A good friend that is an ex?

Question

I am really good friends with my ex. we have always been really good friends. He is going through a rough time and my husband doesn't like the fact that I talk to my ex's. I want to be there for my friend but I don't want to upset my husband. My ex and I have been friends for about 7 years. and I have only been/known my husband for almost 3years. any ideas on how I can stay friends with an ex and keep my husband from feeling upset?

ok many of you asked how I would feel if my husband hung out with an ex. well he hangs out with a girl he had sex with and she still wants him. and she flirts with him all the time. it upsets me and he still hangs out with her.

MY HUSBAND DOES HANG OUT WITH A GIRL HE HAS HAD SEX WITH. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

Answer 1

there is many options
1) try talk to ur husband and tell him that he should trust u , and tell him also that there is no one in ur heart alse him and about ur ex he is just a friend now with respect no more or less

2) another option which is talk to ur ex with ur husband known
"lol i dont advice u do that because it will be a disaster "

3) dont talk to ur ex again if it will cause a destruction in ur life

i think ur problem is so complicated between ur friendship and ur jealous husband

i think u need to ask someone from his friends to talk to him and make him stop be jealous

Answer 2

I been in a similar situation. Ex's can not be friends, I learned this. The only reason why you are still friends is because the flame still burns a least a little, even if you won't admitt it. If you really love your husband keep your ex at a distance or out of the picture. You love for your husband and the way he feels should be greater and if your putting your needs and your ex;s first maybe you should think about why you are married to your husband. You know you shouldn't be talking to your ex or you wouldn't have come here to look for vaildation. I'm sure you guess still flirt a little make eachother feel pretty and all that good stuff but is your husband worth more than the past. Deal with your life instead of getting involed with something that should be in the past, or leave your husband. Would you like it if it was your husband and his ex?

Answer 3

In my opinion when you got married you agreed to love and honor your mate. Although that doens't mean you have to give up who you are and all that brings you joy and the people you care about. Try to imagine if you were in your husband's shoes...would you like it? Would it make you feel secure? Would you expect him to honor and love you enough to let the friend go if it hurt and upset you? You can make more friends, finding someone to love and who loves you can be a bit harder. I think as step number 1 you should try to include your husband on the friendship, don't see this friend without your husband present. If that still doesn't make your husband feel more comfortable then let the friend go, is it worth the tension in your marriage to have this ex as a friend? It doesn't matter who you have known longer, it matters who you have the commitment to. Yes sometimes it is a real stinker letting a friend go but often times having ex's as friends is impossible when we decide to get married. There is a good reason this friend is your ex...I would keep that in mind before I risked too much on hanging out iwth him. Your ex can talk to other friends, family, or a therapist if he needs help. Unless you are a trained professional, there is really nothing that you can do that he can't get done with another friend's help.

Answer 4

This is a really difficult situation. My boyfriend of 5 years is friends with his ex. They dated for around five years too. It still bothers me, but like the other reader said, I went into this relationship knowing that they were friends. Try involving your husband into the friendship too, that has helped seeing the dynamics of their relationship. But don't hide anything from him, this will only make it worse. Now, to help your friend out for now he might have to figure out how to solve it on his own. He can handle it, people have problems every day. Try solving things with your husband first. Talk to him about the situation and see if he can give any input. Then call your friend and give him advice or just listen. It will be hard, but it'll work out.

Answer 5

I understand his feelings. An "ex" is in the past. And there it should stay. If you didn't have this friendly relationship when your husband came into the picture/married you - it's not fair to expect him to like it, or accept it. Consider how YOU would feel if it were a woman from his past, crying on his shoulder. Ya. Not so nice, is it? Your husbands feeling should come before your ex's.

Answer 6

Include your husband in the freindship. Only see your ex with your husband present. I'm on your husbands side myself. I don't think it's right to be friends with an ex if it makes your husband (the most important person to you) uncomfortable. I see your point too though, that youve been friends with this man for 7 years. So TRY to include your husband in everything.

Answer 7

Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, but I think that once your married you should honor and respect your husband. Remaining friendly with an ex, in any shape or form (unless children are involved) is neither honorable or respectful. Ponder this, what if it was him hanging out and being supportive of his ex.

Answer 8

Tell your husband that he needs to get over it and that your not attracted to your ex anymore. So what if your friends with your ex? Its a good thing.

Answer 9

You could have the friend over to your home while your husband is there and talk about his problems w/ your husbands input,just make him part of the friendship,b/c hes is part of you know.Never fight w/ your husband about the friend,it will make him feel like he has competition!

Answer 10

your husband comes first. the ex is an ex for a reason.