Should I forget About my Ex and move on?

Question

I was in a relationship with my Ex girlfriend for a year and a half at first everything was so lovely we had alot in common and we fell in love with each other real hard, but after awhile we started to argue alot over stupid small things that wasn't worth even arguing over, so after a year and a half we broke up but somehow we still remained close and we still remained friends, but that kinda lead to being a little more (if you know what I mean), but we were still never a couple i guess you could say we were friends with benefits, but anyway I love this girl so much I've tried to forget about her and move on but it's hard because I still see her all the time (church) and that makes it hard for the feelings to go away, and to make matters worse her Ex- boyfriend is back in the picture and she's in a relationship with him now, but she still wants to be in my life and wants to call and hang with me, should I fight for her and try and be with her or should I just move on with my life???

Answer 1

Let's see... you're her EX, and she wants to keep you around. Plus, she's back together with another EX. See the pattern here?

You're not the problem, she is. She's probably a great girl, but you'll never have anything long term or stable until she sees that same pattern and subsequently tries to correct it. That might never happen.

Move on with your life. It's the one thing she doesn't want, so it's the one thing you MUST do. Otherwise you're allowing the controlling part of her relationship patterns to be reinforced. She needs to be shown that she needs to make a commitment if she wants to keep the good ones.

Answer 2

This is gonna hurt but because you are going to church I am gonna tell you anyway . I have been waitng on the right Christian man and I gave up for a while to do my own thing because I got tired of waitng on a man to approach me. I settled for losers who did nothing for my life except distract me from my purpose in life and tear away my self confidence. When the right man finally came along,I was so bitter about the losers in my life that I let a good man slip away. This all happened because I got my eyes off of what is really meaningfull in my life and is sounds like you and your ex did this as well. Everytime we take our eyes off of God, we forget that he is the creator of relationships in the first place. I would advise you to pray with and for your ex and seek couseling from a good Christian mentor. Note that I am not preaching just trying to help. If you two are not willing to listen to a counseler, I doubt you would be able to make it work anyway. Two people should build each other up not tear down....God bless

Answer 3

I say....... Move On !!
Unless you want to speak to her about it, then you tell her how you feel and if she feels the same way, then she should break up with this other guy at once and start out fresh with you. Make sure you speak of all the things you both like and dislike about eachother that way you will always be considerate of one another in the future.
If it doesn't seem she wants it as much as you do, then just move on.
Good Luck !

Answer 4

A.J. in my opinion it is time to close this chapter of your life. If you have gained a new friend from this relationship great providing you can just be friends. Your heart will heal from the hurt after a proper time of grieving the loss of this relationship. And soon enough you will have another young woman in your life and hopefully you have learned, not to argue over silly little things from your previous relationship, and can have a healthy and happy relationship.

Answer 5

Sounds almost like she wants you to be jealous!! The fact that she brought back her old ex-boyfriend kind of makes me think she wanted you to notice her again, and possibly put up a fight?? Girls always want a knight in shining armor, and the last thing they want to do is make it easy on the guy... so here's my guess, she seems like a nice girl, but she's sick of the little fights, I think that she's figuring that if she sticks with this guy just long enough it'll pose enough of a problem that when you finally do get back together with her, you'll be so grateful about it, that the fights won't break out again!!Good luck winning back your fair lady! ;)

Answer 6

Well it seems like she is sort of using you for sex (when the ex isnt around) I think that it might be beneficial to you if you didnt call her or hang out with her... .if she comes running after you then I think you should go back with her but if she doesn't seem to notice that you have been distant with her then it is time to move on and find another girl who will respect you and treat you the way that you should be.

Answer 7

I'd pretend I was moving on, maybe even hire a girlfriend that is slighty better looking than your ex. Then in about a month, let your ex see you and her breaking up, and look over and say, "I guess I only have enough heart for you"

ta da! she's yours

Answer 8

Seems like if you go to another church you won't be seeing her and that will give you a chance to meet someone new without hang-ups. Don't pick a church around the corner from this one.

Answer 9

You need to leave her alone. This is the type of break up where I would say, "No we can't be just friends".
If she wants you in her life, like you want her, she'll come around.
If she doesn't thenyou are gonna have to work hard on respecting her wish.
Ive been there. It is hard to let one leave you when you still love them.

Answer 10

Bill's Law of Fighting for a Woman:

It's always a loss. Always. I don't care whether it's a fistfight or an emotional tug of war.

You shouldn't have to persuade A-N-Y-O-N-E to love you back. Nobody. You're worth more than that, as are we all.

Move on.