My neighbor is an attractive, blond women in her mid-thirties. She has one young daughter. We are good friends and often chat, borrow things etc all very friendly. Her husband works constantly, is never at home and is very un-attentive to his family generally. Thier home is un-tidy because of this and I can see both she and her daughter are very unhappy. I'd like to ask her (& daughter) out for lunch or take them to the beach because they do not get this sort of treat. I believe they have financial problems also. If I do this, maybe it will be read the wrong way? Should I ask or just sit by and do nothing? I am 40, ok financially and have time on my hands and like her company but obviously don't want to cause issues. I just feel they need some good times also not constant boredom.
2007-01-11 11:51:33 · 9 answers · asked by robjoss 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Answer coming
While your "intentions" are very nice, & thoughtful, you need to consider from what only you can perceive or speculate, what the consequence could be. From what you say about the husband, I suspect he wouldn't take it kindly. This could adversely impact all of you. It's an evaluation only YOU can make. I'm certain the wife & daughter would love it, but not "implications" assumed from the neglectful husband. Whether consciously aware or not, he would be on the defensive & YOU would be the target.
Edit: zumi made a very good point--to include others. Tony Ryan is overlooking that it wouldn't be just "their" problem. & I honestly don't feel that--however it was stated--that you have a need--I see what you expressed as thoughtful & kind. Just be cautious.
2007-01-11 11:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question... bad topic. I think you are asking because you know deep inside there is something that would not be quite kosher about just doing what you feel.
You really don't want to open that can of worms. Your concern is touching but also indicates that maybe you need a healthier lifestyle of your own - like finding available companionship with no dangerous ties... you are the wrong age to be a friend to the daughter (not certain of her age but do the math)... and you certainly should not befriend the wife and not the husband.
What if you made arrangements with a date of you own to invite the husband and wife or even the family over for a friendly BBQ or for a movie night?
You are treading in treacherous waters (and I don't mean the beach) when you step into a family situation such as you described. You don't know all the facts... if you are not seeing bruises or hearing cries of pain coming from their home.
Besides, how honest are you being about your intentions... you describe her as being "an attractive blond"... would you really want to be so "helpful" if she looked like Rosie? HMMMM?
I guess you really should just mind your own business and find other ways to express your "compassion" for lonely mothers... hate to sound rude - just being honest - afterall - you did ask Yahoo.
2007-01-11 20:05:47 · answer #2 · answered by wonderful1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky situation, but I think if handled the right way, you can see to it that her and her daughter get to enjoy a very good deserved day.
I would get a big party going. Let her know that you, your friends, and family are having a beach party or barbecue. Organize it so she and her daughter feel safe. It wouldn't sound like you're getting in there business. It would just sound like you are being a good neighbor. It wouldn't hurt to invite a neighbor or two. It doesn't need to be anything extravagant, just something that you know would be fun. Good luck to ya.
2007-01-11 20:00:54 · answer #3 · answered by zumi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although I do believe that your intentions are pure there is an old saying -- dont s*** where you eat. If you were eventually to become really close friends (just friends) with this woman it could be misinterpreted and things could get bad and then you have to still live next door to them.
2007-01-11 20:50:42 · answer #4 · answered by lynjen31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what some others have said.
I wouldn't do it. Her hubby will probably knock on your door and want to know what you are doing with his wife.
You do seem to have good intentions but I would just leave it alone otherwise you could start a fight between her and her hubby and yourself and then you have to live next door to them, it won't make it easy for you.
2007-01-11 23:24:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think that you should go for it and specifa that you are doing it as a friend, if he takes it the wrong way or anybody else does, that's their problem.
2007-01-11 19:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Offer "free" tickets to something (say they were given to you) or send her something anonymously to help her get out and have fun. I am in her shoes and yeah...it would be uncomfortable to out right ask.
2007-01-11 20:08:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do it, its a sweet gesture and if you don't want to give thwrong impression than make sure you don't say anything to give her any kind of impression
2007-01-11 19:56:08 · answer #8 · answered by thisisabsurd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 that would mean she cheated on her huby
2 you are a perv
2007-01-11 19:55:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋