Am I being out of line asking my wife for two things?

Question

I have a professional job, make a six figure salary, help out around the house, I cook meals two-three nights a week, I help raise our children, I send my wife on annual week long getaways (I take time off from work and do the Stay at Home Dad thing), support her business endeavours, and have never abused her in any way...nor have I complained much about her complete lack of housekeeping skills or her weight gain.

I think I am a pretty decent lover; she has never complained.. We have a decent sex life, but it could be more frequent...generally once a week or once every two weeks at most.

I have asked my wife to do two things: oral sex to completion without intercourse/'payback' (I do his for her once a month or so); and I have asked her to 'go bald'. Two very little things in my opinion, but she flat out refuses. She calls me a pervert and claims I want to molest kids (which is totally not what I want?)

Am I being unreasonable in asking these things?

By the way. we have been married for 17 years and are both under forty.

SG and Others - I agree that love should be given without expectation, but also know that it should be a two way street.

And I do oral sex on her without a 'return favor' and she doesn't mind oral sex at all...she just feels that if I come so should she...but she also doesn't complain if she comes and I don't..

Autumn -

Hadn't really thought of it that way...will adjust my thinking.

What I was really trying to do was to say that I am not a fat slob sitting on a couch making her go out to bring home money and keep the house clean and raise the kids at the same time.

In reality, we have a great relationship and a good life. But sometimes I do feel taken for granted. She has never HAD to work since we got married (but she has worked); when we got married we agreed that she would be the primary care provider for our children and I would be the primary money earner...I have only not produced an income for two months in 17 years. We didn't have children until our 8th year of marriage.

She has never gven me a ******** without getting the same in return...yet I have done her without a getting the same (or even intercourse for that matter) probably 6-12 times a year since the beginning. I can't even begin to count the back/foot rubs...yet I probably only get one or two a year.

Answer 1

It's too much to ask ONLY if she won't agree with it. After 17 years you should know her and she should know you. What you might suggest is a compromise. . . a trim between the legs and work from there. You may not get your way. . . but that doesn't change the facts of a good marriage (although it may frustrate it some). My agreeing that it is not unreasonable will not change her mind. Compromises might work. Ask her what she might want if you get what you want. You may not win but the communication may bring out what the challenges are there. Whatever you do, don't go looking somewhere else for what you want. Good luck

Answer 2

You make a six figure salary? Dump her *** and i'll marry you jk. I think between a man and a woman chores should be equal at home. I don't think asking for the oral thing is asking too much however asking her to go bald? Do you realise how painful it is to get just a bikini line waxed. I dunno i've given birth to a child and i'd rather do that again than have my you know what waxed. I mean i'd do the bikini line but not the full baldy. And with what you earn why the hell isn't she looking after herself she has no excuse. I think you spoil her too much too. She is taking you for granted. But that's just my opinion. You sound like a good husband but i think a bit too good. Can you meet her halfway with a bikini wax.

Answer 3

Maybe instead of asking her and getting mad at her for saying no u could try explaining why u want it...also a lot of people do oral sex and a lot of females "go bald" so if u look up facts and statson it she might feel more comfortable and not wierd in doing it. Why dont u offer to pay for the brazilian wax if she doesnt want to shave. You can also explain that without all the hair u can see her beauitful body part a lot better and itll give her a better orgasm uve heard (anything to convince her = ) ) You can also offer to do twothings that she wants u to do. It should be a fair offer.

Answer 4

You need to have a serious talk with her. You should slowly introduce her, start with the beginner stuff.
Her calling you a pervert is not fair you have done nothing wrong.
Also: You don’t earn sex by all of the good deeds that you do throughout the year or week. That is how a man thinks not a woman.

Answer 5

No, my friend, you are not unreasonable, and you sound like a good husband and father. But don't be taken in by the urban myths currently circulating.
I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but:
Shaving a woman's personal area is uncomfortable and unpleasant for her. It's an extremely sensitive region, not the place she wants to use a razor. It leaves stubble and makes that region rough.
Many women have an intense dislike of performing oral sex, films and male fantasies to the contrary. "Payback" doesn't really apply, as women may find receiving oral sex is not all that wonderful for them.
Please don't be taken in by porn films, "sex experts", or locker room talk, as this only makes you discontented. NOT EVERYONE is getting what you may think they are. Please try to respect your wife's sexual nature and don't expect her to perform like a sex industry worker. You wouldn't pick that type of woman as a marriage partner, would you?

Answer 6

WHAT?!? What is wrong with this woman? You bring home all the bacon, send her on a vacation every year, ad raise the kid!

Who is this woman to refuse the BIG CHICKEN DINNER!
And she won't bushwhack the hedges, man you found a strange one. You need to tell this girl it's the 21st century and get with the program. Walk up to her and start whispering freaky **** in her ears and grab her *** at the same time, and then tell her to put on the little thing you bought her for Christmas.

YOU STOP ASKING HER FOR ****
YOU TELL THIS GOLD DIGGER HOW THINGS ARE GOING TO BE!

Answer 7

Wow! She should thank her lucky stars that's all you're asking her to do!

As far as shaving down there, she's being totally unreasonable in thinking it's about looking like a child. Compromise and ask her to leave a "landing strip". Once she sees how nice it feels during the act, she'll keep a Daisy razor in the shower at all times. ;)

Answer 8

I understand about the "bald" part but no the oral sex. Some woman don’t like that and you cant force her to do things she doesn’t want to. I don’t think you are a pervert; just want to add more “Spice” in the relationship.

Answer 9

Do you give her oral sex to completion without expecting reciprocation?
Yes, the shaving issue is very unreasonable. The itching upon regrowth makes a person absolutely miserable. You'd have to do it EVERY day. We shave our legs and our armpits, and THAT isn't enough for you!! You are probably not as good in bed as you think you are. Get over yourself.

Answer 10

yes you are unreasonable. True love is giving without expectations and accepting what is given. She has every reason to refuse and if you respect her keep away. What if she has a fantasy to sleep with some one you hate would you agree?