my situation is kinda crazy. i met my girl 2 years ago. we got married last year. then divorced 8 months later. now were dating again. my problem is i try to do everything for her. What ever she needs me to do i automatically say yes because i love her and i want to make her happy. its never anything big, expensive or impossible but every day kinda things. it seems like i take on way too many things at once in an attempt to please her and when i faulter on something and something i told her i would do dosent get done then shes mad at me and says i lied to her. this reaction isnt reserved for big things only , for instance i told her i would read a specific book and i never got around to it. durring a fight she brought that up. shes not an evil person by any means. I just want to know what i can do, or not do to show her that i love her. and that when i tell her im going to do something i have the best intentions to get it done. were both in the army and have hectic schedules. advice?
2007-01-11 05:35:20 · 8 answers · asked by jimmyjames83 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i've been on the other end of this and i think the best thing you can do for the relationship is learn to say know and learn to show her that your love is not defined by how you cater to her needs only but by how you make sure you are both happy and healthy and nurtured in the relationship. learn your limits and learn to compromise. if you feel overwhelmed talk about it and don't do things just to please her ALL the time (i'm a girl so i gotta say somethings things are good like dishes) but if you aren't going to read a book but want to ask her other ways you can show that you care and are interested but are trying to be realistic.
good luck!
2007-01-11 05:40:21 · answer #1 · answered by ChiQuiBaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men work so hard to MAKE love happen.
First thing, back off.
Love is caring about how someone feels NOT doing stuff.
Do what you would normally do. Let her fall in love with who you really are and NOT "who you when you are trying to be to show her that you are the one". You are making love work. Stop it. Let her enjoy your company. Let her want to be near you because she wants to and not for what you do for her. When she does something stupid laugh at her like you would any friend. This is treating her like an equal. Women aren't some fragile thing that needs to be taken cared of. Women are people who have dreams and thoughts and hopes and fears and that are flawed. Be her imperfect equal and she my love you not despite your flaws, but because of them.
2007-01-11 15:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like my wife. She is selfish and inconsiderate and Spoilt to say the least. Your headed for a life of misery. No matter what you do, it won't be good enough because she doesn't respect you. Sorry, but that is the truth. It's all about her and it will always be all about her. Your wants, needs and desires are not even considered............and one day you will have enough of her ways.
I understand you love her, but that won't be enough. About two years of it is about all you will be able to take unless things change. I don't know all the issues involved; but I do know something is going to have to change with you and her relationship.
2007-01-11 13:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound coarse, and maybe I don't know what I am talking about, but GET OUT! It sounds like you are losing yourself here. What does she do for you? What do you do for you? Relationships are about give and take. If yours is all about giving, and if it's never enough, you lose YOU. And that sucks. Trouble is, if you've made your life all about her, then it's going to take a while and a lot of wasted energy spinning on things to get over her.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-11 13:43:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are like oil and vinegar.....get away from each other, for good! You deserve better! With the next one, stop trying so hard. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't work!
2007-01-11 13:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...well it sounds to me that she is expecting to much from you and youn have to ask yourself what is she doing for you..i dont know the situation so i dont know if she does little things that matter for you but it sucks to be in a relationship where you do all the work..wish you the best of luck wish i could help more..but you have to stand up more for yourself its obvious how much you love her...just tdont let her take advantage
2007-01-11 13:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being a wussy and doing everything for her. Grow some nads. Women want a man who will challenge them. you are a doormat to her and she will soon leave you for a more "manly man" who will not be push around.
2007-01-11 13:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello she is using you, can't you see that. She doesn't care about you. You need to let her go.
2007-01-11 13:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋