Do most women have problems with ex-husbands when children are involved?

Question

Mine is a total nightmare!!!
I feel like I can't lead a normal life without him trying to stick his nose in my business about who I date and where I go.
He only pays child support when he says he has the money (which has been a few months now) but my experiences would turn into a 500 page book! If anyone has a worse ex-husband than mine I will definately give you the 10 points in the morning!

Answer 1

its a shame some mommys dont teach their kids the phrase "thats none of our business", for your ex would have learned it long ago.

ALL of us out here have nightmare ex's. its the rare few who's exs are civil that amazes me. i have a Final Restraining Order and my ex still did that crap.

my ex used to question the children (all 4 of them) about everything in my business. he said it was his right to know where i am, since i have his children.

WRONG. i took him back to court for stalking me (even at the grocery store [when he saw my car, he would go up and down the isles to find me]). call my house and terrorize the babysittter when i was out all the time (her mother filed charges against my ex after he called her lewd names because she refused to tell him where i was [i was in college]).

he had his 'mommy' call me or the sitter trying to find out info (and she is just as bad as he is, by not knowing the phrase 'thats none of our business').

he would send the children home looking for 'things' like pics he wanted, items he wanted, tell them i do drugs (which i dont) so he had them looking in my purse for drugs.

i finally video taped his azzz (aimed the camera at his truck during all pick ups, drop offs) to show how he curses at me, tells the kids i am 'this' or 'that' (all lewd names and things). the court wont take time to view the unedited tape, but a professional counselor or assesment team or mediator will. they write a report, and you submit it to the court. i did.

it proved it and he stopped most of it.

if he got mad at one of the kids (for telling him they dont like him talking about their mother that way), he bought all of them christmas gifts/birthday gifts, but that one child who said that. she was just 8 years old at the time.

for two years he didnt bother to call or see any of them (when they were little). he then said to one of the children (after reconnecting to them, years later) "i'm pissedd at you... you didnt call me for a few weeks". her, 15 now, response was "yeah, well you didnt call me for two years".

or how about when he says to the children 'call me if you need anything' and when they do, his only response is 'thats what child support is for' or 'all you do is give me problems'.

they all grow up and see what kind of person they are, BELIEVE me. they reach an age where they voice it too. they tell it like it is, no sugar coating it (teens have that gift, dont they?).

we could all write a 500 page book on the ex's. its the rare lucky ones who only have a newletters worth.

my kids are now teens also, and refuse to see him because he is such an orifice. to them; about them or me. they are tired of his behavior and have seen the true him. since they are old enough to testify in court, they are old enough to decide if they want contact or not. they tell him so.

here are some links to help you.

http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html

http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html

http://www.singlemoms.org/info/main.htm
http://www.singlemotherresources.com/
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/njcomputerchick
http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/chapterfind.asp
http://www.mowaa.org/
http://modestneeds.org/
http://freecycle.org/
http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn.nsf
http://www.redcross.org/where/chapts.asp

Answer 2

Most of my friends and me included that are divorce and with children by the ex have some of the same problems. It's not so much about who your children are expose to because most men know that if you are a good mother you are not going to expose your children to anyone bad especially on purpose. It's like they try hard and even work overtime to make your life miserable. It's just their way of getting back at you for some reason and another they don't have life so they have to constant pick at yours. Loneliness can create some real monsters. Keep your head up and hopefully it will get better in time.

Answer 3

Do what I did...my ex complained and whined about EVERYTHING I did after we split (even who I slept with). I sat down and wrote him this LONG letter telling him EVERYTHING I had wanted to tell him since the day he left. I reminded him that HE was the one who left and that what I did after that point was absolutely no concern of his and then I started pointing out all the crap he had pulled since we split. I just recently took him to court for not paying his child support and lucky for me he's more afraid of jail than he is of me. Just stand up to him and remind him that you are no longer married and what you do is none of his business. As long as anything you do has no impact on your children-it is none of his business. I could write for days about the bull my ex has pulled...not enough time in the week!

Answer 4

Tell him to piss off. He has no business sticking his nose in your dating, unless you are doing something that could endanger the children. And, most states send child support through their Department of Family Services. If he is in arrears by usually $7,000 or more, they will issue a warrant for his arrest, and make him appear in court to tell them how he plans on getting caught up.

Answer 5

I never get child support from my attorney ex. He has to dictate when and how the kids get home from his house, which is 6 hours away by car. He ruins any plans I have made just so that he can have his visitation. The kids don't want to see him anyway and I have to force them to go. He spends money on them by buying them stuff that he knows my fiance and I don't approve of just to make himself look good, but won't pay anything toward child support. I've had it. Christmas was it. I'm NEVER sending them back to him. He says that he will physically come to my house and drag them for visitation even though they are teenagers and don't want to go. He never wanted them to begin with and I raised them mostly by myself. He has no real relationship with them because he is abusive and mean and neglected them all their lives. I think he's just jealous because even though he cheated on me throughout our long marriage, I was the one who left and found Mr. Right so easily. He knows how uterly happy we are as a family and he's so jealous and hateful about that. Even though I paid for the plane tickets to get them down to see him, he forced me to buy the tickets home because he didn't want to - then he made them miss the flight by being late and I had to take off most of the day from work to pick them up because he didn't want to use his cell phone minutes to call and tell me when they would be in. Jealous and spiteful.

Answer 6

It isn't always about who you date, it's more about what man or men his children will be exposed to.
It's a shame you didn't know him this well prior to getting married and creating children. I'm sure the kids are just as sick of his 500 pages of bad behavior as you are.

Answer 7

:)

Not married yet. I just screw them for a few months and leave in the middle of the night before they get too attached to my goodness...hehehe

:)

BUT, I do have a friend, who has a friend, whose uncles brothers cousin is in the "bidness"....we could have his knees kicked in!