2007-01-11 08:37:56 · 23 answers · asked by Tai 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ultimatum time. He is too comfortable the way things are. If you want to be married, then tell him you need to set a date, or your moving on.
2007-01-11 09:23:17 · answer #1 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
For some reason most men are terrified of the word marriage. It just seals the deal, with virtually no way out (except for divorce of course). It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you and doesn't want to be with you forever, but for some reason having a big ceremony about signing a paper and finalizing his love for you is tremendous in his eyes.
I suppose you should make him see that the way you are living life right now, you are practically married anyways, so why not reap the benefits of signing a little piece of paper?
I recently married, and EVERYONE asks "how's married life?" - it is exactly like it was one month before we got married. Nothing has changed except my last name.
I would highly recommend having a talk - I know most men hate that but it needs to be done. If he can't see himself with anyone else in the future, then you're set, and he'll come around and ask you to marry him as soon as he realizes it wont change life as he knows it. If he sees a future without you, weather distant or near, then you should take a hard look at the relationship. If one person is in love, and the other just along for the ride, it gets UGLY...
Good luck, I hope things work out well for you both!
2007-01-11 17:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by myaddictiontofire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you two talk about these things? I can't believe the conversation hasn't come up in seven years... Talk about it and see where he stands.
You should also look at why you want to get married. I have seen longer term relationships ruined by marriage. Not always the case but something to think about...
Some guys are just committment phobes... You haven't given us much information so it's hard to be of much help. Are there kids? Do you have a good relationship? Are you and he happy together? Why do you suppose he's not asking you the question? Tell us more and we can be more helpful.
Trying to get a guy to ask you sounds like a really bad idea to me. And trying to get a man to make up his mind sounds like a bad idea.
2007-01-11 17:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't make up his mind, that's where divorce become the result. Why put a time limit, if you guys are best friends and can actually say that you truly love each other then it will happen, try talking to him about it while being sincere, not angry or with statement laced with threats or ultimatums
The fact that you have been going out 7 years and don't know if he wants to marry you show that there is not enough meaningful communication in your lives, does he have hangups on marriage? he may be stuck on horror stories about marriage and is scared, he may not believe in marriage for religious reasons, he may not be ready, he may see you changing and has become less certain about the future...
bottom line is it's time to open up your heart and explore his for what the future holds
2007-01-11 16:50:18 · answer #4 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say but you cannot make someone marry you. Why
on earth would you want to anyway. If he hasn't asked then it means that he doesn't want to.
I would hate for you to go 7 more years just to find out that he truly isn't going to marry you.
2007-01-11 16:46:28 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, you can't make someone make up their mind. It sounds like you have a stalemate in the relationship. You need to decide if marriage is a must, and if you are willing to wait, quite possibly, forever.
If he knows this is important to you, and he is not willing, and doesn't have a reasonable answer, its not going to happen. Plus what is to say that he'd hold his vows if he's that opposed?
2007-01-11 17:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by DevonChaos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him.. u've invested enough time, now ur just wasteing time, im guessing that u live together, so why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free... so if u want him to marry u , move out ..
and for Valerie.. if u knew "anything" u'd realize its not just about sex..
why would he want to marry her when they are playing house already but with out the commitment, theres more to marriage then sex. and he has it already with out needing the paper..
2007-01-11 16:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Single guys have no comprehension of marriage. If you are sure it will work out, encourage him to spend time with mature, happy, married men. It might show him that married life is good. 99% of the time I think most married men, including myself, are glad they are married.
2007-01-11 16:45:08 · answer #8 · answered by ganonymous1111 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if there is a future. He deserves to know that you want progress. There is a high chance that as you let him figure things out, you might start building doubt. Doubt will snowball to a point of no recovery. I don't believe in avoiding issues. People will act accordingly if they know everything.
2007-01-11 18:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by Confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The great and powerful "take away." Explain to him that you aren't going to wait forever and then afterwards tell him you are busy more often. Don't make yourself so available. If he really is serious about you, it will get things moving a little faster.
2007-01-11 16:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by peacemaker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋