I am 22 and just had my second child six weeks ago. My problem is my husband. He was extremely jealous and insecure when I was pregnant, accusing me of using my mom or my cousin as an alibi to cover up cheating, and going through my phone. He would accuse me of cheating at work, or with men that he saw in our apartment complex (there are over 100 units.) He was ok for a while, but now that I have Post Partum depression, he has started up again. If I am crying, he says that it's because I have cheated and now feel guilty. If I express feelings of worthlessness or failure (all a part of PPD), he says that I don't want the kids because I didn't have them with a black man (he's half white/mexican, I'm black). I try to give him info on PPD to read, but he refuses to believe that it's a real illness and threatens to leave if I don't "get over it". How can I get through this? I've attempted suicide 3 times. I'm tired of being accused of cheating and being insulted when I am most vulnerable.
2007-01-11 11:25:30 · 14 answers · asked by rtobor84 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, NO MAN on this earth is worth you killing yourself over. If you have not given him any reasons for his doubts, then he's the one with the problem and NOT you. I would give him an ultimatum. Either he changes his stupid jealousy, or he's out of there. You just had his baby for goodness sake. He should be loving you and taking care of you and not treating you like dirt. Girl, get some counseling and talk to your mom. If you can move in with her, then do it. I would not put up with an unreasonable and insensitive man. He's got issues that he needs to deal with and you shouldn't have to live in hell for sins you have not committed. Don't let him get the best of you. Wise up and show him that you will not put up with that type of behavior.
Please, DO NOT do anything to harm yourself. Nothing in this world is worth your life. Your children need you and they need you healthy!! Take care of yourself!!
2007-01-11 12:01:05 · answer #1 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Straight up, an insecure man that verbally abuses you and blames you and puts you down is NOT a good man. A good husband would bring you up, give you all the love of the world you deserve, praise you, love you for you, and above all TRUST YOU. HE SHOULD TRUST YOU. Why do you stay with a man that makes you cry? Why do you stay with him that makes you depressed and hate you? That type of man is not good hunny. Please for your sake, get rid of him. Let him go. Or perhaps you're insecure yourself? Thinking no one will ever love you again? Believe me, there will be someone who will love you and praise you. You deserve better than that ****. He is insecure because he thinks you will leave him. And its for a lot of reasons. Don't stay with him. In many cases a jealous husband will kill his wife or abuse you to no end. If he loves you he wouldn't abuse you. Stand up, he's worthless and probably thinks you wont leave him. You deserve a second chance. Please...for your sake...LEAVE HIM. LEAVE HIM. Go to Jesus and pray for a better man.
God bless you.
2014-04-29 23:22:56 · answer #2 · answered by Charlene 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all, i'm sorry for you feeling the way you do. i to am going through sorta the same things. i'm 21 and have 3 children, one which i had 3 weeks ago.
1. CRY on my shoulder and know that I am someone who wants to be there for you to talk to.
2. Ignore him...you may be 22 but you know better as a mother or a partner.
3. Let him know how much you love him and explain that you have mixed emotions at this time and will need emotional support not a drag down jealousy street because he feels insecure himself.
4. Reassure him everytime he isn't talking about it that you love him and would never come to mind about doing such a thing.
5. Don't hurt yourself!!! I;ve tried that and it only made me feel worse!!!
6. Lastly, I was hoping that your man would have a heart...but if you are tired of the insults, go on and cheat!!! Tell him that you did it because he kept telling you to do so.
Go on and kick butt, GIRL!!!
2007-01-11 14:48:09 · answer #3 · answered by omiluv 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you not only stay with this guy, but keep popping kids in addition? You're 22, for crying out loud - you're a kid yourself! First and foremost - get on birth control a.s.a.p., it is the best prevention for PPD. Talk to your dr. for the options that are right for you. Second - your husband sounds like he has a psychiatric problem. I would recomment for him to see a psychiatrist or a counselor, but I don't imagine he will go. I don't know what you, yourself, could do to make him change; I have no idea what possessed you to marry such a dysfucntional person to begin with, but I assume he has redeeming qualities. Perhaps you can just learn to ignore his dysfunction, and focus on the good qualities. Don't use him as a confidant if all he does is put you down - confide in your friends and family instead. Work on getting over your PPD. Good luck.
2007-01-11 11:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want to be happy, that you want to have a husband and children, a family your whole life in order to be happy, and that cheating on him would make you loose him and the family that you already have to be happy.
So you will never cheat because that will not make you happy.
Tell him that you love him and you want him to be happy and that you know that if you cheat, he will not be happy.
Girls are very smart so I bet you will find the way of saying something that you know that will make him think or change
You are right he is very insecure and if he doesn´t change or at least try you will have to leave him because even if you love him you will not be happy.
I don´t know if this can help you, but I hope it does.
2007-01-11 18:14:46 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whenever someone accuses another person for anything, that person is guilty for some reason. You should ask him what is he guilty of while he continues to harass you about messing around on him. Have you ever cheated on him? Are you giving him any reason to feel insecure? He just probably needs a little lovin. I hope you are on antidepressant for your illness. If you are taking antidepressant, it will decrease your sex drive so I hope you get well soon.
2007-01-11 11:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling, they will give you drugs to take that edge off, so you won't feel that PPD, I feel so bad for you, he needs to understand that his accusations are ruining your marriage. Seek counseling is the best advice I can give. Bless you girl, for what you went through.....Good luck.
2007-01-11 11:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity and constant accusations are some of the signs a woman sees before her man begins to get violent. I suggest you let him leave or leave him, he does not sound too emotionally stable.
2007-01-11 11:38:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It saddens me that folk take marriage so gently, as though it have been a stress by way of subscription the place a million can cancel whilst ever they choose, identity opt to work out marriage as a a million off factor till between the companions die, thats the way it is going to be, then human beings might pick greater heavily. You dont handle what you probably did to make him react that way. Divorce is the hassle-free way out for the vulnerable. you ought to purpose make him sense greater shield, cease agravating him, its no longer all approximately you. I say you ought to take day holiday from one yet another with little to no touch and see in case you pass over one yet another, do you sense ok residing devoid of him, purely p.c.. a bag and go away a word provide him a time-physique so he can artwork his sh1t out, bout 4 weeks ought to do it. a million greater factor you stated your grown infants or maybe blamed them for a manner can they permit this ensue to me, did it ocurr to you that they dont opt to injury your emotions, or in keeping with threat you are the concern. i understand this messafe seems harsh yet understand there are 2 sides to the story and im purely attempting to verify between the traces, dont be indignant ok, im attempting to approach it from the two sides. good success
2016-10-07 00:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by hobin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to deal with him.....for your sake and the sake of your children leave this man.
He's toxic.
You need a good support system preferably your family and you should seek counseling for yourself.
Your children need their mother....please don't stay in this relationship any longer.
2007-01-11 11:42:57 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋