It's midnight. You hear a strange sound in your house!! Can you write an amusing paragraph or more that ....

Question

includes these phrases?
1. Possibly that deranged man at the dry cleaners.
2. Well, let's not make that the focus of our conversation.
3. You don't seem to realize the cosmic importance of this.
4. That's right, karate... made my whole body a weapon.
5. We had a seance at the house last night .....never gonna do THAT, again!
6. Are you still seeing that therapist?
I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.

Not homework. I am 58, wayyyy past that. It's just creative fun on Yahoo.

Answer 1

I'll admit it. It was not the most normal of days. In fact, I hardly expected it to be. It was my birthday, you see, and when my sister Kari throws me a birthday party, you never can predict what'll happen. Like what happened last year, when Shauna fell into the pool after the elephant Kari had rented saw a mouse, and - well, let's not make that the focus of our conversation. What I'm saying is, you never know what to expect. And I certainly wasn't in the mood for a party after what happened at the dry cleaners. I mean, I'm a patient person. A nice person. A good person. And I can understand when you lose a button or you misplace a shirt. Hey, I know how it can be. And besides, I know the dry cleaner, Mr. Kralik, and he is good to his word: he'll pay you back for any missing property. But evidently this guy didn't believe it. I went in at around eleven, after I got off work that evening, to pick up my coat I had cleaned, and this guy was ranting and raving because Mr. Kralik had accidentally misplaced one of the guy's jackets. Oops. Not good. Took half an hour to calm the guy down - I didn't get my coat until almost midnight. Sheesh. I was in an understandably sour mood. Yeah, it was possibly that deranged man at the dry cleaners - but I think it was because I didn't know what craziness I was heading into, going home to face the music (literally, the music. I could hear what Kari had most undoubtedly set up from two blocks away. We were going to get so many complaints - I was surprised the cops weren't there already.) I got out of my car and was immediately surrounded by my two best friends, Mary and Irene, their husbands Jack and Gregory, and my sister, who hurried me inside and sat me down at the dining room table. "TURN DOWN THE MUSIC," I yelled as politely as I could. Kari nodded and the music was hushed. In a whisper I could barely hear (my ears were still pounding from the blaring rock they had been accosted by), she said "We're going to talk to a ghost now." I raised an eyebrow and noted the apprehensive yet somehow eager expressions the five around me had. I shook my head and just started talking - maybe I could get them to forget this ghost thing. "So, Jack. Are you still seeing that therapist?" He did a strange half nod, half shake of his head. "I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer. The guy couldn't figure out how to get it to turn off without him having to unplug it. Honestly." Mary cleared her throat. "Jack, hon, we're going to call the ghost now. Shush." I saw Kari grin evilly as she spoke. Invoking the spirit to talk to us was one of the creepiest things ever. Not that I believe in ghosts, of course. But still. Creepy. Especially the deep silence that fell as we got no reply. The clock chimed midnight, and still nothing. I cleared my throat. "Well," I whispered, somehow unable to raise my voice much higher than that. "I guess I'll go to bed now." "Sit down," Kari told me. "You don't seem to realize the cosmic importance of this." "Cosmic importance?" I asked skeptically. She nodded, but wouldn't give me any more explanation. I turned to leave, but suddenly I heard a bump or a thump kind of sound come from the kitchen. I froze, and I heard Irene give out a startled squeak. "Ghost?" Kari asked warily. Gregory stood up. "It came from the kitchen. I'll go see." "NO!" Irene gasped. Gregory smiled at her. "It's okay. I know karate." He nodded to us. "That's right, karate... made my whole body a weapon for only thirty dollars a month." He stepped forward into the kitchen, acting as brave as he could. The next thing I knew, we were out on the front lawn, freaking out. I don't know if what we saw was a ghost - like I said, I don't believe in them. But when my next door neighbor got to her car just before dawn this morning, we were still out there on the lawn, waiting for the sun to rise so we could go back in there. "What's going on?" She asked us. Kari laughed out, "We had a seance at the house last night... never gonna do THAT again!" I'm not sure what our neighbor thinks of us now, but I know what I think. I think I'm not letting Kari plan any more of my birthday parties ever again.

Answer 2

I hope you don't mind me taking shots at these. I enjoy doing them.I was pooped after a day at work, needed to pick up groceries, and now thought perhaps I was being followed. Possibly that deranged man at the dry cleaners, who will be sorry if he tries anything, is the culprit. Thank god I had martial arts training. That's right, karate...made my whole body a weapon, after my bad experience with rabid homosexuals. Well, let's not make that the focus of our conversation.
My current position as a Yahoo programmer, allows me time for side jobs. By the way, are you still seeing that therapist? I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer. He couldn't post an Answer on the board, and was having a conniption fit, kept saying "but you don't realize the cosmic importance of this." I get all my clients problems solved by using this forum! I asked him if the computer is not working, what is your back up system, and he said "well, we had a seance last night......never gonna do THAT again. Now all my patients are in the Psychiatric ward.

Answer 3

That was fun, Lady Ettejin!

Answer 4

got it, saved it, will think about it..but now moving to sleep.
by 'the strange sound, at the midnight"...could think only of a fart (sorry). i really should go to bed

Answer 5

Is this homework?