Young age and engagement...Should I or not??

Question

Okay well my boyfriend and I have been together for 2years he has bought me a wedding ring with a band. We have talked about getting engaged for awhile now. I am younger than him by two years so he is more ready than I am. I love him I really do and I want to get engaged but I am nervous that being younger than him I will be making a bad choice by getting engaged so young because it is a big step in a persons life. I think that getting married is a bigger step than getting engaged because marriage is a sealed bond and engagement is just planning to get married. I dont want to break up and it would be worse to break up while you are engaged that is why I am unsure of what to do. What should I do? I mean we wont be getting married anytime soon. But do you think we should be together for a couple more years and then get engaged or be engaged for as long as we need to be until we get married? I have an idea of what to do but he has already gotten a ring for me and I dnt want 2 let him down

I have a plan on what to do. I believe we should be together for about 3 years and be engaged for 2 years but I suppose it wont hurt to be together for 2 years and be engaged for 3 years. What do you think?? I want to say yes because this is the guy that I want to be with for the rest of my life. I have been thru soo much with him and I would be a fool to pass that up. He loves me more than any other man could. All other guys dont like me for me they like me in the wrong ways and that means they dont respect me. I think I am making the right choice with this but I am younger and things do change in life but this I want to remain the same. I was thinking about it being a promise ring until our anniversay June 9th and I will be a year older then so I might do that and just take it slow and be precautious. And not rush and hopefully he will understand...Leave comments and lots of advice kk

I am excited to be getting proposed to but I always like to be sure first and I have not really have time to think. We have always talked about getting engaged but I was not sure when it was going to happen so I am more in shock mode but I guess that when I feel the ring on my finger that I will feel a lot different. Well leave comments

Answer 1

The fact that you are questioning the idea of getting engaged, should really be the answer that you need. As you have said, you are young. There is plenty of time to get engaged and if you aren't ready there is nothing wrong with that. Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and let him know of your doubts. The fact that you are having doubts should tell you that you aren't ready to take that next step in your relationship and there's nothing wrong with taking your time. Don't worry about letting him down. You can't make major life choices just because you are afraid of letting someone else down. The only person you'll end up hurting is yourself.

Answer 2

You might want to make it a "promise" ring. Its kind of a prelude to engagement. It tells the world that you two want to get married someday but you just aren't ready to make that step toward marriage.

Being engaged should really happen when you are ready to start planning your wedding and life together as a married couple.

I was engaged for two years and it just kind of got ridiculous after a while - we weren't moving forward on our life together but we had a commitment to get married. We kept postponing the wedding and ended up breaking up because it didn't seem he really wanted to take that step.

You might want to ask him in a friendly way what he sees marriage as - how does he see the man's role and the woman's role in marriage and see if it meshes with what you want - marriage can change people and the way they treat each other.

Marriage is as much a business arrangement as it is a romantic ideal. When do you want to go into "business" with this person? What do YOU want from being married?

Answer 3

You sound like you have a very proper idea of marriage. I won’t try to sway your thinking. Marriage is not just a bed of roses. It takes a lot of effort and commitment to make it work. Difficulties WILL happen, but a strong love and commitment will help to resolve the issues that arise. Men and women think differently and it takes time and effort to understand those differences. Patience, communication and adaptability are vital for success.
Knowledge alone is not enough for success. Wisdom comes with age so the longer you wait to be married; the more likelihood for success. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t make it work. You didn’t mention age, but my advice is to wait till your late 20’s or early 30’s, but I have seen successful marriage started in their teens.
You sound like an intelligent young lady and don’t let his thinking fully control your emotional stand. If you can both sit down and find common, then you will do fine.
I wish you the best.

Answer 4

I married young and my husband is 10 years older. It does not matter at all. If he is truly the man of your dreams then go for it. BTW, I was engaged for 6 months and I thought that was too long :) when you know you are ready to be engaged you should be ready to get married. I would not wait longer then a year.

Answer 5

If you are having this many issues with it, you're probably not ready. Engagement should be an exciting time.

By the way I am two years younger than my husband and it doesnt' make a lick of difference.

Answer 6

It sounds like you are unsure of your relationship. You should not get engaged if you are unsure. If you know he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with but would like to do some growing first, then you could get "pre engaged" or engaged and not set a date for awhile. Good luck.

Answer 7

How old are you ?
Over 18 ?
Don't invest more than 2 - 3 yrs on a relationship without marriage.
This includes engagement time..

Answer 8

I would suggest working out your problems first before getting engaged, because marriage is a BIG committment and you want to go into it knowing exactly where you stand.
My husband is 6 yrs older than me and it doesn't bother me one bit.

Answer 9

If you're this confused about it then DON'T do it. Make sure before you leap because it's a big emotional and financial mess to undo. I know I'm a lot older than you and you need to listen. So I repeat DON'T do this until you are sure!!!!!

Answer 10

You sound really young to be thinking of marriage or even "playing house" like you are currently doing. Move out and move back with your parents!