ive been caring for my almost 18 year old neice for the better part of the last seven years since her mother died. i got married two years ago however my wife cheated on me and we got divorced. i recentley was dating someone but that ended bitterly too. i am worried that this is effecting my neice and i dont want to hurt her. she has been thru a lot and im one of the few people that she has always been able to count on. is me dating or getting married again going to affect our relationship in a negative way?
2007-01-11 07:22:24 · 13 answers · asked by IslandMusicMan68 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes and no,
By her age, she should be fairly well developed, not having a mother to learn many of the traits of a young woman will likley have a more detremtal effect than your dateing, but that can't be helped. You being there for her, and showing the level of concern you have shown is a step in the right direction. She should also be old enough that you two can talk about this.
I am in a simmilar situation, my wife and I got guardianship of her two half brothers (shattered home enviroment) and all you can do is try to raise them as best as you can 14 & 17. Try to give her a stable platform to grow from, provide advise, and teach her right from wrong. By her age, she should already have a firm grasp on all that, and be ready to start on her own.
Another question will be, when she moves out, how will you deal with it? Something to keep in mind.
2007-01-11 07:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life goes on doesn't it. You working on new relationships will show her that life does indeed move on. At this point in the grieving process, any little problem is scrutinized by those affected, but keep in mind that you need to live your life. Be the best model for her and don't give her the idea that giving up on having relationships is the only choice.
You could try and talk to her about it as well. Find out exactly how she feels and make sure she understands that what you're going through is normal in life and has nothing to do with her being in your life.
Good luck and good for you taking her into your own home.
2007-01-11 07:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by kb6jra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing I can say is for you not to "share" too much info with her but she is 18, so be honest when questions arise. Try not to let her meet these women you just "date" unless it is very serious. And go talk to someone about you, seems like you may have hit some rough spots to. What keeps causing you to choose these relationships that have bad outcomes? Sometimes it is being too nice or picking the wrong type. Just look into that I'm sure she will be fine, your great for doing this.
2007-01-11 07:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have your own life, trust me, she will soon enough. Whatever you are doing, dating, getting married, whatever, just always let her know she is still the apple of your eye, and you will always make time for her. Sounds like a lucky little gal to have someone that really cares about her. She would not want you to be a recluse, now would she?? If you become unhappy from lack of socialization, this will also affect her. Seems like you are keeping her in mind, and won't let anyone you are dating walk on her, with that attitude, you guys are going to be fine!
2007-01-11 07:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by janet r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire you for caring about how this is effecting her, that says a lot for you. Almost all relationships end, and most of them not well. It's how you react to them that's important. She will learn from you how to handle them so just be cautious about that. We all go through the bad times and she will to, maybe she'll be better equipped than most because of what she's seen you go through. Talk to her and tell her that in relationships you have to take the good with the bad and that no matter how traumatic the end of one is that you learn from each one. If you keep from becoming bitter about this and grow each time then it is not for nothing. Each time you love and lose you learn a little more about yourself and know what you really want from you next relationship.
2007-01-11 07:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend PLAYACRIB.COM The Coolest Chat & Online Dating Place For 17+ Adults also I liked RATEONME.COM the Dating, Picture Rating, Modeling and Glamour Site. RATEME2.COM is a nice Modelling & Dating Resource site and ENTERPIXELADS.COM is ideal Fashion, Glamour, Modelling & Dating Resourc website.
2007-01-14 00:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I broke up with my husband over a year ago & so asked myself the same question as I have our 2 kids living with me, when I looked into it the experts recommended that when you start dating a girl dont tell your dependant about it for at least 6 months, until you're sure 'she's the one'. but obviously even if it happens again she'll sense your upset even if she doesn't know why you're feeling that way.
I really feel for you, as who really knows what's right or wrong in these situations, as long as you've always got your niece's happiness in the back of your mind I'm sure you'll make the right choices.
What's worse for her in the long run, to see your heart broken or to see you miserable& lonely & possibly (unintentionally) resenting her in the long run for you being like that.
Be sensible. It's better to have loved & lost..........
2007-01-11 07:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by becbark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my step dad, and my mom changed into finding out to purchase my wedding ceremony. i did not say a note and allow him come yet i did not talk to him or make him any component to the marriage. i understand you suggested inviting her wasnt an decision yet i imagine you should re-evaluate and basically tell your dad that you will be the bigger human being and allow her to come back yet that she is to not make any rude comments to everybody. You suggested your dad hasn't ever been round on your existence and surely you do not talk very kindly of him yet your accepting his money? You shouldnt use human beings no count number number who they are. If something now that he helps pay on your wedding ceremony which skill you presently owe him something. i for my section imagine your including better drama on your wedding ceremony with information from not letting her come then you might want to in case you purely saved your mouth close and allow her come. Your going to have alot of human beings there so that you probable wont even understand she's there.
2016-12-02 03:27:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, i think she is old enough now that she is probably okay with whatever you do in your personal life. If she was younger i might say yes, but she's almost 18 and almost grown.
2007-01-11 07:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by Kristi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it will. She is going to see how people are when she gets older. However, before you commit to another girl, make sure that she is worth it. Don't jump into things fast. Take your time when dating.
Good Luck!
2007-01-11 07:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by WiseGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋