im young but want to be a mum,is it too soon?

Question

alot of people think being a young mum is a wrong thing btu i really think im ready.what should i do?

Answer 1

you need to wait! How old are you?

Answer 2

The word that stands out to me is 'think'-when you express being ready for this. Are you REALLY ready? Being a parent is a 24 hour a day,7 day a week job. No days off,no holidays,no breaks. The child comes first in everything!
Children are a blessing,and I adore my daughter-but I was 32 when she was born. I'd lived my life,enjoyed my youth-I was mentally and financially ready for what parenthood would bring. And even then,it's been,at times,very hard work-especially when she was a baby! (She's 7 now.)
May I suggest that what you're seeking is unconditional love? And you think by having a baby,you will have that. While it's true your child will love you-you have to be confident and happy in yourself before you can even think about raising a child.

Answer 3

I don't think it necessarily matters how old you are but what sort of life you can offer the child. I always wanted to have children straight from school but am so glad I waited. I am nearly 23 so am not old at all and pregnant with my first chid. Am so glad I waited,I'm a completely different person to when I was 17. I feel ready to be a mum and so glad I lived a little first.

Answer 4

no one can answer this for you, you need to talk to someone who is an experienced mum and find out the downs as well as the ups of having children, I think the older you are the better you will be able to deal with the downsides of parenthood. It all depends on your level of maturity and your financial and emotional security (husband/partner/family etc...) the only person who can really answer this question is you, you are obviously doubting yourself so I don't think now is a good time to start a family, wait until you have no more doubts or issues, only you can know when you are ready.

Answer 5

I had my first baby at 16 and although i love my kids to bits if i could go back i defiantly would have waited till i was older. you think its not that hard to look after a baby especially when you are young, please wait until you are older it is very hard work just remember being a mummy is a full time job nite and day and that child will be around for at least the next 18 years if not longer. Go out have fun there is plenty of time to have a family when you are older..

Answer 6

Yes its too young,

you need a husband , and a job , a babysitter.
your own place,

I was 21 when I got pregnant with my first child, engaged ( and the ring had 21 diamonds in it )
and living with my childs father,

we had been together for 5 years,

The day I told him I was pregnant he said " We can't get married "

I thought oh he's scared he'll come around, NOPE
I went with another woman and I was living with him.

So I wound up moving back with my mother, and a year later I was saving my money from my job to get my own place.

I was barely scraping by,

I mean car payment , rent food, utilities, it all costs money,

What kind of money can you make at a job? will that pay the bills?

I am fortunate enough to have found another man, he works and lets me stay home with the kids, we have 2 together and I have a total of 3 Sons.

I think you should try pretending what its like to be a mother , by setting the alarm to go off everyhour, and every hour run upstairs and then down stairs, and then upstairs and down stairs, make dinner and lunch and breakfast for your parents, you don't have to tell them why and what your experiment is all about,
just do it, then you have to clean up the mess afterwards,
and wash everyones laundry while you still go to school.
on weekends for the next 4 weeks, don't go anywhere, just stay home and cater to your family, vaccum, wash the toilets, windex the windows and polish the furniture, you also should still be cooking all of the meals , if your not able to make a hot meal because your at school, you need to prepare a meal for them in advance,

And most importantly, no friends and no phone contact with your friends,

being a mom is sacrifice, NOT FUN, the rewards of parenting comes afterwards.

And remember you set the alarm to go off everyhour, so your job is to care for your baby during that time, running up and down the stairs 2 times is about the equivalent of that, and that includes through the night, you can't sleep more than 4 hours a day

see if you can do these things for 1 month and enjoy it, because the key is it has to feel like fun, if your not enjoying it, then you are NOT ready to be a mother,

you might be thinking well its gonna be diffrent with my baby,

BUT ITS NOT- its actually harder.

because the worst part of parenting , is the lack of sleep, and no one can help you not even a husband, especially if your breast feeding, the baby will drain the life force out of you.literally

so think long and hard, with your head, if your head tells you its wrong then listen to it,

and hormones will fool you everytime.

be smart and prepare for your baby, she'll deserve the best mother she can have, and your not the best mother she could have YET, you need to develope your skills,

one of those skills are patience, patience to wait until your ready, patience to wait til the baby can come into this world with a prepared family, patience to build your parenting skills, patience to save money, and be financially secure for your child, patience to find and get to know a mans character, because having a child with someone is a life long link,
( many girls mistake this as a good link, but actually MOST men are resentfull, and feel trapped, and thier plan backfires, )


If you want to talk in more detail, please email me,

and DON'T have a baby to be an accessory like paris hilton has her dogs.

because its something that never leaves your side and requires more care, devotion, selflessness,- and selflessness means that your doing whats best for the baby , even if it means you have to wait to have one, If your selfish then your gonna make your self happy, get pregnant and spend your life hurting the child becasue your jealous, POOR, lonely, broke.

Single parents often feel alone, thats why you need to stop speaking to your friends for a month. to feel what its really like.

And hopefully your not pregnant, but why don't you test your BF and tell him you are pregnant and see what he really does.

and keep your lie a secret for the next month, lets see how helpful he truely is,

Meg
[e-mail]

Answer 7

hello shelly my email is [e-mail] i don't know how old u r but i will tell u this taken care of someone else's baby is good cause u can give them back babies r so cute yes but they r hard work u will have all ur friends oh yeah i will help u but u find when u really need them like 2am in the morning and ur baby is crying and u don't know buying cloths yes the goverment help u but man i have been there but i had my 1st child when i was 21 and i feel now that i shoulda done alot more with my life first b4 having my 2 kids the goverment money does help but they only give u so much and when u need something for ur self it is hard cause u find u feel guilty cause there is always something it is hard but it is not as hard as u think i luv my kids . My sister had her first child when she was 14 yr old my sister is now 28 and now has three kids she has struggeld bad i have been there for her but there is only so much i can do there has been time she had to search for someone to borrow money cause her baby has had no nappies even though u get milk tokens sometimes it is not enough so she had to try and find milk it is exspensive now she is single with 3 kids and wants to go out and meet people she thought she would b with her man 4 ever but things happen when ur young with kids u find that men don't think they say oh lets go out if u don't have kids u could say yeah fine but when u have kids its like ok i will try and find a baby sitter but they don't always work out they let u down or ur baby ends up sick and u can't go out then u find the guy is like ok what ever it is hard there r some many things i could tell u on reasons not to have one yet if u like children so much try and find something to go to collage and do something with kids babies even i did 2 yrs of collage when i had my kids and i had to drop out cause collage was messing me around with the child care so now i am in 3 grand dept and i have still not finished my collage course well if u need any help my email is above i willl b glad to talk to u

Answer 8

You can be a great mom at any age... It is not a matter of age...
HOWEVER... This is a good gauge (checklist) of if you are even a little prepared...

1. Are you married?
Being married supplies you with not only a means to get pregnant but help in the support & raising of a child. There is accountablility...(I am not saying that husbands don't leave wives, but it is harder to do so when you are leagally bound to each other!)

2. Do you have an education?
To get a decent paying job, you need an education!

3. Do you (and your husband) have decent jobs?
It takes a ton of money to care for & provide for a child. Paying for Dr.visits & the delivery alone can break the bank. Let alone gear & college..etc. Beacause you also have to pay for things for yourself, like a house or apartment, & all the bills that come with that.

4. Do you have the support of your family/families?
Even if you are capable of caring for yourself physically & financially, rasing a child is difficult, it requires tons of PATIENTS, LOVE, SACRIFICE, SELFLESSNESS, & then more love. It only take 2 to make a baby, but you need love and support from EVERYONE around you.

***EVERYONE ELSE READING THIS BEFORE YOU GO & SAY "You CAN raise kids with out those things!"
YES, I am completely aware of the ability of some to raise children with few if any of the things I listed above....BUT I am only trying to tell her how to make it EASIER on herself!!!

Answer 9

Depends how young is young? I'm 22 nearly 23 and thinking of children but I'm worried I'm too young and need to settle in to a career first. But I have friends who had children at 17/18 and are glad they did. I think it's a personality thing, and if you have a good support network and coping abilities it's ok. Although personally I do believe children should have a mother and father figure as much as possible.

Answer 10

How young? I don't think your body is really ready to cope with pregnancy until you are at least 16. Do you really think that you want to be in changing nappies instead of going out having fun with friends and what about a partner, it,s hard enough finding'the one' when your single let alone when you already have a child!

Answer 11

Children are a huge demand on your time and finances.
Most young girls look at how cute children are and how much fun it is to baby sit. Well when they are your own you don't get to leave and nobody pays you.

A child costs a lot of money, by the time you factor in the extra space, food clothing, toys, doctors, you are a looking at an addition $1000/mo in living expenses. $12,000/year to raise a child is also a very low estimate.

They will drive you nuts, the will push you buttons, I assure you they are not always cute. You have to be in the time of your life where you are willing to put another persons needs completely before your own.

You don't get to hang out and come and go as you please.

Motherhood is a life long commitment, many of us have the baby itch at a young age, do yourself a favor and wait until you are married and in a good career before starting a family.