I need a Psychological perspective...?

Question

I've come to recognize a very odd character trait of my older brother that's gotten to be quite annoying. This is what happens - I'll mention to him that something about someone bothers me and that I don't think that person likes me very much either - and he'll either confirm it by saying something like "yeah I can see that" and then chime in with "but they like me." He does this almost anytime I bring up someone not liking me - or he'll say Mom loves me more, and on that note our little cousins were over our house the other day and he literally out of the blue says "you know they love me more." The reason it gets to me is that it's just so random and it's really annoying. I guess my question is what causes that sort of behavior? I understand that this is a vague topic and hard to pinpoint without some analysis but generally what causes this form of behavior from someone? Anyone with experience think they can help me out? My brother is 27 and I'm 22

Answer 1

Wow, until you told your ages, I thought we were talking middle school. Your poor brother is so insecure (and at 27! my, my) that he has to constantly tell himself he is loved.

As far as sharing your intimate thoughts and concerns, this is not the safe place it should be. You need to stop looking to your brother for advice, consolation, acceptance, I am sorry to say. Place this confidence with a close friend. I am afraid your brother is not up to the job. What a shame. But you need to protect your heart. By the way, your family loves ALL of you. Spend more time with the family members who are good in your life. Best of luck.

Answer 2

He's jealous of you. Maybe you have more going for you in your love life, job, or whatever and he resents that. Especially if he's older it might make him feel inadequate if he thinks your 'better' then he is. So if he feels as though he finally excels at being a people person he feels the need to rub it in your face. As if to say "there, your not perfect. HA!" It happens. He might just be going through a rough time right no (lost the job, his girlfriend, etc) and maybe bugging you like that gives him some form of catharsis.

I have to twin brothers and they both do crazy stuff like that to each other all the time. It should blow over eventually. If it gets to the point when you can no longer take the drama you might want to sit down with him and ask him about what's been going on in his life lately.

Answer 3

First of all, dont feel bad, the problem is him and not you.
Basicially, it seems to me that your brother is just insecure and feels that noone loves him so he tries to fight against it and says what he says to either block out what he doesnt want to believe or reinforce what he wants to believe. Thats my answer if you ask me. What you can do to get to the root of it all is simply ask him why he repeatedly and random says things like that.

Answer 4

You have conditioned your brother to do this by pointing out to him people who do not like you. You need to stop this pattern in order to break it. He would not have started this had you not trained him to do so. I suggest that you start pointing out people who do like you to see if that will reverse it.

If he were acting this way "out of the blue," then I would think that it would be "his" problem, but since you are initiating this you need to be the one to change it after you've programmed him to act like this.

Answer 5

Really bad answers here. Why don't you talk to HIM about it, instead of coming on the Internet for a wire analysis. Perhaps he can tell you, or you both can go to someone to arbitrate the situation.

Answer 6

He probably does it because he knows it bugs you. If you live together at your parents' home, move out.