My close friend is in love with two guys. One that she has been with for a long time and another she met she feels she has a connection with. She is scared of losing her existing bf, but can not deny feelings for another. She asked me for advice and I only told her that's something she needs to figure it out on her own. I hate to see her like this and her confusion is preventing her from being productive. I want to stay out of it, but I hate seeing a close friend do this herself. She keeps asking me for advice, but I keep telling her that is something I can not be a part of. All I know is that she has been with both intimately and her bf is my friend. I want to tell him to move on so he won't get hurt, b/c he's trying so hard and already bought an engagement ring. Any advice?
2007-01-11 05:49:03 · 7 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Integrity: she started messing around with one guy without leaving one she was already involved with. There is an integrity issue here, IMO. Really, if you don't put yourself in these situations, then you don't wind up confused.
You can't help her with character issues. A good question for you is why are you friends with somebody who has integrity issues? You sure you aren't a bit co-dependent here? You need to fix people? If so, maybe you can do some charity work:)
No offense: been there, done that.
2007-01-11 05:56:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn thery are both your friends that's hard but still that's not right what she is doing what she should do is think about who's going to be there for her the most the new guy or the one she's been with for a while the new guy might just want her for something else while her boy friend is really in love with her..and becarefull you might end up getting hurt to ... why start something all over again when you already have the person you love and loves you...
2007-01-11 05:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by SaGa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People's actions are more honest than their words.
She has a boyfriend.
She cheated on boyfriend -therefore she is not committed to her boyfriend.
She hasn't left her boyfriend for the new guy -therefore she is not committed to the new guy either.
Love is caring about how some one else feels.
Her actions doesn't show caring for her boyfriend -therefore she does not love her boyfriend.
She may say she does and think she does, but she doesn't love him.
I would tell your friend to break up with her boyfriend because her own actions tell you and everyone she doesn't love him.
I would also tell her its weak people that jump from relationship to relationship and she should date, but not have a boyfriend until she can learn to be less selfish and more selfless. Finally, I would tell her she has until Friday to tell her boyfriend its over or you will tell him what is happening because you have standards you live be and her boyfriend is your friend as well.
2007-01-11 07:12:32 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being very selfish. She wants the best of both worlds, unfortunately life doesnt work that way. She should be honest with her current boyfriend if she is involved with another guy. Nothing you can really do. I feel sorry because you are friends with the guy she is cheating on. Maybe you should tell her it is putting you in a bad position with your guy friend.
2007-01-11 05:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by hank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She enjoys the stability and comfort of the long-term guy, and the excitement of the second guy. I don't think she loves the second guy, it's just that "a NEW broom sweeps good"! He's fun, he's fabulous, he's forbidden.........She needs to drop this guy like a bad habit, and go with PROVEN dependability. After the fling is over, and the show is done, the new guy will be gone too. "Show horses" are only good for the show!
2007-01-11 05:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's not really "set" on being with her b/f. The other guy is just a distraction. She needs to be honest with her b/f - even though it will break his heart. I would advise her to think about leaving, and starting fresh in pursuing other people. I'm willing to bet she will not end up with the "new" guy; he's only a "filler", a stepping stone in her struggle to assert herself. Sounds like she just hasn't "sown her wild oats" before she settled down with the guy.
2007-01-11 06:04:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that what she done and is doing is wrong. If she has any respect or dignity; she will make a decision and quit doing that. Also, she don't deserve either is she is two timing and having sex like that anyways.
2007-01-11 05:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋