Like Darkness:
A world of killing and blood spilling
Is what we have brought ourselves
A perfect place this is far from
And so few choose to push on
With demons cluttering around
And hope seeming so far away
What choice can make
Other than pass away?
A Light there is, at the end of tunnel
But the Tunnel of Life is far from short
It curves and swerves and never goes down
The king of challenges this one is
And few can make it through
But with His help and a bit of hope
We all will make it there
2007-01-11 05:40:14 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
It instills hope.
2007-01-11 06:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't flow very well. Some parts you have good flow and others there is none at all. I would say insted of "What choice can make" I would say "What choice can WE make" Then later on the word "down" needs a rhyme since you are referring to a king try putting the word "Crown" in there somehow. Then the word "through" needs a rhyme so on the last line I would add "Too" to the end. I hope that helps, but all in all it is an excellent poem with a great meaning. Good luck!
2007-01-11 05:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by aimeeme_g 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unenlightened & full of cliches.
Keep "pushing on".
Good luck.
2007-01-11 06:00:30 · answer #3 · answered by Bijoux 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cute. i guess.unless your over 18. then maybe it it is a little droll.
2007-01-11 05:55:16 · answer #4 · answered by bjohnson808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good
2007-01-11 05:44:14 · answer #5 · answered by runescape player 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋