How to deal with Wife traveling for work??

Question

I am newly married and my wife is a flight attendant. She loves her job. Doesn't do it for the $$$. I just feel left behind and like she doesn't even mind not seeing me for 8-10 nights a month. Or care about not talking more than 20min a night when gone at times. Do I just love her more?

Answer 1

Hmmm... Tough situation. Sometimes people don't call home when on trips because it makes them more homesick. Sometimes it's easier just to stick your head in the sand when out of town.

If you trust her, you need to find a way to deal with this. If she is worthy of your trust, then this is your situation to deal with as you can. If you do not trust her, that is a different story. Then you have to decide if your distrust is valid or not. If it is, you need to deal with that along with her. It your distrust is unwarranted then that's yours to deal with.

You might need the help of a close friend or a pastor or a counselor or some trusted person who you think is level-headed.

Sounds to me like you want more of your wife than you are getting. And if you can't be together as much as you would like, what's the point in being married?

You've got some thinking to do and then you need to get out a phone book and make some calls and talk to some people. You need input from others. Start with you and then decide if you need to involve her in this. She may or may not have anything to do with it.

Good luck.

Answer 2

How can you sit and ask these questions when the decision was made when you two got married. She did have this job at that time, right? So, you need to make up your mind about what type of marriage relationship you want, a flight attendant or an eight to five (if she just has to work). Then discuss your decision with her to let her know how you feel.

Answer 3

No, you just sound insecure. If you love her and she loves you then you trust her. That's part of it. She is working, and so she may be tired or need to find a restaurant for dinner. When you have to be nice to people you don't always feel like talking when you are off. My husband travels for work too and if I didn't trust him it would be hard on both of us. He doesn't talk more than a few minutes, but hes quiet at home too. And I know he hates to be away, but he has to so that's that. Not seeing him is not my favorite thing, but its a honeymoon every time he gets back. Think of it that way and maybe you will feel better, and happier when you see her.

Answer 4

No, she loves you because she married you. Get a hobby or something to do when she is gone. She is use to being on the road and away from home, so just because she doesn't want to spend every night talking to you on the phone (all night) is not unusual. Give her a break and stop reading between the lines.
Most people who travel and must spend time away from home normally find things they like to do in the places they travel. Like shop, sight see, or just hang out with co-workers.

Answer 5

A lot of women derive their self esteem through work. I know that I do. I travel quite a bit to Asia and my husband is having a hard time dealing with it. Just in the next 3 months, I wll be gone 6 weeks total. I love my husband more than anything and I hate being gone, but I feel good about my work and what I do. My husband hasn't officially asked me to get another job, but he has hinted at it several times. Don't do that, don't make your wife choose between a job she loves and you. You know whe will choose you, but she will probably end up resenting you. Love your wife for who she is. You knew she had this job when you married her. Get involved if you can. Use her discount to go places with her, especially if neither of you have kiddos yet. Try to make the best of it. I promise your wife does not love her job more than you.

Answer 6

Hi there, I went through something like this with my husband too. Not even a month after we got married his job had him traveling and he was gone AT LEAST every other week, and he was gone for at least a week straight. It was really hard to adjust to. He did that for 2 and 1/2 years. He finally doesnt have to travel anymore, thank goodness! I love having him home. Its really hard when you are the one "left behind". But just keep your chin up! I am sure she misses you just as much as you miss her. And when she gets home from her next business trip, plan a lovely dinner for her and let her know how much you love her.

Answer 7

She was probably a flight attendant before you married her right? But I am going to say something different then everyone else - it probably bothers you more now because you married her which obviously means you want to spend your life with her - and every minute if you can..... You miss her and I think that is sweet. I am sure she loves you too but unfortunately that is her job... Could you maybe work part time??

Answer 8

OK- my husband is a pilot and I've been there. You can try going on a couple of trips with her. You can also try being part of the aviation community around you- there are MANY in your place.

Many insensitive people have commented to me about pilots having affairs with flight attendants. I answer that if that happened, I would call the partner of the flight attendant and ask him on a date... he probably is lonely and boy would we have a lot to talk about!

hang in there... you are angry and lonely and need to make some changes. How about learning how to fly?

Answer 9

Maybe, but it's a job that comes with these drawbacks. You knew that from the start and you have to deal with it. As for why she does not want to talk for long is another question, maybe she is just not the talkative type? Maybe she is tired from all the travelling?
w

Answer 10

She had that job before you married so now is not the time to complain use the time spent together very very wisely, and absence do make the heart grow fonder.