mark has been dating on and off his old high school gf(jen) for the 20yrs untill 3yrs when he meet me.they have never been married or have any kids together but they have some bond that keeps him going back to her like every 6-7yrs.the last time they "hooked up" he left his 1st wife and child for her.he only stayed with her for a few mons because his ex threatened to take his kid away from him.that was 6yrs ago and his exwife is remarried and now could care less who he dates which leads to this problem. jen is still single, local,and after my husband.i've found emails from her to my husband,she contacted him on myspace ect.the problem is i stumbled apon these myself mark did not tell me about any of this.when i asked him about this stuff he just blew it off as no big deal.i'm just worried now that his exwife is calmed down he could leave me and go back with jen.i do know they have some kind of bond but if he loves her so much why can't he stay with her?
2007-01-11 11:35:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
and if he does not love her why does he allways end up going back to her
2007-01-11 11:36:18 · update #1
He's a pu*ssy. You married a pu*ssy. You need to beat some sense into him.
2007-01-11 11:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that she hasn't let go...and perhaps she keeps enticing him back... and I would say it's because he reminisces over the sex they use to have. he wonders if shes the same, he wonders if he still has it. Even when you are married a man likes to feel like he still has it. But the ones that act upon it, obviously don't respect the marriage or relationship that they do have. It's all very complicated. I think she is as much a part of the problem as he is....
If you don't make him account for his decision to keep in touch with her...it is again likely that he will go back to her...perhaps only for meaningless sex, and possibly more seriously leaving you for her. You need to lay down the rules of marriage.....
2007-01-11 12:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just love each other and have some sort of cosmic attachment to each other that no one else in the world will understand and just because they love each other does not mean they are meant to be together. My ex boyfriend and I are like that. I say that you sit down and talk with him and let him know how serious this is to you and try to talk to her as well. No one likes to have a broken heart and I suggest you nip this in the bud while you can.
2007-01-11 11:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jen is not his love, his habit. people cant let go of their habits easily..specially which are 20 or more years old. Only your husband can solve this problem. You have to tell him how u feel about the whole thing and how insecured u r. If u, your husband and Jen can sit together and talk it out, it's better. He's probably miserable and confused as Jen isnt' letting him go.Tell him he needs to sort out his feelings. If he doesn't love her, he should tell her to stop sending him emails like that.he doesn't deserve you if he doesn't let go of his past.take care of yourself and don't let anyone break your heart.good luck:)
2007-01-11 11:45:30 · answer #4 · answered by Beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy goes back to her then i would lock the doors on him. Sounds to me like he is not willing to let her go. I would tell him if you catch anymore emails or if you find out that there still comunicating he is out of there. How can your love be real if he doesnt let her go. I would lay down the law. There is no since in this. You could make him let her go. I would also tell her to back off. IF they want to be togeather that bad then maby they should be and never seperate agian.
2007-01-11 11:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by redfirecracker2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually if he is your husband, he should not even think for a newyork minute about any other women, i think that maybe you guys shuld consider marriage counseling, becuse honesty is something that you guys should of had before you guys got married. dont get me wrong, i still talk to my ex boyfriend, but to a certain extent(and my boyfirend knows i talk to him) Maybe after you've been with someone for a long time and there was actually "something" there you cant leave them alone. I talk to my ex, but i tell him about my bf and he tells me about his gf.theres nothing wrong with keeping in contact because if you really loved someone you would want to keep in contact with them, you know make sure they're still breathing.but still he should have told you about his myspace incidents. and most likely she has something about her that he doesnt like, thats why he didnt stay with her, you can always love someone or have "love" for someone, but theres a big difference when your IN love with someone. And you never know maybe he didnt tell you because he thought you would over react because of what he told you about him and his first wife. But still HONESTY is the first step to a good relationship.Just try to have a talk with him, if he really loves you he'll sit down and tell you how he really feels.If this doesnt work i would (like i said before) try marriage counseling. I hope this is helpful to you Ps(if they broke up it was for a reason, yeah the bond might still be there, but maybe they are just good friends, if he broke up with her once, most likely he wont go back with her. PLUS THEY HAVE BEEN OFF AND ON WHICH MOST LIKELY MEANS IT WAS A FRIEND- TURNED INTO A FLING- TURNED INTO A RELATIONSHIP KIND OF THING. JUST THINK ABOUT THIS- IF HE REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH HER HE WOULD HAVE MARRIED HER AFTER HIS 1ST WIFE OR BEFORE YOU, BUT HE CHOSE YOU, SO THERES GOT TO BE SOMETHING THERE WITH YOU THAT HE DOESNT HAVE WITH HER
2007-01-11 11:59:16 · answer #6 · answered by Quilly Millz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is sad. You are trapped in this triangle. Mark is happy with a wife because she takes care of the house. Mark goes back to Jen because she gives it to him the way he likes it. Going by his track record, clearly if it's not you it will be someone else.
No one seems to have given him a taste of his own medicine. I bet you he won't like it.
2007-01-11 11:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by prtybrwnskn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cause she's sick. She likes to be wanted, and she wants him to want her, so she'll say whatever she has to say to get him back, and he probably has the DID syndrome. Damsel in Distress, so he has to go save her. He has to stop the relationship, and that's it. I don't even think a friendship is safe at this point considering their history. If he's serious about you, he'll stop, otherwise you move on.
2007-01-11 11:40:46 · answer #8 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you dump him before now ? clearly he isn't willing to let go of this other woman, and he keeps going back to her after all these years? baby he's using you,,, get rid of him.. If i had to worry about stuff like that, trust me i would not do it. I love me and my life way to much to stoop where someone whats me to be.
2007-01-11 11:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married the wrong guy first of all. He is always going to have something to do with her because he is comfrotable with her. You should tell him either her or you and that will put him on the spot.
2007-01-11 11:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by bonham_2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't stay with her beacause he knows deep down inside she not good for him in the long run...hey them boys know who to take home to mama:) Don't fuss and become the *itchy wife
2007-01-11 11:49:27 · answer #11 · answered by miay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋