My husband thinks just cause he pays the bills, he can leave messes everywhere for me to clean up. If I refuse, it causes an arguement. I clean up enough with our two kids. How can I get him to quit being so selfish and throw some trash away for once, or make his laundry INTO the basket instead of in front of it, or stop using one towel at a time when he showers (that drives me INSANE!). How can I get him to realize that I got enough to do around the house instead of cleaning up after him as well. I'm not his mother, she should have finished raising him before she sent him to me! I love him but sometimes I just wanna...grrr...
2007-01-11 12:28:49 · 20 answers · asked by Koozie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I didnt know how he was before we wed Misthink...I wasnt there to clean up after him then, he did himself. And I am not his servant Zether, Im his wife, the bearer of his children. Just because he makes all the money and Im a stay at home mom, does that make it right for me to clean up after him too? What, am I suposed to wipe hi a.ss next? I dont think so! Its hard enough cleaning up after a 21 mo old and 6 mo old, and alot has to do with his mother, she still tries to clean up after him and baby him. I just need help convincing him that hes a big boy now, its time to do big boy things and not expect me to wait on him hand and foot. I never have, and I never will. I do things for him sure, like every wife does, but some things are just ridiculus!
2007-01-11 12:39:00 · update #1
Until you stop, he will never start. Does he get embarrassed if his friends see the house a mess? If so, don't do a thing for a week and invite HIS friends over to dinner or something and let them see for themselves. If he knows they coming and says he wants the house clean, GET SICK as a dog. You can't work when you're sick. Tell him he'll have to do it before they come and see what happens. If he doesn't care, start throwing everything out that isn't put back(just dump in a garbage bag or can and hide for a while). Tell him, "I didn't see it hon, where did YOU put it last?"
2007-01-11 12:36:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good Luck, there are many ways to handle it, if you can figure out a loving and rewarding way, that might be the best route. Or, hire a cleaning woman, one who specifically picks up his messes. Then there's no fight, no nagging etc. When he asks you about the bill, you just tell him, in a matter of fact way, "Hey honey, you seem to be incapable of picking up your own crap, and I'm so busy, grocery shopping, feeding, playing, cleaning up with the kids, the laundry, the basic household stuff, that I needed to hire someone to handle your messes." If he has half a brain, he will either say, "OK, keep the help." or he will say, "hm, maybe I could pick up after myself." OR, your hubby is just a total pig and you deal with it the best way you can. Sorry.
2007-01-11 12:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing he was like this before the children came and he's hasn't changed.
When you're not angry you should tell him that you're proud of how he financially takes care of the family......but after he gets off work his day is finished.
However you're day never ends and it would make things a little easier for you if he would clean up after himself.
That way you won't be mad and tired all the time and you'd be a better wife and companion to him.
2007-01-11 12:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL the day my exhusband came home from work and cleaned up the house after I had just cleaned up after our one yr old son and his 8 yr old son, that was the day i didn't clean his castle anymore.. lol told him if he wanted his castle he was going to clean it himself i had enough to do and since he'd say i didnt do anything all day but sit around with the kids he was gonna find out just how wrong that was..
Good luck :)
2007-01-11 15:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mouseling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure wish i knew the answer to that. i have been living with my bf for a year and its hopeless. I finally decided its just easier to pick up after him than to fight with him, the way i see it is, he could be doing worse things. i am sure with two kids its even more frustrating. i think in a lot of cases, its a losing battle....unless you do the wifeswap thing...have you seen that show before, when the mamas come home, their men have completely turned around LOL
2007-01-11 12:35:38 · answer #5 · answered by aprilfools1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mum probablydid everythiong for him so you have a big problem. Seems like he is a male chauvanist. Try not cleaning anything until he ends up doing it and will realise how difficult it is to clean and more importantly to keep clean.
2007-01-11 12:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did with my husband:
Clean up after yourself and your children. Do NOT wash anything of his that isn't in a laundry basket. Don't take care of any of his crap that's not where it belongs. Once he sees what a damn mess he's leaving everywhere, maybe he'll realize how much you really do.
2007-01-11 12:32:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time he is off from work, let him take care of the kids, while you are gone all day, let him cook, clean, do lundry and feed bath the kids,everything you normally do, put them to bed, maybe he will appreciate you more!!!
Good luck!
2007-01-11 12:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by Dixie Deb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't generalize. I clean my castle all the time! That is your mans problems and evidently yours too. Ask him to clean up his mess and if he doesn't leave it there or toss it in the garbage. If you deciede to leave it where he leaves it make sure you invite his mother (friends, boss) over and explain to her (them) what he does.
2007-01-11 12:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Sir 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know the saying you don't notice something is not done until no-one does it. my mom once left the dishes go all the the way to the floor my dad came home one night and did those dishes for 3 hours never said another word~
2007-01-11 12:33:21 · answer #10 · answered by pa625 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋