My daughter just turned 11 years old. We haven´t have 'the talk' yet. The other day, I accidentally walked on her touching herself. I feel that 11 years old is too young to talk about sex. Should I talk to her already?
2007-01-11 12:45:32 · 23 answers · asked by Lauren D 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My oldest child is 6 and I have already begun talking to her about sex...just answering her questions...she's been curious about where she and her brothers came from, etc.
I feel that the earlier the better. Once open communication is established, the awkwardness and embarrassment can be minimal.
Talk to your daughter. She's perfectly normal--be sure to remind her of that :)
Good luck
2007-01-11 12:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should have talked to her years ago. Boys and girls both need to have a family-based foundation for physical and mental changes that will take place in themselves, and among themselves. And don't even get me started about kids needing to know what is and is not appropriate for older kids or adults to be asking for or doing with them.
Too much of the problem with society today is related to lack of education about ourselves and about what's normal. Kids are naturally curious, and if they don't discover themselves by themselves, they'll hear about it or discover it from their friends. When you have "the talk" you can modify any school learning they may have had or will have with your family values.
Whether the exploration you interrupted was just curiosity or was for gratification, "the talk" should be about privacy and respect for ones self and others. How you treat this episode will go a long way towards how she feels about talking with you. From experience, it seems the most effective response to your situation was saying "sorry, didn't know I was interrupting," backing out, and then using the opportunity after a bit to address naturalness, privacy, etc.
On the other hand, since you've not had "the talk" yet, don't go overboard and try to cram what should have been 3-4 years worth of education into one session. If kids know they can come to their parents with questions (about anything, including puberty and discovery) and not be put down or punished or shamed, they will feel not-threatened and age-appropriate discussions can occur at a natural pace over the years, and they will be more educated than their friends, and will be healthier adults when they mature.
Don't kick yourself too much about dallying in the past, but don't continue the head-in-sand perspective. Best of luck to both of you!
2007-01-13 14:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by winefp2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh deffinatly. Kids are curious..I grew up with boys next door, playing doctor was like a saturday afternoon. Just cause I was the oldest and I guess my parents didn't know when "the talk" needed to be in place, truth is it should have been gradually coming from like 3. I don't even think I've had the talk with them yet lol I'll be 18 in 5 months. I know it could have saved me a lot of mistakes. My sister just turned 14 my parents and I have been talking to her since she was 10ish, they don't need detail or anything just the birds and the bees. and how not all guys prince charmings, and there is no such thing as fairytales.
2007-01-12 05:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jen J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An 11 yo girl should have already had a good portion of the talk about her own body. She needs to know about her period, her growth spurt, her hormones (and new attractions to the male sex)masturbation, pregnancy, etc. She probably has had a lot of this instruction in school WITHOUT the appropriate moral and ethical issues involved with sex. Shortly she will need the rest of the talk about intercourse, pregnancy, birth control etc. The MAIN thing she needs the "talk" about is moral and ethical standards, responsibility for her own body, and why abstinence is the best policy until marriage.
2007-01-11 21:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know where you live ?? but in most states by the age of 10 or 11 they are already teaching kids sex ed in school! There is no easy way but she probably has a lot of questions she'd like to ask you. If you could just remember back to when you were an early on coming teenager the way you felt!
2007-01-11 22:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some girls have their period at age 9. What is wrong with you that your daughter doesn't ask you anything about sex? You do not have a good communication. Start building one right away. One that your daughter can ask anything and you will answer with the true nothing but the true. Kids are not stupid and they do know when you are not being completely honest with them. If you have other kids do the very same. Whatever is ask should be answer. Every kid is different and some kids are very inquisitive.
2007-01-15 07:50:10 · answer #6 · answered by Abby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Most kids at 11 today (whether we as parents or a society agree) need to know about sex. It is all around her. Even in the most protected home, it is there...the radio, the TV, magazines that are meant for entirely "neutral" reading and others. It is best she get this from you before she starts to see it elsewhere and really question what she sees, or worse, starts to have an unhealthy attitude about it.
Please do it today.
Good Luck, you'll do great!
2007-01-11 20:50:04 · answer #7 · answered by imoffmynut 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes and 11 isnt too young, girls her age r having sex and if u answer any of these questions they r getting pregnant too. Its a totally different world out there from when we grew up. I would talk to her soon...Good luck
2007-01-12 02:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by eyesopen16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, talk to her... Start early, & keep talking. If it seems more like a regular casual converstation it wont be as awkward. There is no need to make her feel bad about what happened just let her know that she can ask you anything & that you will try to answer her questions a best you can & if you can you will find someone who can! Explain the way her body works & why it works...(Why are so many girls afraid of their bodies) It theirs, they can respect it or not, but you only get 1! There is no such thing as a stupid question. And don't get angry... Anger will scare her and make it feel unsafe to come to you with questions. I believe it is never to early to learn about the body & ways to take care of it!
2007-01-11 20:55:46 · answer #9 · answered by Boppysgirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
11 is too young!? Where have you been?
My mom started talking to me about it when I was four, and now I'm the guy with the least perverted guy around. If anything, 11 is too old, should have been done around 7. Chances are, by now, her friends have told her, and she learned the wrong way.
2007-01-11 21:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by theweirdguy1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋