know him for tow years.. we never had sex.. because I wanted to marry first.. and he respect my decision.. we had have Inactive sex.... and we love each other so much in fact we are getting married summer 2007...so I asked him if he can get tested.....he ask me why.. I told him because its a normal think people do before marriage.. he said he was a virgin and he didn't have sex... and he saved him self for me... hes 25 I am 21...but I didn't believe him and ..we went to the Doctor and he was negative I felt so bad.. he didn't talked to me for a week but finally he calls me last night .. I apologize to him and he expect it .. is what I did what worg.. ???!!!!
2007-01-11 09:45:54 · 19 answers · asked by heregoagain_1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, I am very glad to hear you both are waiting until you are married. I think maybe he got a little upset because the subject may be a sensitive one to him. It is perfectly okay to ask someone to get testest because you just never know. He is most likley upset with the fact that you didn't believe him, or maybe he felt you did not trust him. I think maybe the whole situation was just miscommunication, he will come around and you did your best by apologizing and he can't ask for more. I think in this day in age, most people think guys beyond a certain age are not virigins, I feel a lot are, or they just lie about it. I don't think there is anything wrong in being a virgin at 25, my husband and I were until we got married 6 months ago and we're 21-22, but the point is we waited. Do you think he is embarrassed he is still a virgin? Maybe that's why he is sensitive about it? Either way, it sounds like just a small normal disagreement that comes with the territory of being engaged/married. Congratulations and good luck!
2007-01-11 09:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by maldmb03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see your point of view. The fact that a man says he is a virgin at 25 is kind of hard to believe. With all the diseases and things that are out there now I would be concerned as well. I think that it hurt him that you didn't take his word but some men will lie about anything. So no I don't think you were wrong. He should have told you that he was a virgin when you said that you wanted to get married first then you wouldn't have asked him to get tested.
2007-01-11 17:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly. Trust is everything. But knowing is security. There was nothing wrong with wantin to be sure. Whether he was a virgin or not, there are some STD's that can be transmitted even before you go all the way. So being careful about issues like that is no problem. But pick your battles. He took the test anyway because he loves you and wanted to prove it. No you prove yours and once he opens back up to you, be there for him.
2007-01-11 17:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by beautyzhername 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you have done was to make sure you won't become a victim of any disease. You're boy friend or fiancee pride was hurt by your suggesting, and I believe he will get over it. If you still remain guilty of something you have done righteously.
Tell your fiancee that you wanted him to know that you (not him) your (female) body is pure and it was very important to you that both of must learn to trust each other. Be very romantic and expressive toward him, and allow the subject to be in the pass.
He may say to you "You didn't trust me, huh?'
Tell him, "We still have a lot to learn from each other, and it was not a matter of trust, but matter of the love I have for you"
Always express love and affection to him..God Bless and good luck
2007-01-11 18:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it wasn't wrong but it did put him in a bind cause you didn't believe him. I'd have been put off too but if he did it for YOU then he cared enough for you to have the tests done and that sounds to me like he is really in love with you. I think you should start believing him from here out until he gives you ample proof to not believe him which hopefully will never happen. I do think you should make it up to him both for saving himself for you and for taking the tests for you.
Bless you both and be very happy with each other, congrats!
2007-01-11 17:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, it really sounds that he was upset at you not trusting him. Relationships are built on trust and love and you hurt his feelings when you made him get tested. You do know that one can get AIDS without having sex right? Blood transfusion etc.
But that's a whole other story. It sounds like you just need to win his trust back. Sounds like you are both a good couple, good luck and congratulations for summer 2007!
w
2007-01-11 17:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by Wibble 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age, I think it's very responsible of you to ask him to get a test. However, not trusting him on something after being together for two years was probably a major blow to his feelings. If he seriously loves you, though, this episode should blow over soon enough. Be glad that you were lucky enough to get an honest guy!
2007-01-11 17:52:05 · answer #7 · answered by kenrayf 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I suppose one could say it's better to be safe than sorry but I would think that after a 2-year relations with someone you intend to marry that you would have established enough trust that the testing wouldn't have been necessary.
2007-01-11 17:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by color me blue 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Inactive sex?" I think it's right to be cautious but he is truly a wonder in this day and age. If you don't mind my saying it, at age 21, you should have better writing skills. Your grammar and syntax are so poor, I had a hard time understanding you.
2007-01-11 17:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by darkdiva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong because you are looking out for all involved including future children.
But I can understand why he is hurt...he was hoping that you trust him.
Sounds though like you have a respectable man.
2007-01-11 17:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by DEE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋