When you wear a dress that doesn't look good, you really don't want an honest answer when you ask, "Honey, how do I look?". What you really want is a somewhat less than honest answer. The honest answer might be, "You look like hell" where a less honest answer might be, "You have other dresses I like a lot more."

I reeeeeeaaaaalllly don't think men and women want total honesty from each other. And besides, a small amount of mystery keeps things interesting. A man doesn't really want every little detail about what a woman did before she met him. Neither does a woman really want all that detail. There are a lot of things that are better left unsaid.

A good man is going to be honest and upfront about the important things like where he was last night and stuff like that. But he's not going to tell you every little detail of his existence and I don't think any healthy woman wants that.

It sounds like you've met some men who were a little lower on the honest scale than others. Just because you may have had some bad experiences doesn't mean that all men are a certain way.

Hope that helps.

Answer 3

Keeping secrets is not only limit to man, woman does so and almost everyone has 1 of few secrets they keep for privacy.
Is more like human rights. I bet u don't share every single thing with yr husband too right? By getting someone to be honest to u, first u hv to be truth and honest as well to begin off. Sometimes refusal to speak or reveal a certain issue may not necessary be beneficial to u at all. At times by keeping some white lies even enhance relationships. Each gender will tends to take it as only male & female, if a female suffer then the male is to blame. Likewise some male will also do the same. But the actual fact is regardless male or female, everyone does hv secrets they want to keep. So each time u ask that question, somehow , somewhere some man is also repeating what u say too!

Answer 4

Well, most women have secrets, but they are usually about feminine hygiene, or sexual tricks they've learned. A lot of people find this trait mysterious and intriging. I find it good manners not to talk of such things. There is such a thing as conversation etiquette, and yes, some women reveal too much and gross you out. But with some men, SOME, I say, would probably keep mum about things they are not proud of, or things they are embarrassed about, or feel vulnerable about. This is a basic survival trait, to keep your tender underbelly hidden from your attackers. Let's face it, when describing strangers or the general public, you do not hear terms such as compassionate, caring, kind, sympathetic, or tactful. You here more terms like assault, theft, vandalism, and what not. MOST men are not too comfortable even baring their souls to their most trusted friends or his spouse, let alone let their dirty laundry out to flap in a public wind. Or, he may be afraid of your scorn at his keeping something a little mushy, like an old valentines from grade 3. If you're having a fit about this in the first place, it's probably your first clue as to why he didn't want to reveal anything to your judging eyes. Try convincing him in some way that you really ARE on his side, because I doubt he has that feeling now. Lighten up a bit. Just because he's your bf does not mean that you own him or that he owes you.

Answer 5

OK, how big are the secrets? What are they about? Some men just don't like their entire lives revealed to everyone. Women are much more open and they gab with their girlfriends, and sometimes every stinkin' detail is out there for the whole world to know. So as long as the secret really is of no consequence, let your man have it, it makes him feel like there is something still that is just his own.

Answer 6

I think that not all men are like that and it is kind of rude to say that only men keep secrets women do too. I think they are afraid at what you may say. As in you I mean the woman in the situation.

Answer 7

people keep secrets for many reasons. a lot of people have been hurt in the past and are not willing to get hurt again no matter how much in love they are. by the way, men are not the only ones who keep secrets. women are guilty of this as well. probably more than men because we tend to be better liars.

Answer 8

probably the same reason women feel it necessary to keep secrets.

Answer 9

Why must women talk about everything?

Answer 10

Same reason females do.