I am getting married next year and i dont want to invite him, but they are still close, and have a daughter together... normally there would be noreason not to invite him... is there an easy way to tell her?
2007-01-11 08:03:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, you're right, there would normally be no reason to say anything but you're also right that if you don't want this person at your wedding, you should not invite him.
I suppose you could "accidentally" omit him from your invitations but that's probably not the best course of action. That's a little underhanded.
I think that women feel at times like they are responsible for some man's inappropriate behavior and I'm not sure why that is. Sounds like this guy was inappropriate with you and so now you're uncomfortable with him. And on your wedding day, you don't want to deal with awkward or uncomfortable feelings -- and you shouldn't have to.
There is no easy way to tell your aunt that her x (who she is still close to) is a little off base. She won't like hearing it and you won't enjoy telling her. But if you think your Aunt deserves an explanation about why you're not inviting your ex-uncle, you've got to tell her about your experience with this guy. But you might decide that nobody really needs an explanation or that you don't want to give any details. Something like, "Hey, something weird went on a few years ago with (whatever his name is) and I just don't want to deal with it on my wedding day so I'm not inviting him."
Keep in mind that the guy might show up anyway. But hopefully your family will be supportive of you and try to help you to prevent that.
Sounds like a touchy situation and I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable.
Good luck.
2007-01-11 08:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would offer this as an explanation (and only if asked for one)...finances are a little tight right now so we are only able to invite family members and few very close friends. If they push then you may have to tell the truth, but hopefully since it is your day and your wedding they will accept that and respect it.
2007-01-11 16:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite only her and her daughter. If she would have the audacity to ask why he was not invited, tell her that the two of you have had a difference of opinion and you would prefer he not be there so there is no scene. If she pushes further, you can go into more details about your difference of opinion.
2007-01-11 16:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't tell her. It's your wedding invite who you and partner want there.
Who cares if your aunt gets mad?
If she does demand to know , just simply tell her you didn't want him here.
By telling her that bit of information (making pass) you are opening up a new can of worms, do you really have time for that?
No easy way to tell her, but except the outcome of what you tell her.
2007-01-11 16:15:26 · answer #4 · answered by liquidblue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares if they still close. It's your wedding and if you invite him you are sending off the wrong signal.
As far as telling your aunt about her ex husband, that is none of her business, and neither is he. You should get him out of your life, and the perfect opportunity to do that is to not invite him to your wedding.
2007-01-11 16:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by Aurora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her he is not invite and why if she asks
If she get upset over it then she's not a good loving aunt, and I'd dis invite her too right there and then.
2007-01-11 17:53:50 · answer #6 · answered by ღ♥ஐcookie1ஐ♥ღ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth and quick. The longer you go without telling her, the more it will hurt her. Try inviting her to lunch or inviting her to your house to help cook a meal.
2007-01-11 16:10:36 · answer #7 · answered by J L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need 2 talk 2 her privately. Let her know that u r uncomfortable around him. Tell her the truth and that u dont want him to b apart of ur special day. if she cant deal with that then u dont have 2 deal with the uneasiness of seeing him on ur day. It wouldnt b me.
2007-01-11 16:13:28 · answer #8 · answered by TASHA J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I have lots of thoughts on this. Maybe it would be easier to tell your family member that is related to your aunt IF she asks why he is not welcome. If she doesn't ask (which I doubt), then all is well. Most often, when people hear news about a loved one like this, they won't believe it and think it is you. Are you prepared for that? I hope you get some good answers...
2007-01-11 16:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how close t hey are, two things stand out in my mind, one, they are divorced, two, he tried to make a move on you. what's to think about? There wouldn't be an invite for him, and I wouldn't feel the least bit anything!
2007-01-11 21:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋