Hypothetically,married ladies with children....?

Question

IF you were getting a divource,would you willingly give your ex full custody of the kids? I just cant understand why a woman(that has no addictions,severe mental issues,ect) would do this? Not dismissing men that do,its just that a woman carries the baby inside her,gives birth to the baby,so youd THINK she'd be unable to just hand them over.By the same token,I cant understand women who refuse their exes access to the children (assuming the man isnt abusive). My marriage is stable but IF we ever divourced I would be so angry if he didnt spend a little time every day with his. The divource is with the spouse,not the children. Have any input on this?

In the case Im speaking of,both parents are pretty much absent and unparental,cheatin' boozers.

Answer 1

The transition into parenthood can be a very difficult. Often it is the stresses and physical changes that we go through as a woman that make it a particularly difficult time for us, and the isolation a lot of young mother's feel can make them feel like their family would be better off without them. I have known women who have left their whole family for a year or 2 even and then come back and fight to regain custody of their children, once they have regained a sense of themselves and their equilibrium.

It doesn't pay to judge the actions of another - you really have no idea what that person has gone through. I have also found in my experience that when I say "I can't understand why people..." I am often given the opportunity to learn about it first hand by being put myself into their situation. Be glad that you are not in their position and have compassion for those people who must be in very difficult circumstances indeed.

Peace!

Answer 2

I am a married woman with two kids of my own from a previous marriage and I have two step sons from my current husband. He has full custody... She just wasnt the parenting type, is what I like to call it. While my husband and her were divorced, she packed all the boys stuff and came to his house and basically said, "here, you can do this better then I can. I just cant do it". And left them with dad. Dad was elated, but I was dumbfounded to hear the story. After meeting her I understood. Some people just cant do the 'kid thing". So bizarre for a woman to not be able to but sometimes, thats just how it is. The boys are WAY better off with us. They have a full loving family here as with her they would have been "in the way" or an annoyance.
Thats just my two cents....

Answer 3

The only woman who would give up custody of her children is a selfish one. I'm sorry to say, but children are better off with their mother - assuming both parents are good parents. The father should never be denied partial custody, but kids should be with their mother.

Answer 4

I have no idea how a women can do such a thing!! My love for my children is stronger than anything i have ever felt before. Nothing would drive me crazier than not having my children by my side. There is no stonger bond than a mother and her offspring. I do agree with what you said about the dads too, I do want the kids to have a equal relationship with their father as well.i am a firm believer in joint custody.....

Answer 5

Some women feel that the man is finacially or stable enough to take care of their children,some women do not have the means like a good paying job and are finacially unstable to take care of them,so they would rather see them where they would not have to worry about them thats just how life is sometimes.Its not giving them up either because the mom still has visitation.There is no reason a man cannot take care of his kids, specially if the mom does get custody and the dad refuses to pay child support.
It works both ways.Just because a woman cannot take care of her kids does not make her a worthless woman.

Answer 6

If you wanted him to spend a little time every day with his kids, why bother to get a divorce? Wouldn't it make more sense to more or less grow up, learn to get along, and provide your kids with the stable home the deserve?
Anyway, I know a woman who has no desire to be with her child, and dumps him off at the father's house for weeks at a time, and also dumps him at the grandmother's house for days on end...though sometimes she'll "hang out" with him for a couple of hours (he's 7) BUT she will fight tooth and nail to keep "custody" so she can screw with everyone's mind over 'visitation" whenever she wants. It's a pathetic power play. Everyone just laughs now when she does her round-robin phone calls/ PMS-rant of "You'll never see my child again" because that lasts about 18 hours.

Answer 7

Every situation is different. In my case, my only child does live with his father. That is what is best in our circumstances. His dad is disabled and does not work. I work 40+ hours per week. Dad can be there to ensure that he does his homework, his chores and monitor who he is hanging out with. My husband and I have custody of his son and he lives with us. His ex cannot support her children on her income and works 2 to 3 jobs at any given time. You should not judge another's situation unless you are directly involved. If the "adults" cannot figure out what is best for the children, the courts will!

Answer 8

Well if the parents are unparental, cheating, boozers, then they don't want the kids, they would just in the way. If a mom didn't have those problems she probably would give them up.

Sounds to me that the children would be better off with YOU!

Answer 9

I personally wouldn't give my husband full custody. We would share joint custody. Although this seems crazy to us, you never know what a person's state of mind is. She could be just tried or maybe she think that her husband will do a better job raising the kids.

As for women who don't allow their ex to see their children, it's wrong. We have to remember whatever we do in this life, we will see it again. Also, children are smart. You can only fool and lie to them for so long.

Answer 10

I could never give up my children. I also wouldnt deny the mans visits with his kids. I have custody of mine but I am still going through a divorce. He is an alcoholic and somwhat abusive. He has supervised visits. But NEVER would I just hand over any of my kids. I love em dearly. Is she being selfish and just wants to have her own life back? I mean it doesnt really make her a bad mother to do so. MAybe she feels her ex will do better for the kids than she can. She might even be sorry for her decision later in time.