Ok so at the beginning of the year, my then best friend and I decided to do the Science Fair project together. We got in this big fight and we don't talk now. I'm kinda worried that this will ruin our project and possibly our grade because we've been so focused on ignoring each other. There's no way to get out of the project now, the fair's next week. I just want to know if anyone has any suggestions on anything I can do so that our grade won't go down because of our fight. I am NOT planning on making peace with her for various reasons. I just need to be able to not want to punch her during the fair...Help anyone?
2007-01-11 08:19:56 · 13 answers · asked by LOSTragedii XX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is an opportunity for you to prove to yourself, at the very least, how emotionally mature you can be. Seriously.
I see that you can handle this in one of two ways -
- - Be open and honest - lay your feelings and issues out on the table with her and maybe she'll reciprocate. Watch your words. Make sure they come from a neutral place and they're not spoken out of anger or spite. Open with phrases like "when you... I felt..." so it's more about your feelings and less like an accusation.
If you can clear the air between you and get rid of the tension, you'll be surprised at just how enjoyable working on the project can be. I know that this is not a realistic option for everyone though.
- - Put your unresolved feelings and issues aside for a bit and and focus on the project. Divvy up the duties and responsibilities and come to an agreement on who will do what. And then focus on the task at hand and do your bit on the project to the best of your ability. And trust that she'll do the same.
What you're learning now through this experience is an invaluable lesson. You will have to do this sort of thing again... perhaps in college and most likely when working. I know it's happened to me more than once at work.
Most importantly, you need to recognize that this is an opportunity and not an inconvenience.
2007-01-11 08:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by freckleface 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
having a friendship dissolve, expecially over personal offenses is a difficult thing and emotions can be hard to control.
The only thing you have control of in this situation is yourself- your actions and how you respond- the ONLY person that has control over these things is you.
Decide from the start that at the very least, nop matter what this person has done or does, she is a human being and you will treat her with the dignity and respect that you would a stranger, the dignity and respect that you would want to be treated with.
decide that oyu will be 'professional' about the situation- set boundaries- we have to work together, we will get together, focus on the project and do our very best to get the project done and done well- set boundaries about what you will and will not talk about- stick with the science project
Decide ahead of time that you ar going to be the bigger person- resolve not to resort to pettiness, insults, dwelling on offenses. Decide that oyu will forgive (this does not mean oyu have ot become friends again or that oyu even have to like her- just let go of your anger and do what needs to be done so that the offenses dont interfere with your education
when meeting to do this project, meet in neutral places- library, classroom, etc. If oyu have to meet at your or her house, make sure there is an adult or objective person there to help referee, keep order and enforce the boundaries - don't work together alone , especially on any one persons turf.
I hope that you will be able to let go and forgive - not for her sake but for your own sake. Getting through this maintaining oyur dignity, being respectful and courteous and brushing off the offenses will make oyu a stronger person- you decide if this personal issue is going to affect the project or not- you decide if you are going to react in anger and frustration or if oyu are going to respond with grace, dignity and maturity.
2007-01-11 16:37:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, this is great training for you since you'll definitely have to work with people who you don't like in the future. Talk to your friend, and make sure that she shares your goal of getting a good grade (if she doesn't, you'll need to get her on track). Once you've established that you both want the same thing, it gets easier. From there, make a plan for how you to achieve your goal. It may be possible to separate some of the work so that you don't need to spend a lot of time face to face. Keep your mind on the project and good luck!
2007-01-11 16:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by alleywag 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to separate your personal from your "professional" feelings. On a personal level, you can hate this person all you like, but as you say, in the interest of a good grade, you two need to at least co-operate long enough to get this science project done. It's good practice for later, by the way. When you're working in a job somewhere, you may not always get along with all your co-workers, but for the sake of your jobs, you will at least have to be polite in the workplace.
2007-01-11 16:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you each decide to work on seperate parts of the science project, or you get over the fight, get an A, then go back to ignoring her if you so desire.
2007-01-11 16:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by randy1016 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get another friend to help you and keep the peace...remember it's only a science project, not the rest of your life. Ignore the way she makes you feel and do the project. (remember she can only hurt you if you let her...)
2007-01-11 16:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to buckle down, bite the bullet, and work with her. You dont have to like it, but for the sake of your grade, you have to do it. Just be polite, and stay focused on the issue- creating a good project for a good grade. Good luck to you!
2007-01-11 16:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by dkiller88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...be mature and get over it. believe me, you will not like everyone you work with once you're out of school either. It's a part of life... we sometimes have to be the bigger person and just deal with it.... but also be cordial to her as well. You might end up as friends again.
2007-01-11 16:41:23 · answer #8 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Be professional and get the job done to the best of your ability. I know this seems hard, but it is a good lesson. when you get older you will not always like your co-workers.
2007-01-11 16:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by Richard Bricker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and work on the project like nothing ever happened..I am not saying kiss her behind, but conduct yourself with manners..When it's all over, then go ahead and punch her, if it makes you feel better!
2007-01-11 16:26:09 · answer #10 · answered by janet r 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋