Last night was crazy time. My daughter is getting ready to do her science fair project, and yesterday her science teacher approved her project. But the teacher also told her that some kids had already finished their projects.
This put my daughter into a world-class tizzy. Her project is fairly complex, involving the growth of bacteria cultures. Some of the projects other kids are doing are less complicated and don't involve time-consuming processes, so they are quicker to do. But all my daughter sees is that she's behind others (not so, according to her teacher).
When things like this happen, she gets absolutely panic-striken and starts tearing up and getting upset, and starts pushing on us, her parents, to run around like crazy people to try to do overnight what will take a week to do.
I don't know what the source of the anxiety/panic is. We don't push her and never have. She's a high achieving perfectionist and I need help. What can I do to stop the panic/anxiety?
2007-01-11 05:28:53 · 5 answers · asked by Karin C 6 in Education & Reference ➔ Teaching
While teaching, I have come across plenty of these students. I just tell them that science is not a race. Teachers value hard work and effort, not who can get their project done the fastest. An analogy that you could use is take her favorite meal. Ask her what would taste better. If you slopped it together in 30 seconds and put it in the microwave, of if you followed the directions, took your time and cooked it properly?
She'll be fine, just tell her that it is one project and that she does not need to stress her whole life out about it.
2007-01-11 05:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by hdedone 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was the same exact way in school and still have slight anxiety. I always have to make things perfect and concise, and if they are not, I have a meltdown. But, I have gotten better with this. Deep breathing. I know it sounds kind of dumb, but if I feel anxiety coming on, I just stop what I'm doing and take a couple deep breaths, and in my mind, I encourage myself which gives me confidence. Sometimes I think we just need to slow down and allow our minds to settle down.
Sometimes I have to tell myself that it's okay if everything isn't perfect and just right. If I know I tried my hardest, I can be at peace with myself.
The only advice I have though is the deep breath thing. And also try telling your daughter that it's okay to take the whole time the teacher gave her to finish her project. Point out that she has very complex project that is going to be amazing and it needs more time than the others.
2007-01-11 14:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by PrettyThingCalledMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is terrified she wont 'measure up' and to do that she needs to be the best. I know because I was just like her. Have her sit down and make out a list of what she needs to have done in steps that she can check off as they are done. You may not push her but I am sure you reward her a lot when she is the best...I guess this is a personality thing that some kids do for attention. Unfortunately I never grew out of it...I just learned to put things in perspective. Watch her though....most anorexics have this kind of personality trait. Just try to get her to do things in order and it should calm her down a little...telling her she isnt behind wont help because in her mind she is behind. And she probably can't relax until it is done..I am still like that now. Good luck with your daughter.
2007-01-11 13:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the type. I used to be the type. But I'm not sure there's a whole lot you can do. She needs to learn how to deal with her anxiety (I'm assuming it's not to the level of needing medication). For me, making a detailed plan of what to do when helps a lot.
Make sure you don't become her slave while she's doing this project - she needs to know that you will help her, but it has to be on your terms. Ask her to draw up a list of the things she'd like you to do (take her shopping for supplies, keep her little brother away, etc.). And then stick to it, and don't go outside of the list. She not only needs to learn to be self-sufficient, but she also needs to learn that the world won't come to an end if everything isn't perfect (believe me, that's a hard lesson to learn!).
Good luck, and try to keep a cool head!
2007-01-11 13:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by kris 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her to make a detailed plan of the time it is going to take her to complete her project, she has to do this so that she can see and comprehend what her mind is rejecting, this works well for a lot of panic , because when we fear, we panic, and the trick to stop that is to make our minds work in a different direction, even a few moments of distraction and a reasonable cause will effect a good result
2007-01-11 15:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋