My ex currently gets 2+ days a week with our daughter. He is now saying that he wants more free time with her and therefore more hours - like almost 3 days per week plus a visit on saturday "to do family activities"
Do I have to let him do this? I think she is there too much time already. We have different lifestyles and I don't want her spending more time with him. I told him "no more time" and he said he wouldn't back down. Our agreement says we have to go to mediation to make decisions. I don't agree with mediation and I don't like having to sit in a room and talk to him. What happens if I don't go? Can he take me to court? Will they let him get the extra hours? We have a shared parenting plan, but I am the residential parent.
2007-01-11 07:52:52 · 8 answers · asked by mommydearest 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well its like this yes if you don't go then he can take you to court and as for weather or not he will get more time just depends on several factors like if it will interfere with her schooling if she is old enough and if you can prove its not a good idea and how it might not be good for her so you really need to have a better answer to this then just i said no because i don't like your life style or it just wont fly and if you agreed to go to a mediator and then don't go it will look bad on you so you might want to consider what he is asking for and see if you guys can compromise on something good luck!
2007-01-11 08:03:28 · answer #1 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't have to go to mediation, but once you don't go to mediation he is free to file a petition and take you to court. He is free to do that if you don't work things out in mediation too. You know him best, therefore you know whether or not he will actually go to court over gaining an extra day of visitiation. In my state the usual and customary visitation for the non residential parent is an evening during the week and every other weekend plus six weeks in the summer. However, each couple can come up with their own plan and ask the Courts approval. How long has it been since you asked for a upward modification of child support? You could always put that on the table too.
L.
2007-01-13 03:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by tink3610 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he gets 2+ days a week with your daughter. How old is the daughter, you never said. I ask because the older she gets the more the discsion is hers. most states listen to the child at ages over 12. If you guys can't agree he can take you to court and the judge may let him spend more time. If you don't go to the mediations that could look bad on your part. So you better go. I have an opinion on the lifestyles thing if you don't mind to read. They can be good. As long as he isn't a drug addicted alcohol. being in your enviroment and his enviroment can give a child a better perspective on the "REAL WORLD" You allready spend 5 days a week you are the stronger enviroment for your child. Dont play the mom knows better then dad game because you'll end up making your daughter hate you. Last thing its a shared parenting plan duh!!! let her spend time with dad too
2007-01-11 08:11:53 · answer #3 · answered by mrlyricman_2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a divorced mother thsi is something that I feel very strongly about.
Clearly, your ex is a loving father so what have you got against him spending more time with your (and by that I mean both of you) daughter? Children of divorced parents need each one as much as the other. What does your daughter want? She should have a say too.
As for mediation, I would suggest you do the adult thing and go, as much as you hate to sit in a room and talk with him. He could go to court if he wanted. What would you rather do - have a civil discussion about what is best for your daughter or drag it out in court and pay lawyers?
Bottom line, all divorced parents have an obligation to put their differences aside when discussing their children. We messed up our marriages and our kids got caught in the fallout. The very least we can do for them is to act like civilised adults and keep their best interests at heart.
2007-01-11 08:09:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to work it out outside of court no matter how much you dislike it. Yes, he can file a petition the courts for a remodification of child support/visitation rights in which you will have to appear or be in contempt. If he can show just cause for why the judge should change the visits, the judge will rule in his favor and by the way, unfortunately, the reasons you give above wont work in court. It almost has to be something along the lines of child abuse or endangerment to block him.Now dont use hearsay to try and stop him as you will have to really prove your accusations. Not an easy task, so its better to work out something with him instead of letting the judge decide. Good luck
2007-01-11 08:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am fairly new to this divorce stuff, but what kind of lifestyle is your ex having that you don't agree with? if it is not good for your daughter, state it to your lawyer. if he just wants to spend time with your daughter and really there is not harm, then let her go. i am sure she will appreciate it later and not resent it. i know it is very hard, but you also have to remember if you fight everything, in the eyes of the judge - he may not like that you fight and give your ex all privilages. it take a little to gain a little. maybe you can negotiate with the mediator and settle in between. and if he gets her a couple hours more - cherish your time. if he wants more and more and more - well hopefully your lawyer will see that you have cooperated and he is asking for too much. she is living with you for a reason - the judge saw and ruled on that. just don't let your daughter be the one to loose............your battles.
2007-01-11 09:47:08 · answer #6 · answered by yes, it's me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can petition the court for a custody modification and it will be up to the mediator or the judge to make the final decision. So yes, he can take you to court and he might get the extra hours that he's looking for.
2007-01-11 07:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What the *** is wrong with you? I am a single father with an ex-wife like you. Why should you get the most time? We are capable of loving our children as much as women. If your child has no problems with it, then it is selfish to deny it. You are making this personal when you deny him without just cause, and I mean Just Cause! A child needs both parents and these split visitations just screw them up when one or more parents get selfish over time spent. If his lifestyle doesn't harm the child then what is the problem? Maybe your lifestyle seems wrong to him or your child. Be happy he wants to be a part of her life and embrace the fact he wants to be closer to her. My ex is all about the support and denies visitation, extra and set, out of bitterness. And she left! It is the kid on the playground with the only toy, all over again.
2007-01-11 08:09:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋